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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Please share with me your experiences with respite care. How did your loved one handle this? Did they feel abandoned? Did you visit daily? Were they well taken care of? How long is recommended for me to get well rested?
Three days is better than none. If you find someone who can stay with your mom and it works out okay, you've set the stage for future respite breaks that you can schedule regularly.
I'm a 24/7 caregiver for my mom since 2012, so respite is a must!! I have her enrolled in a weekday daycare program through our local Council on Aging. That is 5 hours I can take care of the house, errands and let thoughts wander. Excellent care, a bus picks her up; drops off and keeps her active for a super reasonable cost! Next, if it's just an evening off, I book through ComfortKeepers or the like. Lisenced-bonded. They are roughly $20.00 an hour, so this is used lightly. I've had very good experience with the company/staff here. Next, for a weekend or week off it's a treasure hunt to find a foster care home or facility. I find someplace that's great and management changes or they ask me to not bring mom back. It's a blow when I like a place but I'm back in the process of finding another one. When you're in this by yourself; respite is a must. Keep your quest going. Key is if you can find a daycare and get her to go a couple times a week. This gets her in a socialized setting and YOU will love having her gone even a few hours. Sending hugs.❤️
Dear Cadams, Having respite care when I cared for my father was a true blessing. My father was strongly opposed in having anyone else; it was necessary for me so I could function. We started by having a caregiver to come for a few hours once a month while I would do local errands. Eventually my father trusted the ladies who came and really enjoyed their company. Within 6 months my husband and I were able to have 3 days away. The ladies gave my father undivided attention and love. When my father had to be admitted to LTC, the ladies continued to visit and send notes to him. I know it is overwhelming in caregiving for our parents. People always say to take care of myself but my job was to care for my father. Respite care was caring for him so that I could care well for him. My prayers for you as you continue down this road.
Respite care is for you to take a break. Do so & don't feel guilty about it. For your peace of mind research & visit the facility you are considering. Speak with the director & be forthright & honest regarding her behavior & needs. They should want her to visit to assess her. They will request pertinent medical information & copies of legal documents to keep on hand. Most facilities offer activities during the day and encourages socializing. There should be activity personnel & staff present 24/7. If your mom wanders consider a locked facility or a monitor for her, this will lessen your fears & concerns. If you find a place that is ok with 3 night respites & you're feeling ok with it, usually a "gut feeling" go for it. Most places don't even consider 3 nights, their reasoning is they need more time to adhere to their treatment plan. Their preference is usually a 1 or 2 weeks, some want a 30 day, that's getting ready for long term care if you think about it. It's a respite, the longer stay=more $, let's be honest. Depending on behavior concerns, you may have to fib to get her to the facility & do a "sneak out." My brother enjoys breakfast out & the facility serves great food, the dining room, the whole place is like a 5 star hotel. If it's the right fit, and you'll know, your respite will be just that, a rest. Check in to make sure she's doing well, it's 3 nights, then take that deep sigh of relief. The right place knows what a respite is, a trained staff will know both of your needs, they care about you & your mom. A 3 night is a "baby step" it's amazing what that short time does, it goes by much to fast. Recharge yourself. Next time you'll want a week. I'm due & wanting one for me now!🌈Best to You
My daughters took me to England for 80 bday. I was taking spouse 2 day wk to Memory day care. They suggested every day for wk before I left. Then the day I I left acted as normally drop off but left for 2 wks. Needless to say I was concerned. I got shingles 3 wks before from stress. I snuck over his foam bed pad & special blanket. The helpers said to him your going to stay w us tonight when I normally picked him up. A friend had son in law in same place who said she'd keep eye on hubby. She texted me he's doing fine. Was good news for me. When I picked him up out of the blue said, I really enjoyed myself here. Blew me over as he can't remember what he ate 10 min ago. He had never been away from me at nite. I requested he have a rm mate. I can't tell you how wonderful that was for me. Now know all worry was for nothing. God bless, he'll take care of both of you.
A lot depends on your loved one and the level of care they need. Some people have mentioned going on vacation while their loved one also had an enjoyable "spa holiday" in AL, of course the swankier the facility the more it seems like a five star resort. Someone who is very against leaving their home for any reason, or who need a lot of physical care, can be more of a challenge. Either way their minimum needs will be met, so don't let that discourage you from getting a break. I think you need at least two weeks to unwind. And although our instincts are to check in often it really doesn't allow you to mentally detach when you do, and frankly if it is not going well it may be better not to know (and obsess) about it, if there is a serious problem they will call.
Sorry, when I read the question I assumed you were asking about an extended stay away, which generally means a facility. In Canada have government funded home care so I get away a few hours every week, I would be a basket case without it. For shorter weekend get-aways hiring 24/7 aides in her/your home would probably be much less stressful for her, but of course that is contingent on you actually going away yourself. My mom is completely ADL dependent, so a nursing home is her only option. Her first stay was a 1 week trial run and it was a disaster (I ranted here about it). Her second stay I was out of the country, and since she was still breathing when I picked her up I counted it as a success, I didn't ask for details because I didn't see any point rehashing something that was in the past and couldn't be changed. Both options are expensive, fortunately mom can afford it.
Wow, 2 weeks. I am feeling guilty about 4 hour's just to go out and wash the car. How can one leave a loved one for 2 weeks and not be concerned about the care?
I know you love your "patient" but for God's sake, you are a human being, not God. YOU have every right to have a break and you must in order to take care of yourself. You should NOT feel guilty. Explain this to the patient and if they have any kindness in them and are able to understand, then fine. If not, then don't worry about it - they don't understand and just want attention. But YOU must have respites.
I have to admit I was scared out of my mind that once he got used to the routine when I placed him for respite I would not be able to bring him home. I used the same place for respite that I did for his Day Care so he was used to the facility and the people. I dropped him off for Day Care as usual but I was asked to come back to help him get ready for bed so that it would be easier for him. Well I tried that but he would not settle down. I left and told the staff that he would probably be up for a while but he would go to bed. He did, had a pleasant night and I left that next morning. I was worried but when I got home I went to pick him up the next day, I waited until about lunch time, went in packed up all his clothes, put them in the car then got him after he finished lunch. He got into the car, got home and went right to his recliner as if he had been away for just the day. Mind Blown..... All my worry All my stress He was just fine, adapted well.
I guess it is just like when dropping a child off to day care you imagine the worst, hope for the best and things usually work out well. Important thing is you need a break you need to take advantage of respite care. You will be a better caregiver refreshed, relaxed and with a new perspective on things.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Next, if it's just an evening off, I book through ComfortKeepers or the like. Lisenced-bonded. They are roughly $20.00 an hour, so this is used lightly. I've had very good experience with the company/staff here.
Next, for a weekend or week off it's a treasure hunt to find a foster care home or facility. I find someplace that's great and management changes or they ask me to not bring mom back. It's a blow when I like a place but I'm back in the process of finding another one. When you're in this by yourself; respite is a must. Keep your quest going. Key is if you can find a daycare and get her to go a couple times a week. This gets her in a socialized setting and YOU will love having her gone even a few hours. Sending hugs.❤️
Having respite care when I cared for my father was a true blessing. My father was strongly opposed in having anyone else; it was necessary for me so I could function. We started by having a caregiver to come for a few hours once a month while I would do local errands. Eventually my father trusted the ladies who came and really enjoyed their company. Within 6 months my husband and I were able to have 3 days away.
The ladies gave my father undivided attention and love.
When my father had to be admitted to LTC, the ladies continued to visit and send notes to him.
I know it is overwhelming in caregiving for our parents. People always say to take care of myself but my job was to care for my father. Respite care was caring for him so that I could care well for him. My prayers for you as you continue down this road.
I used the same place for respite that I did for his Day Care so he was used to the facility and the people.
I dropped him off for Day Care as usual but I was asked to come back to help him get ready for bed so that it would be easier for him. Well I tried that but he would not settle down. I left and told the staff that he would probably be up for a while but he would go to bed. He did, had a pleasant night and I left that next morning.
I was worried but when I got home I went to pick him up the next day, I waited until about lunch time, went in packed up all his clothes, put them in the car then got him after he finished lunch. He got into the car, got home and went right to his recliner as if he had been away for just the day.
Mind Blown.....
All my worry
All my stress
He was just fine, adapted well.
I guess it is just like when dropping a child off to day care you imagine the worst, hope for the best and things usually work out well.
Important thing is you need a break you need to take advantage of respite care.
You will be a better caregiver refreshed, relaxed and with a new perspective on things.
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