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My parents signed me as DPOA that is effective NOW - even though my 93 year old dad still does all the financial stuff for my parents - even completing and filing his own taxes. The attorney told him that I should have access and power NOW so that in an emergency, it would be all set up. This is different from a springing POA which requires proof of incapacity. It really allows me now to help him do all sorts of stuff when it is too much for him: contacting insurance companies, etc. The banks and some agencies made us complete their forms as well; it was a ton of work, but now all done. Explain to your husband that it is his opportunity to train his POA and have an assistant to help him when he wants it. This also allows him to see how his choice of POA will do! Make it a positive thing. If it is not predicated on his being incapacitated, he keeps control and his dignity until he wants to relinquish or he is unable to manage. It is a win-win. Good luck.
To get him to designate a POA tell him if he doesn't get it done the state will become guardian for him and charge him an hourly rate. Does he really want his money spent like that?
Childoftheking1 You cannot FORCE your husband to sign anything. If he has been diagnosed with Dementia by his Dr, NOPE. 1. Did he ever fill out a Durable Power of Attorney for his future needs? 2. If he did, research your State Notary Laws which are issued by the Secretary of State. IF IT STATES THAT YOU CAN "USE A THUMB PRINT" you will need at most and for YOUR protection, 2 witnesses. The Notary will have special authority papers that must be filed with the State. 3. Witnesses will need to sign documents as well as the Notary log. They will need to swear of their presence etc. 4. You will need to have copies of ALL PAPERWORK regarding why you have a thumb print instead of a signature. 5. MAKE SURE THE NOTARY FILES ALL REQUIRED PAPERWORK WITH THE RECORDER'S OFFICE IN THE COUNTY THIS IS ALL BEING DONE. 6. Now you also have a way to "cheat" and I personally don't like it. You husband suffers from SUNDOWNERS, yes?? He is most attentive in the morning hours, especially after eating his morning meal. Get a mobile Notary to come to your home as well as the witnesses you will still need. 7. Have the POA all filled out. Your husband most likely will not read anything or even understand what it is. 8. Have him sign, but he has to know what the document is. Again, you can use a thumb print here too. The witnesses will need to do everything explained above. 9. IF HE STILL REFUSES, GET AN EMERGENCY GUARDIANSHIP/CONSERVATORSHIP!! Then go to Court to become appointed for the rest of his life. You will most likely need to be certified otherwise the Court will appoint a "PROFESSIONAL" Fiduciary, you will have to pay for them just to ring the door bell and ask if everything is going well, then bill you for $500. 10. Question: Why does he pay the bills? Are you not on the account? 11. RESEARCH all the State Laws regarding what you can do, including whether or not your State is Community or Common property...big difference and only 9 States are Community property. IF ALL YOUR PROPERTY IS IN HIS NAME AND STATE IS COMMON PROPERTY, EVERYTHING BELONGS TO HIM! 12. Do you have children and/or step-children? This will be a very sticky wicket, TRUST ME ON THIS ONE. I'M GOING THRU A LOT OF CRAP DUE TO STEP-SIBLINGS. 13. IF YOU HIRE A FAMILY ATTORNEY TO HELP MAKE SURE YOU RESEARCH THEIR % OF COURT WORK REGARDING THIS AREA. MANY ATTORNEYS STATE THEY'RE FAMILY LAW, BUT ALL THEY DO ARE WILLS, DPOA ETC. My in-charge step-sister stole money fraudulently and I told the Court, her attorney she had. Her attorney claimed that step-sister did nothing wrong. DON'T GO AFTER A FORMER BANKER WITH EXPERIENCE IN THIS AREA! My attorney sent a letter to hers regarding issues step-sister has done. One being the money she stole and how she did it. WHOA!! HER ATTORNEY ADMITTED THAT STEP-SISTER SHOULD NEVER HAVE DONE WHAT SHE DID, NO SH**. Her attorney even attacked me telling me that I was doing things I did not have authority like changing locks on the house. Oh yes I can! The house is sole/separate property in a community property state and I can do anything I need to so as to protect her property. Step-father is not on the deed so he will not receive any monetary gain should Mom leave 1st. Step-siblings not happy! I do not have to let the Minions in the house. They're not happy that I retitled vehicles so Daddy isn't on the titles any longer. I went to Court to be appointed Guardian/Conservator for Mom. I am Mom now when it comes to any issue that she would have handled before Alzheimer's. I even filed her Will even though she is still with us to keep my siblings from trying to steal from her. They don't have keys to the house either. RESEARCH EVERYTHING. I RESEARCHED FOR 3 YRS BEFORE MY SIBLINGS FINALLY DECIDED I SHOULD HAVE BEEN TAKING CARE OF MOM SINCE 2015-2016. THEY KEPT ME OUT OF THE LOOP (I live out of State). You will be able to discuss with an Attorney pretty much on their level because you'll know if they're jerking your chain. FYI, HER ATTNY LEFT THE FIRM
Exactly why I am DW's guardian and having my will drawn up naming a guardian should I go first. When the money is gone the LO may be put into the cheapest place with minimal care and of a very low level at that.
Are you on the accounts? How are bills getting paid? A little more information about your situation might help others help you. My instinct says guardianship, but that's complicated. Perhaps the local agency on aging can help. Or speak to a lawyer. I am so sorry you are coping with this alone.
THanks for responses. He makes a monthly trip to bank to pay halfmortgage, but other bills are being paid by me. His bank account is growing and mind dwindling down to nothing. I should add that he is afraid of losing control. He put my name on his account but had second thoughts and went bank and took it off. I have never abused any money, but he thinks others will steal from him. Please pray for us.
If your husband refuses to appoint a Power of Attorney, you can try to obtain guardianship. You will need a psychologist to agree that he is incapable of making decisions. In my experience, bad decisions alone won't be enough to get someone declared to be incompetent. However, if he cannot understand basic concepts and cannot explain the consequences of his decisions, then you can probably successfully get guardianship.
It sounds as though he is allowing you to drain your savings and he's increasing his own? That sounds to me like a decision he's making where he understands the concepts and consequences.
Mom wouldn't sign POA either the lawyer took her back by herself to discuss and she got scared. Thankfully she did sign the medical surrogate, her dementia is very bad now and she's in memory care, look into getting that. Maybe you can get added on to all the accounts your not on while he is still able, my mother did allow that. All the property was sold when my dad died so really we don't need the POA now. Social security does not honor POA so I am her representative payee which can be obtained with help of a doctor.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
To get him to designate a POA tell him if he doesn't get it done the state will become guardian for him and charge him an hourly rate. Does he really want his money spent like that?
You cannot FORCE your husband to sign anything. If he has been diagnosed with Dementia by his Dr, NOPE.
1. Did he ever fill out a Durable Power of Attorney for his future needs?
2. If he did, research your State Notary Laws which are issued by the Secretary of State. IF IT STATES THAT YOU CAN "USE A THUMB PRINT" you will need at most and for YOUR protection, 2 witnesses. The Notary will have special authority papers that must be filed with the State.
3. Witnesses will need to sign documents as well as the Notary log. They will need to swear of their presence etc.
4. You will need to have copies of ALL PAPERWORK regarding why you have a thumb print instead of a signature.
5. MAKE SURE THE NOTARY FILES ALL REQUIRED PAPERWORK WITH THE RECORDER'S OFFICE IN THE COUNTY THIS IS ALL BEING DONE.
6. Now you also have a way to "cheat" and I personally don't like it. You husband suffers from SUNDOWNERS, yes?? He is most attentive in the morning hours, especially after eating his morning meal. Get a mobile Notary to come to your home as well as the witnesses you will still need.
7. Have the POA all filled out. Your husband most likely will not read anything or even understand what it is.
8. Have him sign, but he has to know what the document is. Again, you can use a thumb print here too. The witnesses will need to do everything explained above.
9. IF HE STILL REFUSES, GET AN EMERGENCY GUARDIANSHIP/CONSERVATORSHIP!! Then go to Court to become appointed for the rest of his life. You will most likely need to be certified otherwise the Court will appoint a "PROFESSIONAL" Fiduciary, you will have to pay for them just to ring the door bell and ask if everything is going well, then bill you for $500.
10. Question: Why does he pay the bills? Are you not on the account?
11. RESEARCH all the State Laws regarding what you can do, including whether or not your State is Community or Common property...big difference and only 9 States are Community property. IF ALL YOUR PROPERTY IS IN HIS NAME AND STATE IS COMMON PROPERTY, EVERYTHING BELONGS TO HIM!
12. Do you have children and/or step-children? This will be a very sticky wicket, TRUST ME ON THIS ONE. I'M GOING THRU A LOT OF CRAP DUE TO STEP-SIBLINGS.
13. IF YOU HIRE A FAMILY ATTORNEY TO HELP MAKE SURE YOU RESEARCH THEIR % OF COURT WORK REGARDING THIS AREA. MANY ATTORNEYS STATE THEY'RE FAMILY LAW, BUT ALL THEY DO ARE WILLS, DPOA ETC. My in-charge step-sister stole money fraudulently and I told the Court, her attorney she had. Her attorney claimed that step-sister did nothing wrong. DON'T GO AFTER A FORMER BANKER WITH EXPERIENCE IN THIS AREA! My attorney sent a letter to hers regarding issues step-sister has done. One being the money she stole and how she did it. WHOA!! HER ATTORNEY ADMITTED THAT STEP-SISTER SHOULD NEVER HAVE DONE WHAT SHE DID, NO SH**.
Her attorney even attacked me telling me that I was doing things I did not have authority like changing locks on the house. Oh yes I can! The house is sole/separate property in a community property state and I can do anything I need to so as to protect her property. Step-father is not on the deed so he will not receive any monetary gain should Mom leave 1st. Step-siblings not happy! I do not have to let the Minions in the house. They're not happy that I retitled vehicles so Daddy isn't on the titles any longer.
I went to Court to be appointed Guardian/Conservator for Mom. I am Mom now when it comes to any issue that she would have handled before Alzheimer's. I even filed her Will even though she is still with us to keep my siblings from trying to steal from her. They don't have keys to the house either.
RESEARCH EVERYTHING. I RESEARCHED FOR 3 YRS BEFORE MY SIBLINGS FINALLY DECIDED I SHOULD HAVE BEEN TAKING CARE OF MOM SINCE 2015-2016. THEY KEPT ME OUT OF THE LOOP (I live out of State). You will be able to discuss with an Attorney pretty much on their level because you'll know if they're jerking your chain. FYI, HER ATTNY LEFT THE FIRM
When the money is gone the LO may be put into the cheapest place with minimal care and of a very low level at that.
Please pray for us.
It sounds as though he is allowing you to drain your savings and he's increasing his own? That sounds to me like a decision he's making where he understands the concepts and consequences.