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The nursing home knew she was running a fever for almost 3 weeks. Why wouldn’t they have moved my mother out of that room as soon as they knew she was running a temperature. Is that normal in a home with this virus right now? I don’t understand! I’m furious! I’m scared for my mother,she has dementia/Alzheimers and doesn’t know what’s going on but I have no comfort in that. They can’t test my mother because of right now she’s not sympathetic. Should they be doing more for my mother like fighting to get her tested now? They slept less than 6 feet apart,they, ate at the same table for every meal. Is there anything I can do on my end to help fight for my mother to get tested now?!! Would that even make a difference? Thanks for any advice or comforting words.

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I am so sorry. The love that shines out from your writing will sustain you through these dark days. You already know you were blessed to hold her hand - treasure that and all the good memories, from recent to long ago. Be kind to yourself now.
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I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm glad you could be with her. ((hugs))
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It’s been almost 2 months since I told all of you that my mom was in a nursing home and her roommate was dying of covid. The roommate did pass and they isolated my mother and tested her for the virus and it came back negative. She then started to run a fever and they told us she might have a UTI. Test results showed she did but she was not eating and they said she seemed depressed. Few days later they called and said they were sending her to the ER because she coded. ER started her heart again. Still not eating so started nutrition in her IV did lots of testing and results showed a heart attack and several mini strokes. 2 weeks later no eating or drinking,suggested feeding tubes. Family voted no tubes. Sent her back to nursing home and was there for less than a week and then they said she was not recovering and there was nothing left to do. I and my siblings decided we didn’t want her to pass there alone so we called in Hospice. She was placed there on Monday the 25 and my sweet sweet mother passed on Saturday May 30th. Only 2 siblings were aloud in to be with her at one time. I and my sister which is next in line under me were blessed to be holding her as Jesus called her home at 11:50. Hardest thing to do listening to her heartbeat fade and then stop as she was still warm and cozy feeling. I can’t tell you the hurt I felt,I could barely breathe. She was there for my first breath and I was there for her last. We were very blessed to be with her at that time. I know I’ll take comfort in knowing I was with her at that time but for now I can’t. The heartbreak is unbearable and I’m praying every day for God to see me and my family through this. Time will heal but I’ll hurt forever. My mother was the sweetest person,never met a stranger and would take you into her heart and love you no matter who you were. Always worried about someone being hungry and invited everyone to her table. I know I’ll be with her again because I’m going to try to be the person she was even more now. I know she is with Jesus and my father and the 16 siblings she had that went before her. She was the baby in her family and the last to leave this world. I will thank God every day for blessing me with a mother like her. As of now we don’t know the cause of death but believe it was the heart attack and strokes. Maybe even covid because we believe she kept getting a false/negative result from the covid test. She had all the signs. Only God knows the real reason. Thank you for this forum and being here so I could get this all out. I’ll be praying for very one and their loved ones.
God bless you all.
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AnnReid Jun 2020
You have done many good things for her out of the love you’ve felt for her.

The pandemic has been the worst ongoing experience many of us have EVER known, and we’ve all been forced to make some very painful decisions.

Bless you and yours for doing the very best you could. May your memories of her grow sweeter with each passing day.
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👍👍
Amazing news! Obviously it will still be very hard, not being able to visit in person so take each day as it comes & look for a little light in each. Today is sunny indeed ☀️☀️
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Good news for you!

A lot of people have already HAD the coronavirus at some point in their lives and have the antibodies for it. This gives hope to a lot of people.

Good for your mom. Although you know she will not live forever, dying alone, in isolation is just cruel fate.
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cwillie Apr 2020
Your statement that people have had coronavirus at some point in their lives and already have antibodies is misleading - yes, there are many diseases that are caused by a coronavirus, including the common cold, but having had one of them at some time in your past does not give you immunity to COVID 19, SARS, MERS or any other virus in that family.
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Update about my mom.
Mom’s coronavirus text came back
NEGATIVE!!! We are so blessed!!! GOD IS GREAT! She will be moved out of isolation today and will still be quarantined. Not sure yet if they are stopping the hydroxychloroquine.
We zoomed with her yesterday after this horrible week of not knowing. She looked good but seemed not quite herself but boy was it great to see her sweet face. We should know more by Monday in what happens now. I want to THANK each and everyone for their prayers. I’m praying every day for everyone to stay safe and well. We are still not over the hump yet but by the grace of God we will make it.
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This must be a very scary time for your family. I would also contact your local or regional health department with your concerns. This governmental department should be able to help ensure the facility is taking all recommended steps to prevent the spread of this infection throughout the entire facility.
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Cherokeewaha I’m sorry to hear about your daughter and I’ll pray for you and your family. With all the prayers that are reaching heaven I’m sure God is hearing us. God’s will be done and we will prevail.
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Today’s news broadcasts have indicated that contagious transfer probably takes place in many instances before an infected carrier has any symptoms.

My LO’s AL was fastidious in its caution, but the carrier is thought to have been present on her floor and had no symptoms.

Tomorrow will be at least the 15th day of my LO’s illness. It is horrible for me to be away from her, but I’m in a vulnerable age group as well as having a potentially compromised immune system myself, so it would be a while before I could see her anyway.

The testing program here was a farce. If everyone entering the floor had been tested this would not have spread.

I say the Rosary every afternoon Fivets for “those who suffer”. Your mother will certainly be included.

You and others who have found themselves to be in this club that no one wanted to join are always in my thoughts.
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Try to distract yourself while waiting for the results, walk, music, anything. I know these are just words typed from a stranger from afar but know that you are not alone. Be prepared but keep your faith alive. Strength & best hopes to you.
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The most comforting thing I can think of is that your mother has probably already caught the virus and is among the large majority of people who have not been badly affected by it.

If she's six feet away from the person who is ill, eats at the same table and has continued these activities for three weeks close alongside a symptomatic person - how could she have escaped infection?

So either she hasn't caught it and is simply not being exposed, perhaps because she isn't touching her face or feeding herself, something like that; or she has caught it, recovered from it, and developed antibodies. I rather hope so! - because then you definitely have nothing to fear.

PS I replied before reading that your mother's roommate passed away. I am extremely sorry to hear that, not only out of common respect but because it must be upsetting for your mother even if she can't comprehend everything that is happening. I hope the NH is taking good care of her.
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My mother’s roommate passed away this morning. NH decided to isolate my mother and start her on hydroxychloroquine. They also did a coronavirus test which we should know the results on Monday. Please pray for my mother and her nurses. I still believe it’s too late but God works miracles and I’m putting this in his hands. God bless us all in this difficult time. Thank you all for being here on this forum so I can get some comfort in venting my fears. Hope I can be here when you need the same comfort in whatever you are going through. Thank you!
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cherokeewaha Apr 2020
Prayers for your mom. I lost mine a year ago and it may sound harsh but, I thank God that he took her home before this hit.
I am now worried about my daughter. She has had a headache and cough for several days and today she started running fever and losing her breath. She already has to use oxygen at times.
Many of us are going thru this terrified for our families. My girl is in bad health already and her husband and son both go to work and back home every day. If she is infected, then about 14 others in the family have been exposed.
Fivets, keep us updated about your mom please. God has some very large hands to help us. We just have to believe.
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HIPAA absolutely comes in to play here. The facility can notify residents that someone has the virus but they cannot identity WHO has it. Contrary to what many in this country think, this virus doesn’t negate the law. There’s no provision in HIPAA or the constitution that says that says the law doesn’t apply when COVID-19 is involved. The facility absolutely has to follow HIPAA.
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FloridaDD Apr 2020
That is true, but at some point, the facility may have to answer negligence claims for not isolating Covid positive people.
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In this instance, I don't think HIPAA comes into the picture. They can inform family there is an outbreak, just can't say who it is. As said, this woman was exposing people before she started showing symptoms. As soon as she showed signs of a fever, she should have been tested, if positive, then quarantined. Your mother being in the same room should have been tested because she came in contact with a person who tested positive.

Call your local Health Dept. Tell them you don't feel guidelines are being observed. You want Mom tested. They should investigate. The dept should be essential personnel.
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Unfortunately, your mother's roommate's health conditions may still be protected by HIPPA, and they couldn't disclose her status to you. Having said that, she was infectious before she tested positive, so it is likely that your mom may get it. I'm sorry, it sucks, but if they move your mom, then they risk infecting more people :-(
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Shell38314 Apr 2020
HIPPA does not apply to any contagious diseases!
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As I understand this virus, you are contagious before you run a fever. Your mom- and the workers who are caring for all the patients- were probably exposed well before the roommate ran a fever. I don't think you could have done anything to keep your mom from being exposed to the virus once it was in the home. I agree that they should have kept you informed.

There is no real point in testing her now. Even if she tests negative, she has definitely been exposed to it and would need to be kept away from the other patients for at least 14 days. I doubt the facility has enough private rooms to do that. And your mom might find that level of isolation very distressing.

All you can do is hope that if your mom develops symptoms, that she is among the large percentage of patients that will recover and hopefully have immunity.
You couldn't have done anything more than you have done to protect her. You have done everything you could.
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I am sorry that you and your mom are going through this. I am afraid that other posters are correct it won't make any difference. I am terribly sorry.


Hugs!!
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Thanks to you all for your quick response. My mom resides in a nursing home in the state of Ga. Lealonnie1, my mom’s roommate’s daughter has told us everything dealing with her mom’s illness. We received a letter in the mail on the 7th of April informing us that a resident had tested positive for the Covid-19 virus. We just received the diagnosis of mom’s roommate having tested positive on April 13 and they just took her out of the shared room on the 12 “not for having coronavirus” but so her family could visit to say their goodbyes. That is what we were told. My siblings and I also feel it’s too late for my mom now,we don’t understand why we weren’t contacted as soon as her roommate started running a fever. We believe they didn’t want the news moving around the home. Maybe they didn’t know what action they were going to take . Tomorrow I’m going to try and find out why she wasn’t sent to a hospital or why it was 2 weeks from the time of her symptoms to the time she was tested,then 5 days for the results to get to us. We really don’t know where to start but to make sure the nursing home has a plan of action if or when my mom shows symptoms.
l’m praying not only for my mom but for all the residents,nurses and CNAs. Thanks again for letting me vent. Thanks for all your prayers.
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lealonnie1 Apr 2020
It's the law for a nursing home to inform the state of a communicable illness like Covid19.....whether they want to or not. Keep that in mind as you decide what to do here. Your mom may be among a large percentage of people who have mild to no symptoms if they get the virus......its not over yet so don't count her out! A 103 year old person recovered recently too, so there is always hope no matter what!
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I'm sorry, too, that you and your mom are going through such a terrible ordeal. How do you know your mom's roommate has been running a fever for 3 weeks and is dying of the virus?? Did they just let you know there's an outbreak in the facility? That doesn't make much sense to me, really.........they should have had a better plan in place for such a situation, especially when 2 people share a room.


My mother is in a Memory Care ALF and if someone gets sick, they will be isolated (she has her own private room) and kept away from the other residents. Her doctor called me a few weeks ago to establish a care plan; what to do IF there is an outbreak at the MC. Did I want her to go to the hospital or stay in house with hospice to keep her comfortable? A care plan is vital, so get in touch with your mom's SNF and see what's going on.

Getting your mom tested now, since I assume what you're saying is she has no symptoms, may make sense since she has been exposed to a positive person for a very extended period of time. But again, you'll need a care plan moving forward in case she does test positive or contract the virus at some point.

I'd call the facility and demand some answers immediately. Wishing you the best of luck and here's a big HUG for you. Such a scary time and a bad situation.
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I'm afraid anything that is done now will be too little, too late - I'm so, so sorry. If your worst fears are realized do your best to ensure she gets cared for appropriately.
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I’m very sorry to hear this. I think is a lot of people with loved ones in LTCs worst nightmare! But I have to tell you, testing her wouldn’t make a difference. There is no cure for this horrible virus. All they can do is monitor her symptoms and start taking better precautions so that the virus doesn’t spread through out the facility. I don’t know why they didn’t move your mother, perhaps there was no other room available. And if she’d already been exposed to her roommate, moving in with someone else wasn’t a good solution either.
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I am so sorry to hear this, Fivets. How awful for you and your family. I hope others have some ideas about how to proceed, but in the meantime just wanted to let you know you are in my prayers.

PS One thought I am having which may not be of any help is calling your state senator's office (or the state senator in the district including the nursing home, if different), or going to the county's website and finding numbers to call there. Basically checking to see if there is anyone in state or county government where the nursing home is located who is aware of and attempting to deal with an outbreak in this nursing home and how to expedite more testing and isolation for residents.

What state are you in?
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