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I have reported about my nutty mom. She now lives in independent senior living but it’s time for next step, though I don’t know what that should be. She is so mean.


She go COVID earlier this week thought asymptomatic but still should be in the quarantine regiment. She does not want to do that, she claims people in her building go around with COVID all the time. I frankly believe her as older people can often be selfish.


That said, I will not go until Saturday. She says she NEEDS stuff from me.


I said I will not go until Saturday. I asked her if she wants me to catch COVID from her. She apparently doesn’t care, she needs stuff from me.


I am a bit skeptical of these quarantine protocols myself, but why not go by them?


What bothers me is she doesn’t seem to care if I get COVID or not, she NEEDS stuff


A much as she has been OCD, selfish, demanding, etc. her whole life, I think in her saner days even SHE would say, no, don’t come, stay away from me.


We had a three way call with doctor who was thinking about prescribing PlaxOvid for COVID, but given my mom doesn’t have many symptoms, we agreed not to take it as it does potentially have side effects.


Anyway, my brothers and reluctantly agree it might be time for next step, problem is what is that? She would drive people at an assisted living place crazy. She would even drive care at a memory care crazy.


Don’t know what other options exist and who can help us determine that.

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It seems unconscionable that she’d refuse to be quarantined when she has Covid. Her mild case could be a serious case in the person she infects. I counted up the people I know who have died of Covid. Eleven. Eleven families broken with grief, perhaps because some else didn’t think a few sniffles were a big deal.

I also know others who didn’t die but have heart issues, brain fog, dementia and lungs that will never get better. Sad, because now we know more about preventing this horrible disease and yet people won’t take precautions.
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Just read your additional info. Please stop listening to non sensical conversation and criticism. The minute it starts get off the phone or leave. And no need to explain or defend yourself. Ask the staff where she lives if it’s time for a higher level of care and if so, let them be the bad guys who initiate the move. No worries about her being mean after a move, the staffs of assisted living are well versed in rotten, childish behavior. They don’t have the emotional investment that you do, they can easily let it go. Go see mom when it’s best for you and no caving. Her demands aren’t your commands. She’s blessed that you care at all
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thanks all
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verystressedout Aug 2023
Get well soon!

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What a mom I felt terribly sick overnight and did home testing now I have COVID

apparenlty a person needs to wait a few days after exposure to get a positive result as Wednesday I was not positive

I notify my mom and she sayd that means I have to stay in for five days. I say Yes.

BUT HOW WILL I GET THE STUFF I NEED DONE?

I tell her she has another son in the area who typically doesnt help much but she will have to talk to him

THen she engages me in nonsensical converations and questions that dont matter, I said I am sick, my head is bursing, and I do not have the stomach for this now

SHe insists she needs to know

I say no you dont, goodbye

Even her, I dont think she would have been this self centered maybe five years ago

Also selfish, but his takes it to new heights

When I say I tested positive for Covid, she doesnt say I hope you get better fast, I hope it is not too bad, but WHAT ABOUT ME?
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CTTN55 Aug 2023
You're supposed to stay isolated for 5 days and then mask appropriately for another 5 or until one tests negative on an antigen test twice.

She gave you covid. Are you going to take Paxlovid?

I'd back off from helping her from now on. Let her ask her son! She gave you covid as a gift -- gift her right back by disengaging from her.
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Karsten,

Geeeeez, if you have Covid now, don’t even be concerned about anything else except taking care of yourself.

Let the staff at her facility help her with whatever she needs. If they can’t assist her, oh well, too bad.

You certainly don’t need this aggravation!

Don’t answer your phone! Let it go to voicemail.

I’m so sorry that your mom is such a pain in the a**!

Take care.
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she had cold type symptoms the other day, not bad, but since she is 92 thought i would bring her in. They did a test which came out positive.

But has not been bad since. We talked with a covid doctor on the phone today to see about Plaxovid which we decided against, all my mom wanted to talk to was her sore back

I am pretty sure it is time to end indy living but question is what next? I am afraid she would drive MC of AL care nuts.

Of course she does not treat others as bad as me. I took her and a friend of hers from her indy building to a birthday party the other day. When I dropped off her friend, she said to me she and others in building get annoyed by her, but when she witnesses how she treats me, it is a whole new level, so maybe she would not be as mean to MC or AL
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NeedHelpWithMom Aug 2023
They never treat other people as badly as their family members.

My husband’s grandmother was extremely mean, not the words that I would choose to say, but I am choosing to be polite on the forum. LOL 😝

My grandmother in law was so sweet to others that everyone thought she was just wonderful, the sweetest old lady. Until, they got to know her and see her true colors!

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Karsten,

I am glad that you aren’t jumping when your mom is asking you to. Go see your mom when you feel like it is appropriate.

How sad that she doesn’t care if you get Covid.

Assisted living facilities are filled with people like your mom. Speak to assisted living and memory care facilities and see which ones are the best fit for your mom’s needs.

Best wishes to you and your family.
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If she is asymptomatic, how did she know to take a covid test?
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Well, you know the empathy and judgement goes out the window with the AD. It's tough because it would be so nice for them to be able to express those feelings. (And there could be a bit of covid brain fog.)

What about med adjustment to handle the challenging behaviors?

Food for thought, maybe she's progressed to the point where everyday independent living is beyond what she can handle and it's creating more confusion for her & exacerbating her behaviors. Good luck!
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