It affects his legs and he is now fighting arthritis in his shoulder, hip and knee. I can't help him up when he falls. His legs are stiff. He is 70 yrs old and his health is really going down fast. He doesn't want to live in a nursing home, but I am having trouble getting him up and out of bed. Where can I find info for help modify our house for the handicap? I am retired and work 3 days a week and am afraid he will fall and hurt himself. I don't know if we would qualify for assistance, but can't afford to pay for it. Please let me know if there is anyplace I could get help.
Have you mentioned your difficulties to your local Doctor? Maybe get a referral for home Physio? A Home visit by an qualified OT may help too, with equipment to help. An electric bed to sit up, the right walking aid, grab rails in the right places etc. Maybe even a wheelchair.
Your town/council area may have a needs assessment service? See if any home help is available to you?
Wishing you strength for the road ahead.
It is time now to have the hard talk with husband. I hope there is other family support to help in this. It's important now that he be safely placed for his good as well as for yours, and so that you can remain his visiting loving companion and support.
See your husband's MD and discuss with him ASAP where you are in the caregiving cycle. Consider an appointment with an elder law attorney to discuss placement costs and division of assets for protection of funds you may require in future.
I cannot imagine enough in-home help to prevent his placement but you need solid help and advice now. I am so sorry for you both.
In addition to putting grab bars everywhere, surrounds to hold on to around the toilet (I got the materials on Amazon), an OT from the Visiting Nurses Service got him a portable commode through Medicare, so he doesn' t have to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night. In addition to providing in-home nursing care, the VNA (The Visiting Nurses Association) provides OT and PT in the home. Perhaps your PC doctor could write a prescription for the VNA to visit. (I got the VNA through a Hematologist, because my husband needed infusions of Retocrit to deal with a red blood problem). I think Medicare pays for the VNA's visits, but Im not sure if it's Medicare or insurance).
I know how overwhelmed you must feel. My husband went from driving a car at 96 to complete immobility during the Pandemic, and also had a small stroke which impaired his vision. It feels overwhelming when you view the entire litany of problems that need addressing, but it really can be resolved one issue at a time. The important thing is to get HELP!!!!! And don't get overwhelmed. Take it one day at a time.
Good Luck, and take care of yourself as well....
I so hope that he has gotten some help prior. The problem with Baby boomers, the help was not there when we were growing up. There was not help for parents. I often wonder how some of the "challenged" children then would be now if they had gotten the help children get now. My DH was hard of hearing from 4 up. He got no help or sympathy from the school system then. He had one counselor make him take an IQ test 3x because he thought my DH wasn't that intellegent. He showed that counselor by being an honor student.
Maybe some physical therapy would help ur husband.
In NY, it was a tri-county nonprofit. He’s also worked with a different branch, here in Florida.
Try googling them.
2. Contact CP foundations, see what assistance programs if any they offer
3. If he is a veteran, contact VA ; they should have some in home assistant financial help
" Aid & assistance"
4. Contact community/ local senior " day care" services: they may be able to have him come to " Senior Day Care" ....
this would potentially help you both when working and on your days not working the could still go to give you a break if you both agree.
5. Talk with PCP to get referral for medical alert systems ( like seniors wear ) to alert 911 or appropriate parties if when he falls or has other medical emergency.
6. If you are at home and he falls, usually local fire department will come at no charge and assist lifting the person who has fallen back into chair or bed ; or they can call other 911 services if needed.
7. Some senior agencies have financial assistance programs for certain number hours a week.....programs vary so you would need to learn about these......a capable Social Worker should know what is available.
8. And, last but not least, he may not " want to be in a facility" but sooner or later you may be facing this decision for safety reasons......
Remember to get self care for yourself..... practice self care....and be sure all POA paperwork is signed and in place designating you ( or whoever) is going to have authority to make decisions for him if/ when day comes.... Also for yourself.....
Who will provide care for him if you get sick, injured or are not available???
Making hard decisions like different living arrangements,
may be best done while you are able also.
HOWEVER, you really need somebody with him that can manage his physical needs. Since you can not lift him, there are a couple of routes to go:
Hire home health aides who can help with his care and are able to lift him. They will need to be there when he is usually out of the bed - about 14 hours daily.
Get him into an Adult Day Program (usually Monday Friday during work hours) to care for his needs. Check nursing homes and local businesses. You will also need home health aides for the weekends and the evenings.
Full time residential care. If you can not afford either of the above, then he needs to move into a full time residential facility. Not to be mean but safety needs to be considered above desire.
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