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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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When it comes to baths/showers for someone who is older, it is like going to the gym for a work out. It can be very exhausting. Especially if one has memory issues, and/or mobility issues, etc. There are times I wish I could just set up the outside sprinkler and run through it a few times :P
Another thing, some seniors become claustrophobic when in a shower. If there are glass doors. I know for myself, I need to keep the far door open a couple of feet. Sitting in the tub works but it is a major chore getting in to sit down, and more so trying to get up.
Then there is the fear of falling. If your love one is using a moisturizing liquid soap and/or hair conditioners, it will make the floor of the tub/shower feel like an ice rink, even with a tub mat inside.
A parent doesn't need to shower daily, twice a week or once a week is good enough, unless they are doing hard labor. If a parent is a Depends wearer, baby wipes work quite well between showers. Recently I found a product called “Water Wipes” in the baby section, quite pleased with the wipes.
"We just [got] confirmation of Alzheimer’s diagnosis for my father in law. He’ll need 24 hour care and I want to be able to give that to him at my house. I just don’t know how to do that or who to call."
When interacting with a LO with dementia/ALZ the rules of engagement change:
1) Agree, do not argue
2) Divert, do not attempt to reason
3) Distract, do not shame
4) Reassure, do not lecture
5) Reminisce, do not ask “Do you remember…?”
6) Repeat, do not say “I told you”
7) Do what they can do, don’t say “you can’t”
8) Ask, do not demand
9) Encourage, do not condescend
10) Reinforce, never force
(I didn't create this list but find it very helpful and still need to refer back to it).
For my 99-yr old aunt we found a neighbor who is qualified to give her a shower 2x a week. Sometimes a person with dementia/ALZ behaves better for a 'stranger' ("showboating"). Your dad may not feel comfortable having his child bathe him, but you can try using "therapeutic fibs" to incentivize him, "We're having a visitor today and we need to look our best" etc. something you think might motivate him.
I'm hoping you are looking for a ALZ support group in your area, something more personal than this global forum. There is much to know about what dementia does to our LOs, how it changes them, why they now say and do weird/disturbing things and how to react (or not) to them, what to expect as they move through phases of the disease. I've learned a lot from Teepa Snow videos on YouTube. She's an expert who promotes Positive Caregiving and creates awareness. Bless you for wanting to provide hands-on care in your home but you must go into it with your eyes wide open. Burnout is a real and dangerous outcome if you don't stay flexible when seeking solutions. Hopefully your LO has all his legal ducks in a row, like assigning you as DPoA, Living Will, etc. and that whoever is managing his financial affairs has a comprehensive idea of his resources so that planning can be made easier.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Another thing, some seniors become claustrophobic when in a shower. If there are glass doors. I know for myself, I need to keep the far door open a couple of feet. Sitting in the tub works but it is a major chore getting in to sit down, and more so trying to get up.
Then there is the fear of falling. If your love one is using a moisturizing liquid soap and/or hair conditioners, it will make the floor of the tub/shower feel like an ice rink, even with a tub mat inside.
A parent doesn't need to shower daily, twice a week or once a week is good enough, unless they are doing hard labor. If a parent is a Depends wearer, baby wipes work quite well between showers. Recently I found a product called “Water Wipes” in the baby section, quite pleased with the wipes.
Let that sink in.
You can keep fighting it, keep fighting him or accept it & hire a personal care aide 2 x week instead.
"We just [got] confirmation of Alzheimer’s diagnosis for my father in law. He’ll need 24 hour care and I want to be able to give that to him at my house. I just don’t know how to do that or who to call."
When interacting with a LO with dementia/ALZ the rules of engagement change:
1) Agree, do not argue
2) Divert, do not attempt to reason
3) Distract, do not shame
4) Reassure, do not lecture
5) Reminisce, do not ask “Do you remember…?”
6) Repeat, do not say “I told you”
7) Do what they can do, don’t say “you can’t”
8) Ask, do not demand
9) Encourage, do not condescend
10) Reinforce, never force
(I didn't create this list but find it very helpful and still need to refer back to it).
For my 99-yr old aunt we found a neighbor who is qualified to give her a shower 2x a week. Sometimes a person with dementia/ALZ behaves better for a 'stranger' ("showboating"). Your dad may not feel comfortable having his child bathe him, but you can try using "therapeutic fibs" to incentivize him, "We're having a visitor today and we need to look our best" etc. something you think might motivate him.
I'm hoping you are looking for a ALZ support group in your area, something more personal than this global forum. There is much to know about what dementia does to our LOs, how it changes them, why they now say and do weird/disturbing things and how to react (or not) to them, what to expect as they move through phases of the disease. I've learned a lot from Teepa Snow videos on YouTube. She's an expert who promotes Positive Caregiving and creates awareness. Bless you for wanting to provide hands-on care in your home but you must go into it with your eyes wide open. Burnout is a real and dangerous outcome if you don't stay flexible when seeking solutions. Hopefully your LO has all his legal ducks in a row, like assigning you as DPoA, Living Will, etc. and that whoever is managing his financial affairs has a comprehensive idea of his resources so that planning can be made easier.