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Hi all,
I just found this site and am so glad that I did. I was very recently cast into the caregiver role for my 71 year-old mother who had been hospitalized for 3.5 months before being discharged into my care. She has been through a lot, both physically and mentally (pneumonia, TIA, URI, and confirmed dementia). I believe that, on top of everything else, she also suffered from "institutional delirium, " which from what I've read and been told, is quite common for an aging person with a history mental health problems (of which she definitely has), who've been hospitalized for extended periods of time. So once she was cleared to be discharged, she pleaded with me to not make her go to rehab from the hospital (despite the fact that she really needed to). I just didn't have the heart to deny her request and agreed to care for her in my home. It's been only 5 days, and I'm on the brink of being completely overwhelmed. Due to being totally bedridden for 2 of the 3.5 months she was hospitalized, she has ZERO mobility. The plan is for her to work PT here at home and eventually regain muscle tone and strength, and hopefully at least some mobility. However, I cannot shake the feeling that she has no intention of "doing the work" and becoming mobile. Every time I try to encourage her to do very light exercises in bed, she responds with, "I can't," with the excuse that she's too tired or in too much pain. When the nurse comes to check on her, however, she's suddenly able to raise and bend her legs on request, with a smile. But when I'm trying to clean/change her diaper, she will not even attempt to help make it easier for me so I have to move her as best as I can (not easy moving a 180 lb woman's dead weight). I'm not going to be able to continue pretending that I can manage doing all this, especially the diaper changing. Twice yesterday and once today, my eyes filled with tears as I tried to hold back my vomit, and revulsion. I simply do not have the stomach for it any of it (not only poop but huge external hemorrhoids, and blood from the hemorrhoids. ) I have really tried but I just don't have the stomach for it. I know that I must speak up but I'm worried that she's going to be upset when she realizes that I asked someone to take over this chore that I dread literally 4-5 times a day. But now I think of it, I'm not sure it's even possible to get someone to come to our home 4 times a day just to change a diaper (?). Is that even a thing? I'm not sure, but I am sure that it's getting harder for me to manage. I've got to get help. A home health aide is set to come and tend to her once/week, but what am I to do about the other 6 days?
I'm overwhelmed and a little lost. Thanks for reading 🙂

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Call the hospital discharge planners and get her to rehab. Now!

She has dementia. Her reasoning abilities are shot. She is no longer a reliable determiner of what is best for her. She needs rehab.

"This is what the doctor says you need mom".

"Mom, I can't do this. My health and my back are getting ruined and I won't be a good advocate for you if I'm sick or dead".
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dlpandjep Feb 2020
I just love you Barb!  Thanks for the 😊
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My current patient has these same traits. I finally told her either (A) she's going to have to make an effort to help me turn her if she wants to get changed & stay in the comfort of her home being waited on nonstop. Or, (B) She could continue the behaviors & that if she's feels she's too weak, sick, etc for basic stretches and to help with turning, it's best she return to the hospital. I then left it up to her to decide. She chose the first option needless to say, in about two minutes. She still tries me, but the "either/or" approach is factual, clear, efficient and thus, effective every time.
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Absolutely what Barb says! I would also encourage you to segue her to a NH after rehab, especially if she doesn't get a lot better physically, and also because of the dementia. You think you're miserable now - wait till the dementia gets worse! I have a lot of empathy for you, as I find myself unable to do what you are doing, even for a child, without being sick; don't let it get to where you can't stand to get up in the morning.... (hugs)
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JoAnn29 Feb 2020
The kids didn't bother me but an adult...and she took iron pills which I think were the cause of the overwhelming smell. I don't know how my daughter did LPN/RN in rehab/NH facilities for 20 years. Yes, there were CNAs but if not available, my daughter went ahead and did it.
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Btw, there are definitely agencies who will indeed just come to change her, if you decide to keep her at home.
Best of luck xx
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Put her in a facility ASAP. She could easily live another 20 years.
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Is it just me, or was anyone else confused with the OPs name?

MidKid vs Midkid58?

AND Barb used a swear word a little more severe than the usual?!?

I feel like I’m in an alternate AC reality...

So confused...
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BarbBrooklyn Feb 2020
I meant SHOT!!!! Really! Look, I swear in real life, but not here!
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Oh Lord!!! I MEANT SHOT!!!!!!
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Geaton777 Feb 2020
tee hee!
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Barb SWORE?? And I missed it?????
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kdcm1011 Mar 2020
I know, me too!
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I'm going to be asking you a lot of questions...

1. Why was it YOU that gave in to her pleading? Do you have her POA/HCPOA? Or does your mother assume that YOU as the only daughter should be the one to be her caregiver?

2. Do you realize what could happen if you don't put your foot down and get her out of your house now? You will spend years at this. You will wreck your own financial future.

3. You're afraid to hire someone just to change her diapers because you're afraid it will UPSET her?!?!?!

You need to change the course of this train right now as it's leaving the station, before it becomes a runaway train. You need to get her out of your house NOW. And when she's done with rehab, don't take her in then, no matter what kind of pleading she does. She needs to go to rehab, and then possibly to a NH if she still needs that much assistance.

4. Why don't your brothers help? What is her attitude towards them? Towards you? Are they the golden children? Why did you accept her into your home? Why didn't they?

You are way too young (your mother is only 71) to give up on your own life the way you have. But the good news is that you now know it will NEVER work out to have her live with you. I had a similar realization when I moved in to take care of my mother after an illness. After just over a week, I was able to leave. That experience taught me that I would never do it again.

PLEASE don't wreck your mental and physical health and your financial future to give in to the unreasonable demands of this woman.

5. What are her finances? Can she afford a facility? If not, would she qualify for Medicaid? (PLEASE don't tell us that she's been giving large gifts of money to people!)

Tell us more, and keep us updated. We are concerned for YOU. YOU matter, more than your mother's "wants." (And make no mistake, they are her "wants.")
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Get your mother into rehab and tell her the reward for being able to walk out is an AL apartment. Return to your work and continue your life while being your mother's advocate, not her direct care giver.
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MidKid, you probably won't have an easy time hiring someone to come in a few times a day just to change her underpants and clean her up because this is low-pay part-time work and prevents paid caregivers from developing a client schedule that gives them enough hours to live on. I learned this from hiring an agency for my LOs. Better to hire someone for consistent hours for at least a few hours per day IF your mom has the financial means. If she doesn't you can call the county to get her assessed for in-home services. This is a temp situation until she can be moved to a permanent place. You will wreck your back trying to move her around. As Barb below suggested have her go to rehab and then have her go from there directly into a facility. If you do not have PoA for her you can have the county get guardianship for her and they will take care of her and then you both win. It's all hard but there are solutions, so hang in there -- let us know how it goes.
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Yuck. This is not a nice situation at all. I'm sorry that your mom convinced you to take her home with you. Obviously, there's much too much to be done by one person to care for one who refuses to be at all cooperative.

I agree with a few prior posts - give her an ultimatum - cooperate or you're OUT.

Or just put her in rehab, where she belongs and if/when she gets it together and can be more independent, MAYBE take her in. But ONLY if you REALLLLLY want to and her diaper issue is resolved.

Changing adult diapers is a line I am NOT willing to cross. When that, please no, happens to my mom, that's it. I'll be finding a placement for her ASAP. It's too gross, too hard, etc etc. I don't have the stomach for it.

You do NOT have to do anything you do not want to do. Some may call it selfish but I call it self preservation!!
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I think Medicare allows time between a hospital stay and going into rehab. Call the hospital and talk to the discharge person or Social Worker and tell them Mom is not doing what she promised to do. How do u get in in rehab. If this doesn't happen, then ask her PCP to order in home therapy. You will get an aide. Get as much time as you can. They will bathe Mom.

If Mom has no money, tell admitting this. Medicare only pays 100% for 20 days. 21 to 100 50%. Suppliment may pick up the difference if not, may cost Mom $150 or more a day. If so, she will need Medicaid to pay the balance. Let them keep her as long as they want. Maybe have her evaluated for LTC while in rehab. If she qualifies, start the application for Medicaid to pay for her care. Be aware, that her SS and any pension will also need to be used for her care. Where I live rehab/LTC are in the same building so transition from rehab to LTC is easy if a bed is available.
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[I've deleted quite a lot because newcomers to caregiving don't want or deserve harsh home truths. Warning - this will still sound harsh, but I can't help it].

You're worried that she's going to be upset...

Aren't you worried that her health will suffer because you don't know how to motivate her (you not being a trained physical therapist, and all that)? Aren't you worried that her primary caregiver (you) can't keep her clean without gagging? Aren't you worried that she is being looked after by someone (you again) whose response to seeing bleeding haemorrhoids is to be revolted?

Worry less about her being upset and more about your being manifestly unfit for purpose.

Go back to whoever handled the hospital discharge and find out how you retrace your steps. If you can't, there is no way to, then find out what you have to do to get your mother into short-term rehabilitation. Get It Done.
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anonymous1026199 Feb 2020
Country,
Well said. My motto is "I care about you enough for you to hate me right now or forever, if it means I have your best interest in mind and what I'm advising you to do can only help you". I refuse to enable those closest to me to continually self-sabotage on top of hurting others and taking advantage of them, unless I've had to (and yes, I've been put in situations where I just had to walk away for my own safety... literally). Otherwise, I'm not afraid to challenge, encourage, coach, cheer on, or speak honestly but with compassion, and ultimately, do what needs to be done in order to help someone get better.
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You really should contact her doctor and explain that you can not help her in her rehabilitation and she needs professional help. It might be possible to get her into a rehab facility. If not you could request that the doctor order home PT.
Mom needs to rehab properly or you will be in a more difficult spot.
If you really can not handle her safely then a permanent placement might be necessary. Either Assisted Living or if she has any form of dementia a Memory Care placement would be appropriate.
You can pay I should say Mom can pay for full time caregivers. They do not need to be CNA's or specially trained as long as they can safely care for your mom that is all that is necessary.
Actually 4 to 5 times a day is a bit on the low side. She should be moved or repositioned every 2 hours and her brief (I do not like the term diaper) should be checked at that time. What are you doing about showering? Are you doing that or is the HHA doing that 1 time a week? Minimum a shower should be done 2 times a week. Showering is a good time to check the full body for pressure sores.
From your description I think your mom would be much better off in a facility with people that have been trained to care for her. Then you do not have to worry about brief changes, bodily functions, all you have to be is her daughter and her advocate.
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You should not have taken her back home knowing that you could not handle it. Have her taken back to hospital & tell them there’s nobody to take care of her. Demand to have her placed in facility. Hugs 🤗
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Sadinroanokeva Feb 2020
Yup..go to an ER.then refuse to take her home..she will go to rehab..if she fails at rehab ..they will advise long term care! Save yourself!
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There is one MidKid58 and that's me (although it should be 63!) and one MidKid. This situation actually kind of was 'mine' for a bit.

Mom has had many, many, many surgeries. She insists she'll do PT at home, and she kind of does, if she thinks the PT coming is ''cute" but once left to her own devices and motivation, she puts the bands and weights away and returns to baseline, which after each successive surgery is lower than before.

She did do 6 weeks in a rehab facility after her hip replacement, not by choice and she was angry the whole time, and didn't rehab well from that. Went from walking quite well with a cane to needing a walker to walk 3 feet. She was discharged from the facility b/c she was NOT compliant nor making progress, so home she went.

Your mom NEEDS in house PT. You can't get her to clean herself up after a blowout, how can she possibly walk or do anything to care for herself!

My mom knows what happens if she winds up, diapered and immobile. YB will install a Hoyer lift in the ceiling of her bedroom and he will haul her up in the am, clean her up and "plop' her in a wheelchair. Problem is, the wheelchair can't fit through the door to her living room. She'd be stuck in the bedroom and kitchen.

I'm advocating for a NH now, but I'm the only sib who sees she needs more/better care.
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CarlaCB Feb 2020
Midkid58 - I was taken aback when I first read this posting, thinking "But Midkid isn't new to this forum, and her mother must be much older than 71. And how could she possibly take this on, when recovering from her own serious and draining illness?" I was so relieved to figure out that the poster was a different Midkid! Hope you are still doing well on the road to recovery!
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I am so sorry...I can not even imagine how horrible this task must be. I have to admit, as a caregiver of my mom, I would not and could not do that job. Your mom sounds like a nursing home candidate. I worked in geriatrics for 27 years and that is why many people were in long term care facilities...the inability to do their own daily care. Please know you would not be judged..save yourself!
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Judysai422 Feb 2020
Another thought is to have a hospice evaluation. If mom won't even cooperate with PT, she may not do enough work in rehab and they will just release her because Medicare won't pay if no progress is being made.
If mom can, but won't, the thought of being on hospice might shock her into the seriousness of the situation unless dementia is too far advanced.
Worth a shot.
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I would call the doctor and see if she still qualifies for inpatient rehab. If so go that route. Let your mom know once she graduates from this and is able to walk to the toilet safely she can return home. We used inpatient rehab each time my mom broke a bone and could not walk. If no breaks and she could stand and walk for me she then came home for home PT. Some in home care has 2 hr min care. You could coordinate that around changes, meals and have the care provider to laundry. I use help in the evenings depending on cost one girls agency is $20 an hr with a 4 hr min. The other is $25 per hour with a 2 hr min. Who I schedule depends on my needs and there skill proficiency. Wishing you the best.
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Same thing happened to me. MIL refused to help me with her care. I knew she was faking it so talked with Dr. and because she wasn't "able"
To NH, she went. She didn't like it, but I called her bluff. When she was finally "able" to come home, she was very helpful from that point on. Changing diapers is a horrible job but I put my mask and gloves on and wen't to work at it. It only takes a couple of minutes if you have all your wipes, diaper, garbage pail etc out. Good luck
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Sadinroanokeva Mar 2020
So interesting..My 86 yr old mother fakes with me...always unhappy, Can not make her bed, do her laundry, staggers around unsteady on her feet, cries when we are alone, can not take her own meds from a med box...needs them handed to her , is so “sad” she has moved to a retirement home..{independent} but when I visit unexpectedly she is laughing at lunch with her ladies , washing a load of laundry, walking steady down a hall or at an activity smiling!! I am now positive she puts on an act for me yet tells my brother only the “good” stuff! For the last few years people have looked at me like I am the crazy one...she looks good except when I am around..She is exhausting and my sympathy wears thin..sadly it makes me not want to visit..all I do is put fires out.. my brother gets the real mom!
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I am grateful to read that you know your limits, MidKid, so that your mom can get the help that she truly needs at this point in her recovery.

I have fallen into the pleas of my mom so I understand the poor decisions that can be made from listening to our emotions instead of our intellect. But the wondrous thing about being human is that I can identify the mistake and get into a solution.

Best wishes to your mom. I hope that she gets into a reputable rehab so that she can once again experience an enhanced quality of life. And may you lay down your guilt so that you can fill yourself with more positive emotions that sustain our physical and mental health.
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Frances73 Feb 2020
I like your answer. My Mom has dementia and is in AL. I’ll talk to her on the phone and she cries and says how lonely she is. Then I go visit her and have to wait while she finishes playing Bingo, or comes back from an excursion, etc. It makes me laugh at myself. I don’t regret our decision to place her there, she is safe, monitored, gets socialized, and I get to keep my sanity.
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I am caring for my 99 yo Mom and I feel your pain. When she was hospitalized for surgery I insisted that she go to rehab until she was able to at least move about with a walker. Unfortunately she only lasted 5 days in the rehab center, their issues, not hers. However, she had been up and moving enough that I was able to handle her at home. She is able to get to the toilet but I have to help pulling down her pants and Depend.
Take a stand, rehab will make a world of difference. You cannot allow guilt to dictate not only what is best for her, but for you as well. She is a relatively young woman! Being able to be mobile enough to get to the bathroom will make a world of difference for both of you.
Good luck.
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You are not likely to find anyone to come in a few times a day to change diapers. Health Care aides generally have minimum shifts of 3 or 4 hours at a time. You would have to hire someone for the whole day.
Getting your mother into rehab if she is still eligible would be a good idea. The incentive for her to work at the rehab is that she cannot come home until she can get to the toilet herself.
You don't need to pretend you can do this part of caretaking when you know you cannot, but hiring someone is going to be costly..
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I don't have anything of substance to add - just that all these responses are so on target from my experience with my mom in an assisted living community. OP, I hope you are able to take action on some of these suggestions - they are on the mark.
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I think you may need to have a heart to heart with your mom. Tell her how you can not care for her at home if she doesn't try to help: exercising several times a day, helping you change her diapers, getting out of bed and into a chair for most of the day... Explain that you are not physically able to roll her when she doesn't help and her lying around will make her weaker than she already is. If it were me, I would give her a deadline to show improvement... or you contact the doctor about a permanent nursing home placement.

Meanwhile, try to get her to use the toilet every 2-3 hours. Try and get her to sit in a chair in the morning after breakfast, for a couple hours in the afternoon, and for a couple of hours in the evening before bed. If she is unable to perform these tasks, she will need round the clock care: either home health aides to assist you or placement into a residential facility.
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TouchMatters Mar 2020
Often impossible and unrealistic to have 'heart to heart' with person inflicted w a changing brain and who has been able to manipulate family member - lots of history goes into these interactions, both ways. Best to do what is necessary for all parties concerned - and then have the heart-to-heart [listen, agree, show compassion] when everything in place. The care provider / family member needs to take control, esp when their own mental and physical health (quality of life) is severely challenged. Family members deserve to have a life, too - and often making these changes is extremely difficult (guilt, family patterns in place for decades, affected self-esteem), although necessary.
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I don’t know what your financial situation is, but you might be able to hire a home health aide or person. They might request a minimum number of hours there though, not sure. Does Moms insurance allow for help at home? I’d sure check. You might find someone or a couple people through your church who could come and do changes or help care for a period of time? When my brother and I could no longer care for my folks at home we put them in assisted living. That worked well, but you want to keep checking in to see everything is ok. My dads now in memory care b/c his needs are much greater. It’s been a great fit, but it’s a bit pricey. Good luck, I hope you can find some help!
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I hear you loud and clear. Your mom really does need to be in rehab. My mom responds much better to the professional physical therapists than she does me.
If she doesn’t show improvement in rehab it would probably be time to decide on long term care.
I know we feel like failures when we can’t take care of our moms with a pure heart. But in order to save your relationship with her you clearly need the extra help.
my 80 yr old mom can still toilet her self but there are still many tasks that I’m finding myself resenting. I’ve been living with her for 9 months and really feeling the burn out. She had a few falls and was in rehab when she begged me to move in with her last year.
Your question about hiring a diaper changer is a good one. Seems like someone could start a mobile service like Uber. You call them and they show up and do the deed. Medicare should cover it.
Prayers to you. Hang in there.
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Frances73 Feb 2020
We hired Visiting Angels to deal with my father. You have to pay them for 2 hour increments (it was $25 an hour in 2017) to make it worth their time to come. They also did light housekeeping, laundry, and helped get dad in and out of bed.
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As a retired psychotherapist, I would like to suggest that your mother is engaging in passive aggressive behavior. Not only is she manipulating you (much like the wide eyed 3 year old that NEEDS the candy), but the "inability" to participate physically in helping you help her is classic. The only stop to this is what the others have suggested. Unfortunately, you took her at discharge. Unless rules have changed, to get her into rehab or nursing home requires private pay. Medicare has some screwed up rules about paying for these placements. Call the hospital's discharge planner or the admitting nurse (or social worker) at the rehab or nursing home. See if there's a work around. If not, then it's private pay or (and I know this sounds horrible) or wait until she has skin breakdown (decubitus ulcers) from urine/feces contact. You are not trained to deal with these issues, and without her assistance in rolling over, etc. they WILL happen. Then it's off to the hospital (or even just the ER) and THEN straight to a nursing home for care and physical therapy.
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To retire from that duty for a patient you are caring for, you'll need to hire outside help to come in and handle the daily living tasks. No other way around that. You will be stuck with the job 24/7 without outside help. Even 4-5 hrs a day will get you through some of it, but not all of it.

She really should have gone to rehab to work on her physical improvement especially since she responds to them better. You might stay in the room while she has PT and discuss how well she does for them. Next time you ask her to help with the bathroom issues or exercise - you might say since she does so much better for the professionals it might be better for her to get the rehab at a professional place. The problem is going to be moving from home to rehab -- highly unlikely unless you have the money to pay. Always easier to go from hosp to rehab.

Toileting and exercise can be covered at the rehab. Maybe just have an honest conversation with her and tell her she was not ready to be at home. Then ask dr about process to get her in rehab
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Even with mental illness, this reminds me that people should make every effort to stay physically fit and remain mobile as long as possible. The prevalence of sedentary, unnatural office jobs and health insurance as a security blanket doesn't help.

"Showtiming" to look more fit when outsiders arrive seems common, and those who do it need to be called out. Compassion has limits when people inflict things on themselves (like smoking) or don't put out effort they're capable of.

The psychology of "I raised you, so you owe me this" also isn't fair, especially with the size of a diapered baby vs. an immobile adult.
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