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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I would think that when someone talks they want confirmation that someone had heard what they said... I would just go along with what she is saying.... if Mom becomes stuck on one thing, try to redirect your Mom to something else... like if you see something outside or on TV, let her also see it.
she is getting over a uti but we've been through that before. This is i guess dementia but she is ornery and argues with me about everything. For instance, we have a kitten in the house because her cat got old when she was in her own home so we kept this one in for her. She says there are other cats in the house no matter how many times we tell her there is only one. She told a big fish story the other day and a while ago she said she pulled a big snake out of the pool the other day when she was outside. We live in AR and it's cold. I can't hardly keep from arguing with her. It is so frustrating. My grandchildren live with us and they laugh at her when she tells these windys. I sometime wonder if she is just playing us and really knows what she's saying. She also said they were drilling an oil well in our yard. Where do they get all this stuff.
Hallucinations and wild stories are not general old age decline. She should be evaluated by a medical professional.
Meanwhile, try very hard not to argue with her. She is in her own reality and you cannot reason that away. "I took a snake out of the pool yesterday." "Oh, how brave of you! What did you do with it?" "Where are all the other cats?" "They like to hide all over the house."
You are not going to convince her that the snake wasn't real or that there is only one cat. Save your breath. Save her irritation.
This is an opportunity to teach your grandchildren about mental illness, that greatgran can't help her weird stories, and it is OK to laugh at funny stuff, but not to be disrespectful.
I hope this behavior eases up as the uti is fully cleared up, but she needs to be seen and treated by professionals.
Check medications with PCP, pharmacist and/or neurologist. We found 4 meds (including oxybutinin and pepcid) all have problems with hallucinations and altered thinking. Pain meds can be a real issue too...we had to ban Lyrica, gabbapentin and neurontin as well.
Then have her evaluated by a memory group to find out if she is really in need of intervention.
I agree about the "not arguing" suggestion. I find this difficult myself but I am trying to do better. Deflect "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "Wow, You have really done a great deal in your life" or similar which can give affirmation without agreeing with an un-truth.
Many kids tell whoppers in the 4 or 5 Year old range...perhaps that is an indication of where your mom is at right now.
My favorite redirect when Mom asks about where my sisters are, she thinks we are all still young, is to tell her they are on vacation and will be back tomorrow. Mom worries and obsesses about them often. I guess just little old me is not good enough for her.
My mother makes up things all the time. She is better now than she was. For a few years she told tales, recreating history. Most of her stories had a grain of truth, but the rest was pure confabulation. My mother has dementia of an unspecified type. Most of her stories were harmless, so I didn't correct her. I only corrected her if it involved spending a lot of money or hurting someone's feelings. She grew out of her confabulatory stage and now doesn't talk much at all about things other than how she feels. It makes me kind of miss the old fish-tale days.
glasshalfull that is weird about the meds because mom is on gaberpentin and norotinin but has been for several years. I don't know if it matters how long they've been on them or not. I just figured it was senility at 97.
Donna, Gabapentin and Neurontin can wreak havoc if she is skipping some and doubling up other times. A real roller coaster. Call the MD and get bloodwork for the medication levels.
Jeanne nailed it - either there is something medically correctable, or not, either way making her fully grasp reality may not be critical if you can reassure and reduce any distress about what she thinks is going on. I think sometimes it is confabulation (the brain fills in missing details to make semi-coherent stories, or substitutes for totally missing sensory information) and sometimes it is not having the cognitive skills to distinguish dreams from reality.
Sometimes people imagine loved ones are stealing stuff or have bunches of other negative paranoid ideas that could cause real trouble, so cats and snakes and oil wells are not too bad. Hope things get better, and glad she has a caring family around her!
BTW - gabapentin and neurontin are the same drug. Make sure she isn't doubling up! My mom did that with her statin, and that may have contributed to the fall that ended her independent living. Some meds need dosages reduced with aging.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Meanwhile, try very hard not to argue with her. She is in her own reality and you cannot reason that away. "I took a snake out of the pool yesterday." "Oh, how brave of you! What did you do with it?" "Where are all the other cats?" "They like to hide all over the house."
You are not going to convince her that the snake wasn't real or that there is only one cat. Save your breath. Save her irritation.
This is an opportunity to teach your grandchildren about mental illness, that greatgran can't help her weird stories, and it is OK to laugh at funny stuff, but not to be disrespectful.
I hope this behavior eases up as the uti is fully cleared up, but she needs to be seen and treated by professionals.
Then have her evaluated by a memory group to find out if she is really in need of intervention.
I agree about the "not arguing" suggestion. I find this difficult myself but I am trying to do better. Deflect "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "Wow, You have really done a great deal in your life" or similar which can give affirmation without agreeing with an un-truth.
Many kids tell whoppers in the 4 or 5 Year old range...perhaps that is an indication of where your mom is at right now.
Stay strong!
Sometimes people imagine loved ones are stealing stuff or have bunches of other negative paranoid ideas that could cause real trouble, so cats and snakes and oil wells are not too bad. Hope things get better, and glad she has a caring family around her!