This is my first post. Please forgive me if I sound ridiculous. My mother who has undiagnosed dementia lives in AL. She wants to come to my house to make king cakes for a party at the facility. Enough for 60 residents and their families!! She won’t be able to do this. I refuse to do a marathon bake off. There are no bakeries in town and where we live Walmart doesn’t carry king cakes. I checked on line and the cost of ordering cakes is way out of line. She has always entertained and was very good at it. It was her time in the sun. Unfortunately now she she has forgotten how to cook and bake. In fact hadn’t cooked in a few years. When at home lived on sandwiches and cereal. I had her for dinner and she wanted to make the mashed potatoes. She couldn’t remember and it broke her heart. So what do I do?
I guess I am used to baking for 30 people (the whole family) and so making a couple of cakes wouldn't faze me--but these might be super special? IDK!
Do you have family who can help out? I am a little befuddled by this. No offense meant!
Tell her you're waiting for the serviceperson to show up to fix your broken stove. Here's the solution mom.
Good luck.
Then, repeat.
Keep your boundaries. You’ll get a LOT of practice! 🤣
See if you can Google the old TV show (Australian) Mother & Son. Episode: The Lamingtons.
It might give you a laugh.
I'll try to add a link.
https://youtu.be/e733UOD_NgM
See if you can Google the old TV show (Australian) of Mother & Son. Episode.: The Lamingtons.
It might give you a laugh 😜😅😭
I'll try to add a link.
1. I'm sorry my stove isn't working right now, and we're waiting on a part.
2. The facility won't allow king cakes because they don't want someone to choke on the little baby inside.(that one's probably true, and not a fiblet)
3. I just don't have the time in my schedule right now for all that baking, but why don't we go to the store and buy some cupcakes in Mardi Gras colors?
4. The facility said they would prefer little cupcakes that can just be picked up and they don't want to have to worry about having to slice up a cake and plate it.
You get the idea. Good luck.
Do you think the AL expects this? They don't, this is probably all Mom. Don't give her any excuses, just say "No Mom its not possible" Maybe talk to the Nurse and ask her to tell Mom there is no need for King Cakes.
Just thinking, yeast bread. You have to let it rise, punch it down, fill and form your circle, rise again and bake. Even one is a lot of work.
Also, if she has dementia, she should be in memory care not AL. They handle all the stuff AL does plus the parties and events, too. MC is a party every day if you pick the right one.
I would talk to the head nurse and tell them what your Mom wants to do. Maybe your Mom can contribute in a way that does not include food, or once you see the bigger picture, your Mom can decorate her own room for the celebration. Make sure that you clear it with the Head Nurse or Activities Director first, as you don't want to have your Mom do something that would get in the way of their plans.
To get your Mom on-board, after you know the options, then I would talk to Mom. It sounds like you have a good relation with her. If she gets all "huffy" about it, then offer to make an appointment for you, her and whomever is best to discuss this with her from the facility so that she can see that you are not bluffing.
If she uses a walker or a wheelchair, decorating the walker or wheelchair is a something you can do to celebrate the day. On the other hand, if you really don't want to do anything, then just own the decision and tell your Mom that you don't want to do anything.
1 King cake made by you and mom.
Order a pastry or even a cake and have it decorated with Purple, Gold and Green. That can be cut and served to the residents.
Tell mom that due to Health Department regulations foods made in an un approved, un inspected kitchen can not be served at the facility to residents and their families.
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/8144/mardi-gras-king-cake/
As it turns out, you can buy just about anything online. Here is a place that sells pre baked king cakes with icing kits that one uses to decorate the cakes oneself. (I’m guessing that decorated cakes don’t ship well.)
If Mom has $150 to burn, they’ll ship you six cakes to give 90-120 portions.
https://gambinos.com/shop/king-cakes
Decorating sounds much easier than baking, but the original poster will have to be the judge as to whether it would be fun or frustrating. It looks like each cake has a bag of frosting and three little tubs of color. Would she be content to decorate one and delegate the other five?
If it sounds like a good idea, I imagine one could arrange to have the “baby” shipped with the order rather than baked in.
And verify that the AL will accept the cake. It would be commercially baked and probably best decorated at the AL. Would they charge a fee to serve it?
Order one from Haydel’s bakery. They are my favorite!
I send them to my out of town relatives that use to live here in New Orleans.
There are NO ridiculous questions, seriously.
Since you seem to be at the beginning of this journey with your mom and since you are the one doing the "heavy lifting", let me point out that is good to remind yourself that you won't always be able to make your mom happy, that "no" is always an okay answer and that sometimes there is no "good" solution to these problems, only the least bad one.
If there is an activities director at the AL, have a chat with her/him and let them know that entertaining was mom's forte. They should be able to tap into the stuff the CAN do and give mom a place to shine. That's THEIR job.
We are in "somber mode" on this board right now; we have two long time posters, both with difficult moms, who are facing dreadful, life-limiting diagnoses of their own. Remember that we are none of us promised long lives or years of retirement.
((((Hugs)))).
For me, I bake. So for Christmas I made up a large tray of cookies and took them in. The Nurse put them in the lunch room.
I take it back. I wouldn't go to all that work for a cake for 60+ people.
And yep, putting 'trinkets' in a cake for lderly people is asking for trouble. Choking or breaking teeth.
You can buy King Cake from certain places without a baby. It’s included but not inserted into the cake.
Not everything can be fixed and some things just have to be acknowledged as something you cannot do anymore.
If your Mom is able to come to your own home without it causing her to be upset afterward, with it being a nice day, and you can find a recipe, then have her come over and you cook dinner for the family and help her make the cake.
Compromise is often the best we get in life.
Has to be heartbreaking, and I am so sorry.
I love Caluda’s King Cake! Yummy!
I have friends who still talk about King Cakes from their childhood days from McKenzie’s bakery! LOL 😆
My oldest daughter shops at the Whole Foods store on Broad St. I miss the smaller Whole Foods store that was on Esplanade Ave.
Do you buy the stuffed King Cake with cream cheese or are you a purist and buy plain? I like both!
In retrospect it worked out better than doing a King Cake ever would be as a KC be too much sugar for some residents and staff. Plus the bite on the baby hazard & KC can be sticky messy. Plus requires work on staff part to cut and serve. Plus with beads = jewelry and who doesn’t want jewelry! If your mom knows KC, she knows beads. You probably have a stash of beads and go cups at home already. I bet you have 100 beads around the house, enough for all the residents plus staff. If not parades have already started! If not, I bet you can bring her some beads with a king cake medallion on it & she will be Throw Me Something Mister oh so happy!
I send King Cakes to my out of town relatives. Yeah, the beads are included in the packaging. If we had a dollar for all of the beads we have caught throughout our lives we would have a ton of extra cash! 😊
I don’t know how old that you are. I am 67. I remember when the beads were made of glass! Oh my gosh, they would break and glass beads would be everywhere.
We would melt the glass beads in the oven as kids and make things out of them. It smelled awful! I don’t know how my mom let us do that! LOL
We dressed up in the most fantastic costumes for Mardi Gras because my mom was an excellent seamstress.
We would attend Rex, then stay for the trucks and even stay for Comus that evening. Perfectly normal as a kid growing up in New Orleans, right?
Next time mom wants you to do something you just dont have the energy or time to do it will be easier to say no.
Okay, technically y’all did start Mardi Gras. We took the idea and kicked it up several notches!
I haven’t ever done Mardi Gras in Mobile. I agree with you on the music! We have fantastic marching bands and our city is well known for its musical talent.
Have you ever been to New Orleans for our Mardi Gras? It’s changed a lot since I was young. We have the super krewes now. Bacchus and Endymion parades are my favorites. We have Rex on Mardi Gras day. The evening parade, Comus doesn’t roll anymore.
I don’t go to any of the parades in the burbs. They don’t have the same New Orleans vibe.
Some locals who wish to get away for carnival season leave town. Many go skiing and have parades on skis in Vail. LOL
I haven’t been to Mobile in ages. We have stopped there on the way back from Pensacola. I keep saying that I want to stop and see Bellinggrath Gardens. I saw it on Victory Gardens. It looks like a wonderful botanical garden to visit. Have you been?
I know that Florida closed their greyhound racing tracks. We adopted a grey many years ago and he was the sweetest dog ever. He lived to be 13 years old.
Mobile still has a lot of tracks open, right?
Great idea about the decorations & baby. I love it!