I have been arrested because I called the police to help me when my mother became violent. I explained she has dementia and I need some guidance on who can help me and they talk to her she tells a untrue story saying I beat on her (I am the one thats with her so I am the one always lying and stealing and other horrible things) she seems normal to the police so they believe her and I go to jail. Now I have an order of protection and can't even check on her. I am lost.
So who's responsible for her care? Can you find that out?
If nobody is, you'd better write down an account of the last few years, since you first noticed her illness, and formally submit it to APS. If it's on record and in writing and they still do nothing, at least it won't be for want of your trying.
I would say, and get better advice. But actually, since that lawyer is also the one who's familiar with the back story and pointed you in the direction that's got you to here... go back to that lawyer and say "what now?" Try your best not to say "what now, smartass?"
"The last time we went to court i was told it would not be dropped because thats a liability to the state and just agree to this because it will disappear in a year "
What will "disappear in a year"? Were you supposed to stay away from your mother, and yet you went to her house anyway?
I'm confused.
I think I would call Adult Protection Services. Explain that you have been trying to care for your mother and that you think she has dementia. You don't wish to abandon her but there is not much you can do since she has an order of protection. Ask if they could periodically do well checks on her.
What are the symptoms that lead you to conclude she has dementia? How long has this been going on? Who else has seen these symptoms? She obviously can "show time" for the police, which is not uncommon.
It varies by location and policy and training, but in general police are very poorly equipped to deal with any kind of mental illness.