My dad is 82 yo with dementia that lives with me and I may need to take him to the ER tomorrow for constipation if it doesn't resolve by then. My dad YELLS during every ER visit. Tells me every 5 mins to get a doctor when we all know it will be at least 3 hours before we are called in. I have had several breakdowns during ER visits, especially during covid when he had to wear a mask. I have tried walking him around outside but then he gets mad that they may call us. I try getting him to watch TV or read magazines. Nothing helps. I totally understand he's feeling awful, but so do the other 20+ people in the waiting room and I get tired of being his punching bag. My anxiety about taking him to the ER makes me want to just call 911 instead, but of course I don't want to waste an ambulance for constipation. Does anyone out there have any suggestions for me? Thank you!
You’re in a beautiful city. I love San Diego! It’s been several years since I have been there.
Every time I go there, I never want to leave the lower humidity. We have horribly hot and humid summers here in New Orleans!
(((Hugs)))
I read your profile. You caregive for 3 people! And you work!
:(
And your dad yells at you.
:(
(He’ll never change. He’ll get worse)
Regarding ER tomorrow, you already know how he’ll behave. No matter what you do (yell back, try to reason with him…), it won’t work. He won’t change. You’re his favorite target.
Maybe do call 911? This way for once, you’re not the one going to ER and going through all the stress, and being a punching bag?
I wish your parents could hire caregivers.
(((Hug)))
No, you can't afford to lose your job. How/why did you move your parents and brother in with you 2 years ago? Are you the only other sib?
Have you considered placing your father at least in a facility?
Driving your father to the ER could be dangerous for you. Call 911. And who says you have to go there and sit with him the whole time? Has he been declared incompetent?
I guess no one has told me I had to sit with him a the ER, but I can't imagine leaving him there either. He wouldn't be able to hear them call his name and he has tried standing while waiting before and he is fall risk. They don't exactly monitor the waiting room.
Eventually, same with ur disabled sibling unless u want to care for him the rest of your life. I oversee a disabled nephew. It takes a while but there are resources out their your parents probably did not take advantage of.
If you leave him there by himself will he just walk out?
Might be time to make some hard decisions, somethings gotta give!
Sending support your way!
So, why put yourself through the misery of taking him to the ER?
Call for an ambulance to take him.
Best wishes to you and your family.
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