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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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My wife of 63 years has been diagnosed with MCI , I’m her full time caregiver. I’m happy with that role but often have to correct or should I say suggest when she forgets normal activities and do this without causing tension.
Nick, whatever you do, don't argue with her when she doesn't get something right or forgets how to do something, as your wife's brain is now broken and will never get better only worse, and she can't help it. You have to now be the brain for the two of you. And you do it with gentleness, kindness, and love, just how you would want someone to treat you if your brain was broken. And of course there will be times that you have to say "no" if it means keeping your wife safe and out of harms way. You will learn as you take this very difficult journey with your wife what she responds best to and what she does not. And don't forget that as this horrific disease progresses that the woman you married is still in there somewhere, even if you don't get to see her much anymore. Please make sure that you're taking good care of yourself, as you matter too in this equation. You do not want to be in this alarming statistic of 40% of caregivers caring for someone with dementia who will die before the one they're caring for from stress related issues do you? Self care is that important. So make sure you're asking for help, taking some get away breaks and if and when your wife's care gets to be too much for you, that you get her placed in the best facility you can afford. I wish you well as you walk this difficult journey with your wife.
1) keep them as calm and peaceful as possible (because they are less and less able (and eventually totally unable) to bring themselves to this state on their own). Meds may be needed to help with this.
2) keep them physically protected in their environment and from predatory people.
3) keep them nourished with healthy foods that they will accept without fighting or forcing.
4) keep them in as good a health condition as is possible, that their financial resources will allow and within their desires as expressed in a Living Will (aka Advance Healthcare Directive).
5) keep them pain-free as possible and within their desires as expressed in a Living Will (aka Advance Healthcare Directive).
The caregiving arrangement needs to work for both the receiver and the giver. If it is onerous to the caregiver, then the arrangement is NOT working. Alternative types of care must be considered to avoid caregiver burnout.
I learned a lot from watching Teepa Snow videos on YouTube. She's an expert on dementia and caregiving and has excellent educating videos to teach you strategies that will lead to more peaceful and productive interactions with your wife.
You "go with the flow" If she forgets something you can gently cue her. You can ignore what she forgot (if it really is not important) Don't argue. You will never win an argument with a person that has dementia. An argument will upset both of you and can make her more agitated.
If there is an Adult Day Program in your area get her involved. It will give you a break, it will give her a break and it will get her engaged in activities. If there is no Day Program get a caregiver to come in at least 2 times a week. That way she gets used to someone else helping, you get a chance to get out and get some things done and this also gives you a break from caregiving.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You have to now be the brain for the two of you. And you do it with gentleness, kindness, and love, just how you would want someone to treat you if your brain was broken.
And of course there will be times that you have to say "no" if it means keeping your wife safe and out of harms way.
You will learn as you take this very difficult journey with your wife what she responds best to and what she does not.
And don't forget that as this horrific disease progresses that the woman you married is still in there somewhere, even if you don't get to see her much anymore.
Please make sure that you're taking good care of yourself, as you matter too in this equation. You do not want to be in this alarming statistic of 40% of caregivers caring for someone with dementia who will die before the one they're caring for from stress related issues do you? Self care is that important.
So make sure you're asking for help, taking some get away breaks and if and when your wife's care gets to be too much for you, that you get her placed in the best facility you can afford.
I wish you well as you walk this difficult journey with your wife.
1) Agree, do not argue
2) Divert, do not attempt to reason
3) Distract, do not shame
4) Reassure, do not lecture
5) Reminisce, do not ask “Do you remember…?”
6) Repeat, do not say “I told you”
7) Do what they can do, don’t say “you can’t”
8) Ask, do not demand
9) Encourage, do not condescend
10) Reinforce, never force
The overall goals should be to:
1) keep them as calm and peaceful as possible
(because they are less and less able (and eventually totally unable) to bring themselves to this state on their own). Meds may be needed to help with this.
2) keep them physically protected in their environment and from predatory people.
3) keep them nourished with healthy foods that they will accept without fighting or forcing.
4) keep them in as good a health condition as is possible, that their financial resources will allow and within their desires as expressed in a Living Will (aka Advance Healthcare Directive).
5) keep them pain-free as possible and within their desires as expressed in a Living Will (aka Advance Healthcare Directive).
The caregiving arrangement needs to work for both the receiver and the giver. If it is onerous to the caregiver, then the arrangement is NOT working. Alternative types of care must be considered to avoid caregiver burnout.
I learned a lot from watching Teepa Snow videos on YouTube. She's an expert on dementia and caregiving and has excellent educating videos to teach you strategies that will lead to more peaceful and productive interactions with your wife.
If she forgets something you can gently cue her.
You can ignore what she forgot (if it really is not important)
Don't argue. You will never win an argument with a person that has dementia.
An argument will upset both of you and can make her more agitated.
If there is an Adult Day Program in your area get her involved. It will give you a break, it will give her a break and it will get her engaged in activities.
If there is no Day Program get a caregiver to come in at least 2 times a week. That way she gets used to someone else helping, you get a chance to get out and get some things done and this also gives you a break from caregiving.