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My wife is showing less ability to remain standing while I give her a shower or just wash the waste away with a cloth. It has been very easy to remove the soiled underwear, wash and replace with fresh while she stands. But , I don't see how to accomplish this cleanup without her upright. How are others providing caring for their loved ones in this situation?

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Is she still continent? A toilet seat bidet might be helpful, if you have never heard of them you can see demos on YouTube. My mom is incontinent but I am able to clean her up with a hand held sprayer that reaches the toilet, I have her scoot forward and then back enough to reach around her bum to wash. (I am lucky that our hand held shower can reach, but there are special hand held bidet sprayers too)
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Once an elderly person is too shaky on their feet to stand over the toilet to be cleaned up the natural progression is to do the clean up in bed. Make sure you protect the linens so you don't have to change them all the time. You can buy disposable sheets to lay down on top of the linens. Keep 1 or 2 on there at all times and replace as necessary. Have your loved one lay flat and then roll her from side to side as you clean and change her. As you become more proficient at this technique she won't have to roll as much.

cwillie's idea of a bidet is a good idea too. It enables bathroom business to stay in the bathroom and that's very important to a lot of people. Your wife may be more comfortable in the bathroom while she gets cleaned up than in the bed.
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This has become our situation as well for the past 6 months or so. Mom has become unable to support herself on her feet at all. It takes two people now, one to support her dead weight while the other cleans and adjusts clothing. Mostly, it can be taken care of in bed but when she is out of bed, her brain still thinks she should go to the toilet. I can no longer take her if I'm here by myself and I can't get the Hoyer lift in the bathroom or, actually, even figure out how to use it for toileting even with a portable commode chair. Perhaps someone can help me with that? I don't have, nor need, full time aides except for the toilet issue.
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GIMA, there are special slings designed to be used for toileting that allow you to pull down/up their pants while they are in the sling, for a demo go to youtube and then search "toileting sling".
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