My mother is soon to go to Memory Care. It's a really nice place and I think she will be good there. I'm trying to figure out how I handle her petty cash finances for her. (I have POA.) I live a long distance from her and therefore cannot bop in daily/weekly with extra things she may need or want. I can order online of course. But if she goes on an excursion and wants to buy something. Does she keep cash in her wallet? A credit card? She has Alzheimer's and money is something she is fiercely protective of and suspicious about and her link to feeling in control. I'm sure they will help me there, but can anyone give us an idea?
Thanks!
My brother & I order whatever she needs from Amazon and everything else is billed to her account at the AL.
It's unreasonable to expect an elder suffering from Alz/dementia to keep money on them and to pay for anything! When mom insisted on having cash in her wallet, I gave her a $20 bill back in 2019 when she moved into Memory Care. When I cleaned out her room after she passed in late February, that $20 bill was in her wallet in the exact same place she put it nearly 3 years earlier.
If your loved one is in a Memory Care ALF where they're expected to pay for services in cash, something is OFF, big time. Now, the elder may DEMAND to have cash on them and INSIST there are things they 'must' pay for, but that's a different story entirely. I'd give her a $20 bill or 4 $5s and leave it at that b/c the one thing you DO NOT want to do is give an elder with dementia a bunch of cash in a Memory Care AL situation and then have endless discussions constantly about who 'stole it'!!!!!!! :(
If they have someone who comes in to do hair or manicures, they usually just add it to the bill at the end of the month.
I wouldn't see any need for her to have cash.
After being placed in memory care, If she still is still adamant about carrying a purse or wallet, let her keep one with a dollar in it or better yet, fake money. Outside of that, mark my word, it will get taken or lost.
Memory care is a different world. They take each others clothes, go into each others rooms, take each others teeth....no joke. They no longer have the mental capacity to understand boundaries or even recognize their own things.
I know all of this may sound shocking to you, but you will get it once she is in there for a bit. The anxiety about it all subsides and you get to a point where you're happy if they are safe, well fed and taken care of. The other superficial things in life that we placed value on fade away.
you can order play money called "prop money" which is used in the motion picture industry. I crumpled it up to "age" it a little then flatten it out. Even the memory care staff called me once to tell me that my Mom had a lot of money in her purse!!
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