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My husband gets SS and a Union pension but assisted living is so expensive that there would be nothing left for the wife to live on. How could we work it out?

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I would like to know the answer to that question myself. I have a husband in Memory Care and in a few years we will run out of money.
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You will find information at these sites informative. Of course, all info is available at the government site, but it is harder to find.

veteranaid
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Go to va.gov and look up Aid and Attendance requirements.
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Check to see if you have a VA office in your county. We have great people in our local office. They are dedicated to helping vets and I think they want the maximum possible federal dollars to be sent to our county. They will help you determine if there are steps you can take to get help.
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If the cost of care is more than his income he should qualify...while I was told for many, many years my mom did not because of the cap limit here of $2,000 a month, her cost of care at the facility, insurance, bills etc.. was several thousand higher which I had to pay. Finally after 1 1/2 years from applying she rec'd it!!!! Stay on them and make sure you have the bills, statements from assisted living etc....if they still deny you see a lawyer who specializes in VA matters! They are due what they are owed, that was part of their benefits when they signed up to protect our country! This is a sore subject for me as I was told no for so many years when she should have qualified a long time ago! Check out the sites in the above answers.....aid and attendance...also many Memory Care/ALF will help you if they have a social worker on staff to navigate the system. Good Luck!
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There are different types of aid for veterans, a veteran's pension (which is limited by income) and aid and attendance benefit (which depends on income, assets and medical expenses. It is a little bit of an ordeal to apply for, but you can get help from your local VA office. Call and bring your patience and a lunch. One thing I would warn you about is that my mom was steered by a nursing home to an agency called VetsAngels. They say they will help with the paperwork, and help you qualify if your assets are too much, but what they really are is a financial services company that wants to make money from you by getting you to put your assets in an annuity. Here's the bad part, if you put your assets in the annuity, and then don't qualify for the pension, how are you going to access that money when you need it for care? What they have you do is irrevocable, and I'm lucky that mom didn't fall for it. Just be careful who you get to help you fill out the paperwork. No one should be charging you anything, either, unless you're using an attorney/accountant. We did the paperwork ourselves, and submitted a pretty complete package. It took about 4 months to get word back. Also, be sure to file a letter of intent to claim. When your claim is approved, it's retroactive to the day you file, so get that in right away. You have a year to provide all the information, but the sooner you do it, the sooner you get paid, and the more complete your application is, the more likely it will get promptly approved.
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Very strange that someone accessed my response to this question and deleted the 2 links I furnished on this site, so I am going to post again helpful links for more information on this topic. If there is someone moderating these responses and you take issue with the information I am providing, I take offense to you altering my response to something unintelligible. It would be nice if you contact me directly if you have some reasonable explanation for your action in modifying my posting. Thank you!

To those looking for information to assist in applying for veterans benefits, you will find helpful information at the following sites:

http://www.va.gov/opa/persona/caregiver_family.asp

http://www.veteranaid.org/

http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/19/few-know-of-benefit-to-help-aging-veterans/?_r=0
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