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My Mum has recently entered a Nursing Home with dementia. They have told us we are spending too much time there. They say that she won't adapt to her surroundings & mix in with other residents if we are there all the time. She is lonely & scarred.....what should we do ?

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How much time are you spending there? All day, every day?

Is mom on any meds for agitation , anxiety and/or depression? Thise have helped my mom become calmer than she's ever been. She was always a worrier and a catastophizer. Now, not so much, which is good for her health and peace of mind.

I live almost two hours away and visit every other week. My Sister in Law, who works nearby, drops in after work at least once a week, sometimes more. Brother visits once or twice a week and other brother, who lives about 5 hours away, makes the trip about 4 times a year.

She there because she needs professional care. Let them do their job. See if there is a geriatric psychiatrist on staff who can advise on meds.
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How often are you there and for how long? Personally, I would visit a lot, at the beginning to make sure everything is going in the right direction and there is nothing amiss with the home. After that, I'd visit the amount of time that they recommend. Maybe once or twice a week, consistently. Just my 2 cents.
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The first few days my sister & I were there most of the day. My sister has now gone home as she lives 5 hours away & had to go back to work. I live close by so have now been going up every afternoon to take to the dining room for tea & then back to her room & tuck her in for the night.
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