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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My mother’s townhouse is 5 hours away from me. She fell in late November and was on the floor for two days before the neighbors realized they hadn’t seen her. She broke her hip and her wrist...after surgery we brought her to our town for rehab...she was just moved to assisted living. She also has advanced Macular Degeneration and cataracts and is a hoarder. The house is filthy and stuffed full of junk...she is unable to care for herself (although she disagrees) and says she will hire a servant to live with her. We offered to add a mother-in-law suite to our home and she was initially excited, but since moving to assisted living (while we have the renovations done), she is back to wanting to go home.
Does anyone have financial and/or medical POA for your mom?
What is mom's financial situation; is there the chance she will need Medicaid in the future?
Have you considered that she will "hoard up" the MIL suite AND your home? Have you considered how you will handle accusations that you are taking her money, abusing her and the like?
Have you gotten any advice from a certified Eldercare attorney and/or a geriatric psychiatrist about how best to handle this situation?
I'm sorry for all the questions, but you'll get better answers if we have a clear picture of your situation.
Yes, I have a Durable POA for finances and medical; it needs to be updated, but since she is still angry about assisted living, we are treading lightly. She has many assets that she will deplete if she needs Medicaid. Our hope is to keep her living in the in-law suite with assistance on a daily basis. We are not too worried about hoarding if she is in the suite...I am already on an emotional roller-coaster as she is very nasty to me...it’s inevitable unless I stop seeing her or talking to her. I have met with an elder care attorney (who is wonderful).
This simply sounds potentially disastrous. There is her age factor, her health issues, and her method of living conditions. She is far from you but at least in an environment where care can be provided. Alot of seniors think they know best but in reality they can be like children in that they cannot reason. We all have desires in life for certain outcomes but that doesn't mean they materialize. A 95 year old in a hoarder living environment is simply not good and because of her issues she may make her remaining years unpleasant if she lives with you. Whatever the outcome I hope it is best suited for all of you.
Daisy, I think I'd become a broken record and tell her that the doctor says she can't. "We'll see", "I'll talk to the doctor about that" and "Maybe when the weather gets better" or "I'm too busy to handle that right now, Mom" are all good responses.
I wouldn't worry if she gets angry. If she blows up at you, you leave and say "I'll come back when you're feeling better". Remove yourself from situations of verbal or physical abuse, not because it's going to teach her anything, but because you don't deserve to be abused.
And re-think moving her in with you. She's mentally ill and being in your home is NOT going to fix that.
If your mom were to get to the point where she is looking to hire someone to help her, if she goes through a nursing agency they won't work with her if her house is hoarded. A hoarde is a health and fall risk and nursing agencies won't send caregivers to a house that's been hoarded.
If your mom tries to hire privately she will still have difficulty finding someone who will work in a hoarde.
Daisy; One thing you need to be clear about: if your mother is in need of care, she's going to be spending her money on that care. Who is paying for the modification to the home? That's generally not allowable by Medicaid, as it adds value to YOUR home.
In home care is quite expensive, 25$ per hour is the general figure in most areas.
Why do you think that hoarding is not going to be a problem? You might want to do a search of "hoarding" on this site and read some of the stories.
And if mom is nasty and argumentative to you now, how does that improved when you move her into your home?
A lot of us have been down this road before; we're asking questions so that you'll go into this forewarned and forearmed.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Was she in AL before these injuries?
Is she capable of coordinating a move back to her home on her own (without your assistance?)
Does anyone have financial and/or medical POA for your mom?
What is mom's financial situation; is there the chance she will need Medicaid in the future?
Have you considered that she will "hoard up" the MIL suite AND your home? Have you considered how you will handle accusations that you are taking her money, abusing her and the like?
Have you gotten any advice from a certified Eldercare attorney and/or a geriatric psychiatrist about how best to handle this situation?
I'm sorry for all the questions, but you'll get better answers if we have a clear picture of your situation.
I wouldn't worry if she gets angry. If she blows up at you, you leave and say "I'll come back when you're feeling better". Remove yourself from situations of verbal or physical abuse, not because it's going to teach her anything, but because you don't deserve to be abused.
And re-think moving her in with you. She's mentally ill and being in your home is NOT going to fix that.
If your mom tries to hire privately she will still have difficulty finding someone who will work in a hoarde.
In home care is quite expensive, 25$ per hour is the general figure in most areas.
Why do you think that hoarding is not going to be a problem? You might want to do a search of "hoarding" on this site and read some of the stories.
And if mom is nasty and argumentative to you now, how does that improved when you move her into your home?
A lot of us have been down this road before; we're asking questions so that you'll go into this forewarned and forearmed.