In November 2007,I admitted mother, into the hospital as a hospice patient. Her ulcer had become sepsis, and chances of survival was
none.Body functions began shutting down. She held our hands, as my brothers and I prayed and talked to her. Hospice tried to prepare us for her departure. It upset us to watch her body dehydrate, because she could no longer ingest anything, but she wanted food, everyday, for the last 3 wks. of life. I need
to talk to others, trying to cope as I am.
My own mother died in hospice two years ago. It's been my experience that you just have to allow yourself some time.
It's hard not to re-live the moments leading up to death. You don't ever forget it, but the "freshness" of it decreases over time.
Eventually, you'll remember the good times (the bad times will still be there, but you won't focus on them so much) Your mother will be in your heart forever!
You have to grieve before you can heal, so give yourself that right. Here are a few articles that I thought might help you cope.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/find-hope-deal-with-the-pain-of-losing-a-loved-one-115167.htm
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/grieving-before-death-terminally-ill-116037.htm
time to grieve, my husband became ill to the point, that he's halucinating a lot, especially, at night. He's 71 years old, and being a paraplegic, for the past 55 years, bedridden off and on, for the past 6 years, due to surgeries, for the last 6 years,is depressing enough for him, let alone mother's death, followed by diagnosis of alzheimers, three weeks ago. He's an only child, meaning I'm soul caregiver. Please remember us in your prayers. brominds
jlljnn123
God bless
I shed tears for my mom not long ago. But again, it was short lived. Most of the time, I feel relief and gratitude that my parents are out of pain. I feel their presence yet. They didn't disappear from memory just because they passed on.
Grief takes so many forms and can get so tangled up with our other emotions, that healing is a slow process. But it does get better. Most of the time, I think of my elders with joy and gratitude, and the hardships of years of caregiving fade into the past. The whole of who they were during their lives shines brightly.
There's a fellowship on this site that is wonderful for caregivers as well as those who grieve. It always feels good to share experiences with others who have been where we are.
Carol
Take care,
Carol
Your words, "It is the price we pay for our ability to love" says it all. With love comes pain. The fact that your mother's life could, perhaps, have been longer and had more quality makes this even more painful. We mourn with you, yet you mourn alone. It's a personal journey.
Carol
jill
Your mother got a bum rap when it came to diagnosis and treatment. That makes it even worse for you. Take care,
Carol