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My mom has dementia and lives with me. She is constantly plugging in her name and number for "free" senior this or "free" senior that. I don't want to cut her cell phone and internet access but I don't know how to stop this. She believes every social media ad there is. Today she plugged her name and number into a "free" $2,000 stimulus check. Yesterday it was "free" $900 in groceries. When I tell her that this is a scam she calls me a liar and we get into an argument about it. Is the only way to avoid this to shut off her internet?

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graciekelli: 'Mom, the phone needs to go in for a service/warranty/anything else update.'
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Check into a Grandpad from Consumer Cellular - you are the administrator and can put in only the contacts you want her to have. It also has internet controls, games, music, news and photos. It's a great device and reasonably priced.
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Is she actually giving them money or just “signing up” if she isn’t giving them money or financial info I would offer to set up a seperate email and even PO Box for these things, that way she won’t miss any important emails and she can just follow up when she chooses. “You can never be too careful these days Mom but I wouldn’t want you to miss out on anything either so this way we both feel safe.”

I have a separate email for giving out on line and signing up for things myself, it’s great because I don’t have to weed through all the junk mail when I’m looking for something specific.

If she is giving money too then you might open an account just for this that has a limit of money in it and this way no one is getting her card info either.
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Gracie, your mom and my father belong to a generation that trusted everyone. They really do not comprehend that the way it used to be no longer is.

My father (five hours away from me) has done some pretty stupid stuff online and on the phone.

I have as many of his user names and passwords as I've been able to get. I set up online banking with his different accounts so I can monitor his accounts (he does not know how to use online banking, so won't be accessing those accounts himself).

I check his email first thing in the morning and several times during the day to filter out the stuff I don't want him to see. I monitor his Facebook account, including friend requests and messages.

I review all his calls (incoming and outgoing) daily and block the unscrupulous callers. I ask him each night about why he has made certain calls. "Dad, why did you call 911 today?" "I needed help with a credit card." "What kind of help? Was your card stolen?" "No, I just don't want to use that card any more and wanted them to help me find a new card to sign up for. They said they couldn't help me." Sigh.

The one thing I can't manage is his postal mail. He gets all kinds of money requests and thinks, "Well, if I send them a few bucks, they'll leave me alone." I tell him that when he sends them a few bucks, he'll get even more mail from them. He won't write checks to his grandchildren for birthdays and Christmas because it is too much trouble but sends money to organizations that may not even be legit. Another sigh.

Well, I hope you were able to glean some suggestions from all this.
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Caregiverstress Jun 2023
I made sure mail was no longer going to my father’s house. I had it come to me.
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I may cut off her internet but she still has her data. Hopefully the parental controls cover Data usage. Maybe she does not know how to turn on the Data? It would be the last phone I bought her. Maybe, remove the battery and tell her the phone is broke and you need to take it to the phone store. Every time she asks about it, tell her they are still working on it.

The problem will be, though, the rest of the family cannot use their phones around her. Out of site, out of mind. If this is all she uses it for and really does not use it to talk to others, I would get rid of it. Or, just put in a landline so she gets calls.
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Missymiss Jun 2023
Landline only won't help. My mom was getting constant calls from scammers on her landline phone. I shudder to think how much money she paid out to scammers. I didn't live there and had no way to get her to stop. She could not understand they were scams and would not stop answering the phone and talking to them, no matter how many times I tried to convince her.
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You could tell her that her phone needs an update and drop it off at a computer or phone store. Ahead of time, you let them know what to do.
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Great idea. Thank you. Now I just need to sneak her phone away from her and set it up...Lol.
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If she has no POA to handle her financials, giving her a small allowance account of her own, your mom is now in grave danger and a sitting duck for becoming penniless.
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Parental Controls is what I would do.
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Set parental controls? I don’t know how to do that.
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bundleofjoy Jun 2023
right.
OP, there’s a way to give her only the kids’ version of the internet.
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