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I would like to know how/if you handle a family member (brother) who has taken to upsetting a parent with dementia as a deliberate way to "get back" at family members.


How would you handle this situation?

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I believe I would tell brother "Did you suddenly turn 7 or something? Grow up! Tormenting mom/dad is juvenile and cruel. If you have a problem with one of us, be a man and bring it to us. If not, we will need to limit your access to parent." Be your parent's advocate. He sounds sick.
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I'd try to keep him away from the parent with dementia until he has anger management classes or resolves his behavioral issues in a more positive way. Perhaps he even needs counseling. Tormenting a vulnerable adult is not only cruel, it's sadistic.
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Thank you both for your answers. It really does help. We are doing just that because of his behavior. He is an abusive individual both pysically and mentally. It has cost him three marriages, one resulted in court ordered anger management classes and he currently has a description of property charge pending in court against him.

He threatens to sue my other brother & I consistently because we will not let him know where my mother is. This is bring done not just for her safety but the other residents as well. His latest threat was a lawsuit for alienation of affection. Again it makes me feel better to know we are doing what others would.
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Destruction of property. Sorry for the typo
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You're doing the right thing. His empty threats to sue are very transparent and are on par with a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. Someone like that who is cruel and sadistic has no business around a vulnerable elder.
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There is something wrong with him. He has a personality disorder. I would do just exactly what you're doing.

As far as him suing you, such an empty threat.

Do proceed with personal caution, however. This one isn't right in the head.
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If people really had any idea what's involved in successfully prosecuting a civil suit, they wouldn't threaten so much. And that's what these are is threats, as others have written.

I wouldn't think anyone has grounds to sue for knowledge of specific location of a parent, especially given his volatility. He'd have to file his own suit because other than an attorney who can't get any other work, he wouldn't be able to get a competent attorney to file the suit. Same with the alienation of affection. That kind of accusation would it seems to me to be hard to prove.

It's sad that he's so angry he needs to threaten, but you're right to keep him away.

It might be hard to do because he's a relative, but something you might want to consider is getting a PPO to prevent him from contact with your parent, and perhaps you and the rest of your family.

And if his anger does escalate, you're not only justified but would be doing him a favor by calling the police and ask that he be taken to a psychiatric facility.
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I am not so worried about him coming near me and my family as he knows I will call the police in a split second. He does have outstanding warrants as well as the pending case. But I do appreciate to know that you would all do the same. It gives me strength to know that there is support out there.
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Could me as another one who would keep that brother away from a vulnerable elder.
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That is "count me" -- sheesh, isn't it embarrassing sometimes to see that what your fingers type isn't what your brain cells were signalling them?
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