We just went through hurricane Beryl with my mother, and it was pretty much everything. I thought it would be. Our area took basically one of the worst hits. She did not want to stay in our home with us during this storm. I told her I would check on her the next day. Then the storm came and our area was hit much worse than anyone anticipated. I drove the 10 miles to her house next morning. The weather head had been ripped from her house and there was roof damage. This meant that she cannot even be hooked back up to power until that was fixed. Of course she has not much money. A few thousand dollars to her name. So the powers out there’s no air conditioning, etc. I had no choice but to bring her back to my house. At the time, there were no shelters open that I knew of. My house did not sustain any real damage, but we were just in an area wide power outage. We had a portable generator. The irony is that we’ve just purchased a whole house Kohler generator but it was not yet installed. We had a couple of room AC units in the living areas of the house. I can’t even fully describe the level of stress it was having her here for nine days. She set up Shop on my living room couch with the TV blaring top volume 24 seven. Got smart with me about request to lower the volume late at night. She insisted on putting her dentures in at my kitchen table. I again was always polite and she said she could not see well enough in the bathroom to do her oral care. I offered her a very good lantern. No dice. Then even after we got power back five days in, she was still doing it at my kitchen table. I have a no smoking rule at my house and she went outside to smoke, but was sassy with me when I requested she get further from the doors and windows cause I could smell it coming in. And then I found out she was putting her cigarette butts in my kitchen trash and I could smell the odor. I had given her an empty bottle with a lid, but she still did this. She only bathed twice in those days. The day I took her home yesterday I counted her wearing the same outfit four days in a row. I was just extremely grossed out by the whole thing. She was up in my kids business, being especially nosy with my daughter. My 23 year-old son is on the autism spectrum and has an anxiety disorder, and my 20-year-old daughter is just a real introvert. Her presence here was very stressful for them and all of us. After the storm I got to work on finding resources to get her home repairs done. I only had one roofer return my call and he was kind enough to flat out offer to do that repair for free. I just explained the situation, didn’t ask for anything free he just offered it. And then the electric work was $1500. My mother, got her savings out of the bank of $1300 and that’s how we paid for the electric work. And then it still took a couple more days for the power company to be ready to hook her up. And one night she took all of her meds, including her sleeping med, and was seeing Things that weren’t there. And when I mentioned it the next day she denied it. She also has some real issues around food and got real cranky with me one day when we were out and she suddenly got hungry, even though I had tried to get her to eat before we left the house. I was just literally about physically sick with having her around. The good part is that she also realized that she does not want to live with us. She was very happy to go back to her crappy very dirty house. Her plans were last night was to lay in bed and chain-smoke. Makes me nervous because we’re not even in the active part of hurricane season. I told her for the next home repair. I’ve got no more tricks to pull out of my hat to get her house fixed, especially if the damage is worse. I’ve deep cleaned my house and am glad she is gone!
I dodged a bullet too once . After Dad died , Mom came to stay with us a few days . I secretly was looking at it as a “ trial run “.
Mom left to go back home after 2 days , stating she “ couldn’t stand our habits “. Lol. 😂😂
What she couldn’t stand was that she wasn’t in charge !!
She was OCD and narcissistic , her way was the only way .
I keep wondering if she’ll end up in the hospital and then go to a facility. She wheezes when she breathes, has osteoporosis, a degenerating spine, a cervical spine full of hardware (yet still smokes). I feel like this is what will happen at some point. But for now she’s feisty! Labs better than mine! Can take enough narcotics, gaba pentin, muscle relaxers, anti depressants ,and rx sleep meds to knock a horse out, yet keep on ticking. At some point this will cause her some problems. She did tell me recently very plainly that she wants nothing invasive to keep her alive, no more surgery. So at least I have clear guidance on that.
I've got a son in Austin, so I was watching beryl and remembered you.
Glad you home didn't have any major damage. And glad you got you mom back home!
I'll be watching Austin if there is another hurricane, so keep us up to date if you get another one. Hopefully that was it for the year.
for those unfamiliar w/Lady Bird Deeds, they are a way now to have a current & in the future then dead owner of a home to have it transfer outside of probate; & bc it does this outside of probate, it can be outside of how Estate Recovery administers it program. Handful of States allow Lady Birds AND has absolutely nothing to do with Lady Bird Johnson.
….. so OP as mom is owner of the house, it remains totally in her name and she gets whatever tax exemptions etc as her primary residence. So whatever costs house has (property taxes, utilities, maintenance, yard) is all on her to pay. As mom has SSA income, she has $ to do this. BUT here’s the sticky, your mom is going to get beyond - if not already - being able to stay living in her home for her own safety & health needs. She going to be one of those who has an “event”, then hospitalized then into a NH as full time resident. Sounds like Mom is relatively lower income so ok for TX LTC Medicaid eligibility & home will stay exempt asset for her lifetime under TX LTC Medicaid rules. But due to Share of Cost requirement of LTC Medicaid, all her SSA & other income she has must be paid 2 the NH less only $75.00. The $75 is her Personal Needs Allowance and has restrictions as to what it can be used for. She cannot have any used to pay on that home as she is living in the NH and as such all living related expenses paid by Medicaid. So every cost on house - still in her name - is on you to pay & pay beyond her grave. Prop taxes will increase, & could be significant depending where you live. If Ft Bend Co, will be crazy high as HCOL & parcel zero exemptions as mom is no longer residing in the home. If mom in the Nh 5 years that means all costs are on you abt 6-7 years to pay as will take a bit of time to get through asset transfer documents. State outside contractor will still do the MERP path as it’s a required attempt, so someone (atty kinda best) will have to interface to establish Lady Bird documentation and filings.
Lady Birds, like Testamentary Trusts and other Trusts, are good estate planning. But should Medicaid get involved, whomever erstwhile heirs have to be able to cover all property costs for undetermined period of time. Could be a good bit of $ if an area with zealous Safety & Permits Dept. along with TX very high property tax State (no income taxes).
A couple in this forum who have been in this situation: one in Geo West area, was her & her Sis as future Lady Bird, well Sissy did drugs, bad bfs, etc so all fell to good Sister to cover not quite 3 years. Her hubs was a saint, did yard & maintenance; when mom finally died, property sold w/$ split 50/50 as how LBD was done; she was ok on this as just wanted it over with. Others in Hays & Travis, unfortunately was flat out unaffordable for POAs to cover costs over time, could not get other family (who would benefit from LBD too!) to help or pay, so property sold while parent was in the NH with all - ALL - the $ from Act of Sale 100% to the parent who then had to do a spend down via private pay to the NH. No reimbursement to POA as would be “gifting” for Medicaid.
Lady Birds can be fabulous. But you have to have wallet, time & sense of humor to deal with undetermined end point. Elder does not come with expiration date. Its 16K yr avg to have avg property to just exist in TX, so if you do not have 16K for sure, it is a waste of time, $ & energy. It’s like having 2nd or 3rd home & most of us cannot afford a 2nd home.
Property taxes top priority as Co. will put it up for tax sale when it goes delinquent and will title transfer to whomever holds tax sale deed redemption. Redemption is pretty aggressive in TX.
Really go over all this. Cause if you are pinched for $250, it’s gonna be hard to pay prop taxes and other costs.
"I told her for the next home repair. I’ve got no more tricks to pull out of my hat to get her house fixed, especially if the damage is worse."
Are you paying with your own money to keep fixing her hoarder house when it gets storm damage?
Mom does not have house insurance? That would have covered the roof.
Please pls pls check on this, because I think - if I’m not mistaken - the “face value” for term has a maximum of $1500 to be allowed to be exempt for LTC Medicaid eligibility. It could actually pay more at death than the $1500 as it is paid up so it’s building reserves. But its “face value” cannot be over $1500.
Please pls read and reread her policy to see exactly what it is. Cause if this is accurate, that 5K you were thinking you’d get upon her death will not happen.
fwiw if they have a big Term Life policy, State Medicaid may not require it to be cashed in. BUT what they might require is for a change of beneficiary to be done. So say 50K Term Life all paid up but zero cash value till after death and with you as primary beneficiary and a grandkid as secondary beneficiary. Medicaid will impose residual beneficiary upon the policy in order for the elder to be eligible for Medicaid. So State becomes the new primary & is paid first and then if any $ left, it goes to you. Changing beneficiary on insurance is easy peasy. Done for annuities too.