We go from one obsession to another. His bedroom is on a Lower level from mine, there also is a Utility room where I keep the Kitty Litter box. For the past month or so hes been doing things like washing his Leather Jacket and putting it in the Litter box to dry..
The first thing I have to do at 6 a.m is run downstairs and open the room so the cats can use the Litter Box because hes shutting the door during the night. The litter box and floor is always full of what I thought was chunks of litter soaked with water. I discovered today he is urinating and DEFECATING in the litter box.I have shown him the bathroom and explained this is where he goes.............he just smirks and says "don't tell me what to do".
I had to move the Litter out of the tiled room to a carpeted area where I don't want it in hopes he'll forget about it.
Can I put a lock on his bedroom door to keep him in there at night or is this abuse? I am about at the end of my rope. I've been dealing with this stuff totally by myself for 4 yrs...........I am tired beyond tired.I had to buy a Micro wave with a child lock on it because he burnt up two. I have to remove the knobs from the stove and hide everything I don't want him to eat. He will eat a 9x13 pan of brownies and well as everything else in the Refrigerator. One night he ate 12 raw eggs..........get the picture?? He gets 3 meals a day he can't be hungry. All these things have to be done before I can go to bed. I sleep in a locked bedroom with my 3 little dogs in there so he won't hurt them or let them out of the house at night
I can't afford a nursing home and his doctor refuses to treat him unless he is in a nursing home so I can't even get sleep Meds for him.
Help!!.
Next, contact a lawyer who specializes in Elder Law, to discuss ways to pay for a nursing home.
Please do not lock him in his room. I can understand how tempting that is but it is not safe, and it might enrage him to the point of violence in his room.
You absolutely positively need help. Meds for your husband can help. Also you need either in-home help or (perhaps better) a care center for your husband.
As Jeanne and Pam had mentioned above, time for a memory-care facility for your husband. Check with Medicaid to see if he qualifies. Do it soon as it sounds like he is starting to be defiant, and we don't want to see you getting hurt.
There are no Memory Care Facilities for 100 miles and I have tried to find a new Doctor for him (& me) and no one will take on a new patient who has Alzheimers.
His two boys want no part of this problem. One came to see him once, the oldest has known the problem for 3 yrs and lives close enough to drive here and has never been to see his father or offer to help, My one son does what he can to help me.but its just me.............
Lot of good advice was given to you back in August. You really need to make plans on doing something or this will continue to go around, and around, and around in circles. And nothing changes.
Coming here to vent is fine. There's a lot of value in venting and we've all done it but if someone doesn't really want advice they shouldn't ask for it----twice. That's just how I look at it.
Maddie, regarding the cat litter, move the cat box to another part of the house, like the upper bathroom or a spare bedroom... yes, I know it will be unpleasant and dusty at times, but buy a reed defuser to put in that room to help mask the smell.
If hubby wants to pee in the litter box, buy another litter box and line it with a dog pee pad or blue sheets.... I had to do that for a 21 year old cat who was too wobbly for the cat litter but could easily use the blue sheet.
1. No physician is willing to take on a patient with such a horrible diagnosis, knowing that the patient will only go downhill, no matter what they do.
2. Adult children often cannot "deal with" the aging of their own parents, because they want to remember their parents as hale and hardy - not old and debilitated.
3. You likely don't live near a major metropolitan area, because you would find several memory-care facilities in a more populous area. (You mention that you are at least 100 miles from anything like that, so I assume you live in a rural area or small town far away from any medium-sized city.)
I agree with the other posts. Your life is in danger. You may need to find a memory care facility that is 100+ miles away and get him on the list. Once he is in a safe place, you can phone him daily and visit once a month. If you don't do something ASAP, he may attack you and kill y ou.