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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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This is a common phase for dementia patients. I found some good ideas on the alzheimers website. Since this thought process is your husband's reality, don't dismiss it or disagree with him. You might remove him from the house for a short period of time and make a (make believe) call to the police or a trusted friend and ask them to evict the other people. When you return, you can check out the house together (if he is mobile) and comment about what a great job the police/friend did in removing those other people. It worked for me, hope it does for you. Thankfully, this period was very brief for my Mom.
Could you say a little more about what is happening?
And what are your major concerns about it? Are you anxious about how your husband is feeling in himself, or about what he might do about the mysterious extra people, or just wondering why he thinks this?
My mother was convinced the neighbors 10yr old grandson was coming into the house and moving her stuff. For instance, a deck of cards that were on the shelf had been moved to a drawer. OMG, they're cleaning the house, this must stop! I changed the locks and put in other security measures, but she was convinced he was still getting in. Interestingly, he never grew up. 8 years later and that same little boy is still getting in. Educating myself on dementia helped me learn new ways to handle the problem. Mom never remembers our discussions on this issue and I often feel like a broken record. It is incredibly tough and I feel your pain. The situation is what it is and the only thing you can change is your self. Have you sought out any help? A talk therapist can help immensely.
Benign delusions do not need treatment. Only if the delusion is disturbing to the person with dementia does it need to be addressed.
If your husband sees/believes that extra people are in the house and he is pleased to have visitors, you can just go along and then try a distraction. "Visitors? Well I am glad I filled all the candy dishes yesterday! Speaking of dishes, will you help me unload the dishwasher?"
If he is fearful of the extra people, then an approach like geewiz suggests may be effective. It doesn't always have to be that elaborate (it is hard to leave the house in the middle of making dinner) but basically you want to assure him that he is safe and you will take care of the problem.
My FIL will say there's a "little girl" who is moving his stuff around. We're not sure how old this girl is, but he's adamant about the little girl. We get him out of the room--because if you point out there's no little girl in the room, he insists she hides--and one of us will go in and come back out a minute later saying we chased her out and told her not to come back.
The little girl shows up every few weeks. So do the house full of co-workers and the work he's "supposed to do." We just roll with it. It's more upsetting to him, and us, to confront him about it. For us, it works to have us chase them out.
It's difficult to deal with an elder's altered sense of reality. The best we can do is try to understand and find ways to center them again.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
And what are your major concerns about it? Are you anxious about how your husband is feeling in himself, or about what he might do about the mysterious extra people, or just wondering why he thinks this?
Educating myself on dementia helped me learn new ways to handle the problem. Mom never remembers our discussions on this issue and I often feel like a broken record.
It is incredibly tough and I feel your pain. The situation is what it is and the only thing you can change is your self. Have you sought out any help? A talk therapist can help immensely.
If your husband sees/believes that extra people are in the house and he is pleased to have visitors, you can just go along and then try a distraction. "Visitors? Well I am glad I filled all the candy dishes yesterday! Speaking of dishes, will you help me unload the dishwasher?"
If he is fearful of the extra people, then an approach like geewiz suggests may be effective. It doesn't always have to be that elaborate (it is hard to leave the house in the middle of making dinner) but basically you want to assure him that he is safe and you will take care of the problem.
The little girl shows up every few weeks. So do the house full of co-workers and the work he's "supposed to do." We just roll with it. It's more upsetting to him, and us, to confront him about it. For us, it works to have us chase them out.
It's difficult to deal with an elder's altered sense of reality. The best we can do is try to understand and find ways to center them again.