We have separate accounts and credit cards because of this. He refuses to give me money for his share of the household expenses. The only thing we own jointly is our house. We have an equity loan and the bank has frozen it because of his low credit score. My credit is excellent and I still work.
I am 78 yrs old still work, paying all expenses and don't want to go down the tubes because of this. His diagnosis is "Mild Cognitive Disorder" We feel it is more than this because of the problems he is creating. My son has tried to help but his father won't speak to him now.
You'll likely need doctors to provide updated diagnosis as well, so you might need to provide them with
You are in a tough spot. I think that you should try to take him to a specialist-----psychiatrist, neurologist---and have his cognitive skills evaluated. "Mild cognitive disorder" doesn't generally manifest itself like this, plus that is a cop-out diagnosis. What is the actual cause of the mild cognitive disorder? If he's been fine all his life and this is a drastic change, there must be a cause---you don't go from normal cognitive abilities to "mild" cognitive disorder for no reason. Even people with mild cognitive impairment know that bills must be paid, credit cards must be paid and that they must contribute to household expenses if they want to live there.
Maybe tell your husband that if he doesn't start contributing financially toward the expenses, you are going to rent out a room to bring in some money toward the expenses.
(BTW I don't understand the bank freezing the loan because of his low credit score. That's a reason for not granting it in the first place. Usually they freeze it because they are not receiving payments. You own the house too, get a statement from the bank for this loan. This is what could hurt you personally, because you are both liable for this. They don't care who pays it or who was supposed to pay it, they can go after both of you.)
And keep your good credit and accounts intact and separate from his, which it sounds like you have managed to do.
If you are in a joint-property State, owning the house in both your names, means the survivor inherits, will or not...depending on size of estate determines other factors like taxes, etc....but you'd also inherit liens and debts levied on the equity in the property, I've been told.
He also needs to have Doctors evaluate whatever the condition is.
Unfortunately, many will fail to do that.
You, as your spouse's Advocate, may need to practically serve the evaluation information to the Docs on a silver platter, then tell the Doc what is wanted. Even at very good multi-Doc clinics, the PCP might label it as "deep dementia" or "advanced Alzheimer's" or words which sound extremely severe....yet the Clinic's Neuro Doc will call it "Mild Cognitive Impairment"
....One client was being put through hellish wringers as her siblings used those two very different diagnoses, to manipulate their Mom's estate and care-- using the less severe DX to get her into care facilities at inappropriate lower levels of care, and using the severe DX to limit my client's access to the estate while the siblings manipulated the funds to their own advantage; they even had the estate lawyer in on it.
That his credit score is low, usually means he's been playing games with credit for awhile, or done at least one big whammy to his financials. But more likely, been doing things for awhile that are poor practice.
Q: Has your spouse had episodes during his life, of behaving like he's not exactly living in the real world, and spending money he doesn't really have while down his "rabbit hole"?
That would also need evaluated; that is usually not dementia, but more like mental issues, which could be related to things like depression, PTSD, bipolar. One client I have been working with a long time, does that. He's responded to medications, better dietary, etc., but it's an on-going battle to keep him grounded in the real world; so his spouse must keep her financials as separate as possible, and limit his access to handling money needed to pay bills and just take care of their needs for living.
An elder-estate lawyer and a Doc, should be able to help you...maybe other professionals too, to get this straightened out.
As the spouse, if you don't have DPOA yet, you should by the time things get straightened out; control of his financials might become your responsibility, or might be placed into a conservator's hands...depends on all the information informing the decisions.
At least my mother so far is not running up bills, but she can't balance her checkbook to save her life now, and it is a challenge to convince her to let me assist with writing checks as needed, so that she can get it done correctly.
I hope for your sake that you and your son can have the tough conversations needed with your husband to convince him to let you or your son take care of the finances, and limit his access to credit or the accounts.