Follow
Share

I have full power of attorney for my father - healthcare, financial, durable, ect. We had a very broad PoA created for us last month after my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He has late stage colon cancer, stage 2 prostate cancer, and a hole in his heart that he needed surgery for back in May and he refused to do so. He's now fallen off the wagon, so to speak. He's doing PcP, smoking weed all day, and occasionally some other things like ICE. He's lost a lot of weight, he can hardly stand anymore, he's fatigued and sleeps most of the day, and doesn't eat anymore. Most of the time he is nauseous and throwing up if he does try to eat. He's pretty much expressed that he just wants to die at this point, but my concern is that in the meantime he is blowing through the family's inheritance. He's spent almost $200K in the past 6 months. He's also talking about marrying a women who's been supplying him drugs. His state has an elective share law, so she would be entitled to 1/3 of his estate value even if she's not in the will. (She's the one supplying him with drugs, and has blocked most of his family from his phone so we cannot contact him.)This is a hot mess. Can anyone make recommendations? Can I have him sent to a hospital, rehab, or somewhere else in the last few weeks?

Remember firstly that full POA means that you make decisions ONLY when your principal asks you to or is incapable of making his own (legally incompetent).
So??
You have full POA and you are worried about the family's inheritance?
It seems as though it is your money you are concerned with, rather than getting in Hospice?

If your father has dementia, yes, I guess you can get him placed in care. I would think, with a full POA you are ALREADY capable of gathering and managing his finances. That is WHAT A POA DOES and what I did as POA for my brother. He had a small allowance and I managed his trust and his assets (per his request).

If your dad DOES NOT have dementia, he can take every penny he has and flush it down the toilet if he wishes. That's how it works.
Do let him know that Hospice already has some pretty nifty drugs for him just waiting.
It may, in your dad's case, be a selling point.

I am sorry that your father is ending his life in this manner, but I suspect it may be sort of how he LIVED his life. And I am surprised you wish to be a part of his life given all that. But there is that money, as you say.

As POA you can
A) consult an attorney for options
B) call APS for guidance (but you could do that as just a daughter as well).

Good luck. I am sorry for your Dad's dire diagnosis. Looks like he isn't going gently into that good night.
"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."
Dylan Thomas
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report

Financial POA means you can make decisions for him when he’s no longer capable of making sound decisions for himself. Forget inheritance, your motives here need to revolve around preserving his assets for his care needs as you cannot predict how long he may live and what caregiving needs may arise. Time to take over his finances and cut off his access to money as the illicit drug use indicates he’s lost ability to make sound judgments. See if his area has a hospice house he can go into, otherwise he can have hospice services in his home, not ideal with the girlfriend. Hopefully, she will go away when the money does. Sorry you’re in this sad position
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Daughterof1930
Report

If your Dad is competent to make decisions, your POA means nothing.

"he is blowing through the family's inheritance"

I am really saying this nicely, your Dad does not owe you an inheritance. I too hope that I can leave my girls something but I may need my money for my care or I may spend it all on cruises. There is no guarentee when I die that there will be anything left.
The man is dying. Probably in a lot of pain. The drugs are probably helping with that. I would try to get him into Hospice where he will get morphine. I really don't think you can do much here.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter