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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Yes, last weekend I sent a voice msg to my brother who is overseas ( and that's his excuse for not caring for mom.) He did send money for her insurance after I begged & grovelled that mom's care is too much for me, Im sure our ties will break if/when my mom is no more but I'm beyond caring.
Yes. Said how I felt. Received back what she felt. A'ha! We saw things differently - & so acted differently! That actually, it was OK to see things differently.
I realise that is not always the case at all!!!
Sometimes it is quite impossible to see the other's point of view. Or you do see it, but disagree wholeheartedly.
i think it’s a good idea to tell siblings how one feels. direct. get it off your chest.
good!
and i bet it felt good, too!
keeping things in, can make us literally sick. being ignored can make us ill, too (bad siblings normally ignore their nice siblings). then one is doubly affected: mentally and physically.
strive for maximum health (mental peace, physical peace).
I think that "Karma will get you" isn't especially polite, in all truth. Of course I think karma is utter nonsense, but to suggest that something "ugly and awful" is going to visit you or yours would not bring peace to me, personally. I think we have likely let it all out at one time or another. But the truth you learn after long life is that you cannot change others. They make their own choices for their own lives for their own reasons. You can honestly only come to peace with where YOU personally are. You don't enumerate any of the "awful" thing your Sister did to your parents. I hope that they are protected from her now if she was a danger to them, their health or their finances. I know you must get a great deal of satisfaction by being there for your parents. Don't waste time wishing "karma" on people. The shadenfreude concept is overrated; it will bring you little peace to see your sister suffer. I surely wish you the best. I hope your feeling of liberation brings acceptance that there is little you can do about the human flaws in another being. Just keep on taking joy in what you can provide of love in your own and your parent's lives.
Yes! I finally, after years of not doing the bare minimum for our mom (age 89), I told my sister off. 3 years ago I moved out of state, I was hopeful my sister and her grown children would at least call and visit, or at least bring groceries after COVID began. They lived less than 5 miles.
nope. The neglect was immediate. By mid 2020 I’d had Mom come stay with us. By summer she was comfortable enough she decided it was best to move permanently. I’ve done EVERYTHING for my mom. After a year (a year!) of absolutely begging sis + 3 kids to just call, even once a week, or two—to no avail, then being told I “guilt “ her, I LOST it
. I will only contact her going forward if hospitalization occurs, or when Mom passes. My stress levels are greatly reduced. I’m sad, but I know it was necessary.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
In some cases:
good riddance.
I realise that is not always the case at all!!!
Sometimes it is quite impossible to see the other's point of view. Or you do see it, but disagree wholeheartedly.
Regarding my sister, believe it or not (but you better believe it), I received a personal letter from Santa!! (now in March!!)
Santa said, my sister’s in big trouble.
i think it’s a good idea to tell siblings how one feels. direct. get it off your chest.
good!
and i bet it felt good, too!
keeping things in, can make us literally sick. being ignored can make us ill, too (bad siblings normally ignore their nice siblings). then one is doubly affected: mentally and physically.
strive for maximum health (mental peace, physical peace).
keep going forward with your life!!
bundle of joy :)
(my real name means peace)
“strive for maximum health (mental peace, physical peace).”
Yes! :)
I think we have likely let it all out at one time or another. But the truth you learn after long life is that you cannot change others. They make their own choices for their own lives for their own reasons. You can honestly only come to peace with where YOU personally are.
You don't enumerate any of the "awful" thing your Sister did to your parents. I hope that they are protected from her now if she was a danger to them, their health or their finances.
I know you must get a great deal of satisfaction by being there for your parents. Don't waste time wishing "karma" on people. The shadenfreude concept is overrated; it will bring you little peace to see your sister suffer.
I surely wish you the best. I hope your feeling of liberation brings acceptance that there is little you can do about the human flaws in another being. Just keep on taking joy in what you can provide of love in your own and your parent's lives.
“I think that "Karma will get you" isn't especially polite”
The message to my sister was a few paragraphs, very polite.
This last sentence is slightly different: “Karma will get you.”
Karma will get you, doesn’t mean I wish my sister to suffer. It means what it means.
“I hope that they are protected from her now if she was a danger to them, their health or their finances.”
Yes, I stopped it.
Danger to their health. Bordering on criminal.
I wish us all peace.
Peace doesn’t mean just standing by. A part of peace is also about telling people how you honestly feel.
We Will Succeed :)
3 years ago I moved out of state, I was hopeful my sister and her grown children would at least call and visit, or at least bring groceries after COVID began. They lived less than 5 miles.
nope. The neglect was immediate. By mid 2020 I’d had Mom come stay with us. By summer she was comfortable enough she decided it was best to move permanently. I’ve done EVERYTHING for my mom. After a year (a year!) of absolutely begging sis + 3 kids to just call, even once a week, or two—to no avail, then being told I “guilt “ her, I LOST it
. I will only contact her going forward if hospitalization occurs, or when Mom passes. My stress levels are greatly reduced. I’m sad, but I know it was necessary.