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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I put her in Depends, but she takes them off at night and then wets. I have pads for her but she wets alot. She soaks her pillows, sheets, blankets, etc. How do I handle this?
According to your other posts, your MIL has dementia & Parkinsons Disease, and suffers from a lot of issues, and you're now mentioning extreme incontinence at night as being another. Dementia often reaches a point where in home care becomes too much of a burden for the family to manage, and Memory Care Assisted Living becomes necessary. Or Skilled Nursing with Medicaid if there are no funds available to self pay. She may be at that point now, and it may be time for you to consider placing her.
In the meantime, you can buy your MIL an Alzheimer's anti-strip suit to sleep in here:
You can use these pads on the furniture too since she'll likely start soaking thru the Depends during the day; it's just a matter of time before that happens.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet (which is a free download) which has THE best information ever about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia.
Teepa Snow has great videos on YouTube which can be helpful to learn how to shower your MIL, and how to approach her so as not to frighten her, all sorts of things to help you learn about dementia patients.
The 36 Hour Day is an excellent reference type book to have on hand to answer questions you'll have that crop up all the time, too.
Best of luck coming up with a plan of action for the future, whether you place your MIL in managed care or hire in home help, etc. It's too much for one person to handle alone, that's for sure.
Have you tried getting her up every few hours to put her on a bedside commode? That would more than likely help the issue of her soaking through everything. The anti-strip suit(that lealonnie1 suggested below)is another great option and you can put a Kotex type pad that they make for incontinence in her Depend as well to try and soak up more of the pee. And of course if this is all getting to be just to much for you, it may be time to place her in the appropriate facility where she will receive the 24/7 care she needs and you can get back to just being her daughter-in-law.
Take her to a urologist to find out if there is anything that can be fixed with meds, like a UTI. Restrict fluids before bedtime. There are suits that will keep the liquid inside if you want to look into that.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
In the meantime, you can buy your MIL an Alzheimer's anti-strip suit to sleep in here:
https://www.amazon.com/Womens-Alzheimers-Clothing-Jumpsuit-Nursing/dp/B076HQ9T27/ref=sr_1_8?crid=29MTZNTTKN5QZ&keywords=alzheimers+anti+strip+clothing+for+women&qid=1662846168&sprefix=alzheimers+anti+strip+%2Caps%2C675&sr=8-8
Then she cannot take off her Depends and make a mess for you to clean up and wash. Use booster pads in the Depends to soak up more urine:
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=adult+diaper+inserts&crid=50CDARZMQLGH&sprefix=alzheimers+anti+strip+clothing+for+women%2Caps%2C1646&ref=nb_sb_noss_1
Use Medline Extrasorbs chucks which absorb a LOT of liquid:
https://www.amazon.com/Medline-Absorbency-Disposable-Underpads-Protection/dp/B002NHIFNW/ref=sr_1_4_sspa?crid=3PW0516PJMBVE&keywords=medline+extrasorbs&qid=1662846342&sprefix=adult+diaper+inserts%2Caps%2C1994&sr=8-4-spons&psc=1
You can use these pads on the furniture too since she'll likely start soaking thru the Depends during the day; it's just a matter of time before that happens.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet (which is a free download) which has THE best information ever about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia.
The full copy of her book is available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
Teepa Snow has great videos on YouTube which can be helpful to learn how to shower your MIL, and how to approach her so as not to frighten her, all sorts of things to help you learn about dementia patients.
The 36 Hour Day is an excellent reference type book to have on hand to answer questions you'll have that crop up all the time, too.
Best of luck coming up with a plan of action for the future, whether you place your MIL in managed care or hire in home help, etc. It's too much for one person to handle alone, that's for sure.
The anti-strip suit(that lealonnie1 suggested below)is another great option and you can put a Kotex type pad that they make for incontinence in her Depend as well to try and soak up more of the pee.
And of course if this is all getting to be just to much for you, it may be time to place her in the appropriate facility where she will receive the 24/7 care she needs and you can get back to just being her daughter-in-law.