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I am taking care of my elderly parents, my father was just diagnosed with moderate Alzheimers and has severe spinal stenosis. He can barely walk and is always a high risk for falling. My mom is in ok health but not great. They live in a wonderful elderly housing community with lots of support. We just moved them there and I emptied their giant, old house of 45 years worth of crap, sold the house and did all the work of settling them in. I also work full time and have three children, the oldest, whom I am very close to, is leaving for college in September. My job entails helping people and counseling which can be draining. I feel like no one (friends and family) understands how hard all of this is to balance. I get some support from one sibling but not much from the others. I don't feel like doing anything, going anywhere, being with friends or my usual activities. Tears are always right there ready to spill. I'm not sure if I am being too dramatic and poor me as there are so many out there with things way worse. Thoughts?

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You sound so fried I can hear the sizzle from here. You have stress at work, at home and have just gone through a major transition with your parents. Try to arrange some time for YOU. Arrange for a time off work (call them sick days if you have to, because that is what they really are) and do whatever it is that recharges your batteries. And turn off the phone, your parents can do without you for a few days.
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Redleaf, depression doesn't discriminate. It attacks people with perfect, smooth lives and skips over some who have dreadful lives. If you are in the counseling profession, you probably know (intellectually) that being depressed and admitting that you are isn't a sign of weakness. So. Yes, many people have it worse. But you seem to be experiencing a lot of emotional turmoil, moving your parents, cleaning out their home, being the one on call if something happens to them. I would suggest that you need to do two things. You need to see a psychiatrist and have an evaluation for depression. It's a biochemical problem and needs to be evaluated by an MD. Second you need a break from being "on call". You email your siblings and tell them that you're experiencing a medical issue and need two weeks to go to Dr appointments and the like. They need to be on call (let them decide amongst themselves) for the next two weeks. There's nothing that can't be done via Amazon these days. Tell the facility you're taking some time off. And turn your phone off.

After you get on antidepressants if that's recommended, you let your siblings know that, going forward you will be taking regular respite.
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OMG, you have every reason to be exhausted and spent! Holy Moly! You've been through a LOT of change and hard work and your feelings are normal and to be expected. Like cwillie says, take some time for you.

When I'm feeling like your are, I "hibernate" and watch TV, do crossword puzzles, read, sleep and that works for me. But I'm single and alone and that's how I recharge my batteries (along with playing pickleball). Other people might need more support from friends or family - for me, that's a drain, because I'm usually the one taking care of everyone else.

So do what you need to do to take care of YOU! You deserve it and you have every right to take it. And be as weepy as you want about your child leaving for college. Just be sure you have help if you fall down too far into the well of sadness. {{{{{Hugs}}}} from one fellow caregiver to another!
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Red, how did you become the one to provide care for your folks? How long have you been doing this? When do you get breaks? You need regular respite away from the situation as it sounds as if you are burnt out. If you are unable to get help from siblings or bringing in someone they shoukd be in a facility. You are not doing them any favors if your emotional state is so fragile.
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This is just an addition to all these great answers. We not only care about you, God cares about you. HE knows how much you have been through, and I would guess you already lean on Him some, to have done what you have done. Jesus loves you and He will take the burden if you ask. These people on here are experienced more than myself, so take the suggestions to heart and take care of yourself!! God bless you for caring so much!
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The grief I felt at cleaning out and selling my mom's / my childhood home was awfully intense, and most people truly do not understand if they have not been through it! Sometimes I even felt guilty that I was grieving the loss of the home as much as the loss of my parent's health, and I still rate it as just about the worst thing I have ever had to do - to make that decision, and then to carry it out! Don't underestimate that loss...don't let people act like it was nothing and you shouldn't feel that way, or at least if they do, don't believe them!!!
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Not sure how I became the person in charge....maybe because I am the closest (geograhically) daughter. I love them and want to help them....and this is for sure my life...helping others. But I think I am burnt out. I guess I am just worried that I'm weak or being over dramatic. I know things could be so much worse! I think...such it up lady....it could be SO much worse. But then I still feel sad. Ugh.
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Thank you everyone for your kind words and help. I will definitely take all your advice and spend some time re-grouping and taking care of myself. Thank you so much!!
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Just reread your post. You are a counselor? One of my sibs is also, and not coincidentially the one that does the least and behind much of the trouble here. In a meeting almost three years ago now she saidnher job is exhausting and emotionally taxing. She feels that she is the only one that understands the needs because of her "years in the medical profession". That is when I learned the term compassion fatigue.
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Well said Willie.
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