I realize he needed the amount remaining in the acct with acct #, etc., but I was her caregiver per a contract he signed at the lawyer’s office and had bank POA for her bank accts. Now the executor, which I handed over to my brother, wants explanations on all transactions that I made for 3 yrs. It has now been over 3 yrs. since her passing. He got all bank records & is delaying my inheritance of $35,000 on a witch hunt hoping to find “hidden” money even though all was above board. The transactions were done while she was living & I was the bank POA, I don’t believe the bank should have released those records to him after her passing. He thinks things are amiss since he did nothing & has no idea how costly her 24/7 care was. I think he should give us each our $35,000 ASAP or I should take him to court. The cost of responding to his charges through an atty is destroying what I have in the bank. I realize my POA with the bank ended when she passed, but I don’t think I should be interrogated as to what I legally & lovingly did when she was living.
When a person acts with power of attorney, that person is accountable for what s/he does with the money. You are being asked to account for what your mother's money was spent on. I'm sure you did act both legally and lovingly, but the trouble is that you have to prove the legally part. Did you keep receipts?
What do you want from this forum? We can't tell you something that isn't true. You are in denial about the situation. Consult with an attorney to figure out what your legal options are and how much it will cost.
That means he had NO legal authority (unless there's something else involved) until the date of her death. So he also has NO authority to demand accounting records for a period for which he was not legally involved.
I don't know if an attorney would want to get involved, but one might perhaps review the situation and DEMAND that he supply legal documentation evidencing his authority to insist on records before he became legally involved.
The attorney who's involved in responding to these demands is unscrupulous and should have told your brother he has NO standing to make demands for a period during which he had no legal authority.
I would in fact see an attorney, raising the issue of suing for frivolous activity (wasting time and assets) collecting data to which he's not entitled. And I'd put the banks and any other entities that are providing data on notice that they should not have and should not be continuing to supply personal and PRIVILEGED DATA.
I think I might also consider asking an attorney how best to address this, and especially any accusations or insinuations of wrongdoing on your part. I also would inquire whether or not there are statutes that allow an executor to question, demand and review data before he became legally involved.
And, if there are still data remaining, I would consider hiring an attorney and whether or not to provide data that might be critical, not just response to a legal fishing expedition. I would also demand information on what's being done with the data supplied, and when the distributions will be made.
Another consideration as you mention is that he's blowing away the assets, diminishing the value of the estate for what could be a personal or frivolous intent. This is not consistent with proper behavior for a fiduciary.
Good luck with this.
My Moms bank statement was my proof. The money went in the money went out. All her bills were paid by check. If I bought things for her out if pocket, once a month I would write myself a check. I kept all receipts in an envelope and when I wrote that check I put the ck# and amount on the outside of the envelope. I kept all statements from the time I took over her finances even after her death. Especially thru probate if there were any questions from the beneficiaries. Be aware, that these lawyer fees your brother is chalking up come out of the estate. Maybe you can have your lawyer fees reimbursed because you having to acct is part of settling the estate.
Sorry, you should have kept records of some sort. If you hired aides, records of their hours and salary should have been kept track of. If an agency, you wrote checks to them. The bank statements should say it all. You may just need to explain some of the checks.
Even if you did not hand him over the Executorship, he as a beneficiary could have asked the POA for an accounting. That may not have been done until Probate was being closed. At that time, the Executor has to make an accting of the estate at time of death. What bills had to be paid, proceeds from the house, closing costs, lawyer fees, Title agency fees, etc. That accting is sent to each beneficiary and they sign off. This is the time a beneficiary can contest and ask for an accting of the POA.
As someone else mentioned, you should check with probate court.
I wonder if he is paying himself with the remains of your inheritance by filing a few hours of his time and collecting. Executors are allowed a certain amount of self payment, but this may be unethical.
if you brother had no part in your mother’s care or affairs, WHY did you turn the EXECUTOR position over to HIM after her death? You need a “ professional” answer from a lawyer. This is not the correct place for legal advice. Good luck
it really isn’t necessary to get a lawyer. If the money was spent on his care and living expenses then you have nothing to worry about. People don’t realize the expenses involved in caring for your parents. It all adds up monthly. The food, medicine, mortgage, utilities etc. Show him your receipts or bank statements.
You may just need to consider whether or not to even respond to this, as the Executor, if he suspected fraud on your part while being POA, can open proceedings against you if he or she chooses, and that is on THEM.
See an attorney. You honestly need advice, hourly fee for now, on what to do.
More than anything it will be time consuming but should not be difficult. If you have withdrawals from her account that you cannot recall the purpose, look at other ways of trying to remember what was going on at that particular time. If you have old texts there may be conversations pertaining to things are needed to spend money on etc.
If I were in your shoes I would sit down with him and go through the line by line. Make him a part of this painstaking process!
Throw in comments like
“Oh yes that’s when I had to buy that XYZ for when she fell and had to go to the ER in the middle of the night….”
” That’s when I had to buy that case of special probiotic drink mix and a LOT if extra adult diapers after she had explosive diarrhea for a week! Whew! I sure got tired of cleaning that up every hour!”
” I think that might be for the massaging/heating pad I had to buy when I was staying with her and injured my back trying to lift her after she fell again.”
You get the idea.
if you have a copy of the will and it isn’t filed in court yet/ if he didn’t open estate yet , then you can open estate. Are you named in will as executor but you turned it over to him?
If you provided care to mom and her finances we for her care then there’s no problem. If he has the past bank records now- then just identify what they are for .
he as executor can’t withhold your inheritance if the will states you get it. Call his attorney who opened the estate for him