person may flush between actual dumping then will wipe using the cold water in toilet while still sitting. Then pull up clothes and wipe hands on clothes then wash hands in sink. The wet hands from toilet gets on floor and nearby wall. The smell after each episode is so bad that I have to sanitize the bathroom each time after their use. Due to body functions we use pull ups and check them each time to ensure that they are clean. However some times I don’t check because of the anxiety level patient is exhibiting. I have thought about a bidet but know patient would not use it. Cognitive skills are not always good. She can still walk and talk but reasoning and decision making is not good.
You say she already uses disposable undies so maybe it's time to give up the actual toilet routine?
And it will save you from having to sanitize your bathroom after each time, if the caregiver just does it for this person. It will be a win win for all involved.
The situation you describe is one of those where it’s time to find a care facility where they have professionals who are trained to care for such patients.
Good luck to you.
(You could try a commode or placing a commode bucket in/on/over the toilet so there is no water but the fecal matter will still be within reach. But the commode opening is not as large as a toilet so maybe she could not reach)
The other option is to begin changing her in bed and again give her something to hold on to.
This will get more difficult before it gets easier (when she becomes bedbound)
It might be time to consider placing her in Memory Care
Bowls of vinegar help with smells.