Hello,
My mother, who is 65, has always been mentally ill. She has suffered from anxiety and OCD her whole life, and has always been irrational. But since around June, she is completely out of it -- she doesn't know what's going on, has lost her short-term memory, and is scared to be alone. Even worse, she is extraordinarily obsessive all day long. I fear for my father's health, as he storms out of the house every day out of frustration. He is 71 and I fear he will have a heart attack. To make matters even worse, she is EXTREMELY belligerent, defiant, and emotionally abusive, constantly. She refuses to admit anything is wrong with her and is driving everyone mad, tearing our family apart.
She has seen a neurologist and had MRIs, but they see nothing significant. The doctor suspects she has dementia that has made her mental illness flare up. She is impossible to live with or deal with and it is becoming increasingly apparent she will have to live in a facility (though the doctor wants to test medications first, but I don't have much faith in that route).
Now, my mother is an extremely ill and controlling woman who has a large sum of money tied up in her and my dad's names, along with a house that's paid in full. Before I pursue having her live in a mental health facility, I want to protect their assets. My question is, will the facility take everything she owns as payment? Can we prevent this by putting their assets in a trust in my and my brother's name. And finally, how on earth do we do this when it is guaranteed that she will not under any circumstances allow this, cannot be reasoned with, and will become violent if we even suggest it?
So basically, if you don't have a helpful tip on how to defraud Medicaid and the taxpayers - keep your opinion to yourself?
To be honest no one actually knows the answer to your question but broadly speaking when someone enters a facility long term they have to pay for the care until their assets reach a certain level when they can apply to Medicaid.
Medicaid is administer by the individual States so details may vary, but any couple who has assets has them considered as joint including such things as houses and cars. The community spouse is the one that stays home, and is allowed to keep a certain amount of the joint funds, plus his home, a car and personal effects. You local Medicaid office can give exact details.
Unless you mother has been certified as incompetent, that is unable to control her own affairs she will have the final say in this matter. If she refuses to go no one can make her unless she is deemed to be a danger to herself and others. Even then she probably would only be detained for two days while she is evaluated. If she is still competent enough to behave herself she will be released.
Frankly i don't know what the solution to your problem is but trying to hide money from Medicaid is not one of them. They have extremely long tentacles. I am so sorry for your Dad to be having to go through this but in reality only he has his own solution.
Let me know if I have overstepped the mark and I will be happy to get on with my life. Good luck to you.
I do not approve of hiding assets from Medicaid as all taxpayers end up paying the bill but that is between you and your conscience.
The main problem I think is getting her committed for long term care. It does not sound as though she will go voluntarily. This is a terrible mess at the moment but I think you will be able to get it sorted out and get Dad's sanity back.
If you can find a way when she is behaving badly and clearly presenting a danger and you can call 911 and get her transported to the ER that will be the first step.
Again, thank you for your help.
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