I've been through the caregiver phase with my mother who died of what I think was Vascular Dementia at age 84. I'm 65, now and I'm worried that I will inherit the Dementia from my mother. She started to fail at about age 80. I feel like I should be getting ready to die rather to cram in more living.
I hate to say this, but the caregivers seem to be getting all the attention with old age and Dementia and those who will suffer the problems of old age such as Dementia currently and in the future are forgotten. I was fortunate that I didn't have the problems with my mother that are discussed here. We didn't have any of these problems.
It's true that caregivers are given a lot of attention on this forum, but I assure you, not at the expense of their LOs care. I contend that caring for a LO with one of the dementias is more difficult, stressful, worrisome, emotional, heart breaking, and what ever other emotions you want to add, on the caregiver than the patient. And why is that? Simply because the caregiver IS caring for their LO in giving of their time, living in uncertainty, often sacrificing their job, their friendships, and at times even their families, in order to commit themselves to the needs of their LO. And it's not that the ones with dementia are forgotten, far from it, they are the ones receiving the care, often at the expense of the caregiver's health and sanity.
All caregivers of dementia patients experience life differently. Yours. I'm pleased to hear was manageable. For others, caring for their LO goes far beyond their caregiving capabilities.
1- Alzheimer's
2- Vascular
3- Fronto-temporal dementia
4-Dementia with Lewy bodies
5- Mixed dementia
Only Fronto-temporal dementia has a hereditary potential
Vascular dementia is the result of severe damage to the brain tissue in certain areas of the brain from deficient blood flow. Many times it is associated with multiple small stokes. There is no evidence that it can be inherited.
Occasional forgetfulness in older adults, is very common and is not dementia.
However, from the sounds of things, if you followed the same pattern it would be 15 years off before serious problems occur. Thats a long time. And thats IF it turns out to be hereditary,
Sounds like you have a lot of anxiety about the situation. Maybe its time too make a plan about how to deal with it. then once you have done that you can stop thinking about it and focus on enjoying life as your plan is made.
Yes this forum does focus on caregivers a lot and can probably be hard for people to read when worried about themselves. I think thats because in the real world caregivers cant express any frustration to anyone else about all they are going through. Its socially unacceptable. So they have to come here and vent about it,
I expect caregivers get the most say on the forum because they are looking for info & connection online & stumble across it. There is no age limit or criteria to join - but having some tech skills helps to find it I suppose!
My DH's family had just one person with Alzheimer's generations ago & they all joke & worry they will get it now. No-one has so far.. but my DH doesn't worry. Says he'd rather his mind went than his body. Just to feed him good food & let him muck around in the garden & he'll be happy.
Preventing dementia is advice is the same as for most things: a healthy life, eat healthy, exercise etc. Apparently keeping social helps too. So keep connecting to people, online, in person, social groups, whatever you are interested in.
What have you got planned coming up that you are looking forward to?
As to who gets the attention? Well, those with dementia certainly don't write us, but those struggling to give them the best care they are able given the limitations of being human have proven to me that those with dementia are getting loving care. I know we don't hear about the abandoned or those without families.
We all fear things. That is normal and a part of our makeup. Just don't dwell on it, and if you are doing so, seek the help of a LIcensed Social Worker trained in counseling who can help you comb out ways to think about things and move forward. I am so sorry for the hard loss of your Mom but sounds you did a great job, and it went as well as could be expected.
As a lifelong nurse I wish we were issued a pill for our exit when we wish to make it. When Sarah Palin started going on about death panels my hand was already raised in the air as a volunteer. Like you, I have NO wish to go on to the stage where I must meet these losses of our humanity, our dignity. But we don't have a choice. And when Lewy's Dementia hit my bro I understood that to my core.