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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I'm not sure I'm understanding what you are asking, after reading your profile. You say that you are caring for your husband who lives in pain, and is now verbally abusing you, causing you to lose your confidence and become more introverted. What are you feeling guilty about, and why are you needing a reality check? Your husband should be the one feeling guilty, as he is the one doing something wrong, by verbally abusing you. No one should tolerate that ever. I don't care that he lives in constant pain, (that's no excuse.) So do I, but I would have never dreamed of verbally abusing my husband when he was alive. Men that abuse their woman either physically, or mentally(which is what verbal abuse is)thrive on breaking their woman's confidence, so they can keep them right where they have them, in hopes that they've been beaten down so low, that they won't leave. Please don't continue to tolerate that. Leave if you have to. And get yourself some therapy, so you can gain your confidence back and your self worth. You will be able to 'breathe" a whole lot better then.
You may need to seek professional help if you have no support system to guide you in a realistic manner with whatever you are dealing with. As to guilt, I hate the word. It belongs to felons who do malice aforethought and take great pleasure in the pain of others. I doubt that's you. I think it's another word you need here. That word is grief. You are grieving that you have human limitations, that not everything can be fixed, that there is no good solution, no easy solution and no certain solution to many things in life. While you don't tell us anything about what you are facing down it does seem you just bumped up against your own human limitations. Rest easy, as we ALL have them.
I just read your profile. Why are you feeling guilty?
What are you guilty of? You mention that hubby is abusive towards you. Please explain how that makes you wrong in any way?
If anyone is to feel guilt, it’s hubby, not you.
Guilt is a genuine emotion. It is felt by those who have done something wrong and they feel shame or remorse.
Guilt serves a purpose if it motivates someone who has done something wrong to make amends.
That is not what your profile describes. Your profile points the finger at your husband so let go of your ‘misguided’ guilt. There is no reason for you to feel any type of guilt whatsoever!
Guilt is self conflicted. A person cannot make you fill guilty unless u let them. Take this from a person who always was the one who felt guilty and now, I don't allow myself.
Yes, I lacked patience with my Mom. No not her fault, TG she had short memory loss. When I start to feel guilty, I push it back because out of 3 surviving kids, I was the only one able to do the caregiving. So, I forgave myself for my lack of patience which I got from my Mom.
If you are doing everything possible for your husband, than what do you feel guilty about? Its time to set boundries. Tell him you will not tolerate the abuse. If he continues to do it, walk away. Don't do for him what he is capable of doing. Ask his doctor if consulting with a pain specialist would help. It might be he just needs the right mix of pain meds. But he can't be abusive if there is no one there to abuse. Get out, even if its just to go sit in a park. Window shop, browse a store. Have lunch with the girls. Go to Church. To the library. Don't isolate yourself.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
As to guilt, I hate the word. It belongs to felons who do malice aforethought and take great pleasure in the pain of others. I doubt that's you. I think it's another word you need here. That word is grief. You are grieving that you have human limitations, that not everything can be fixed, that there is no good solution, no easy solution and no certain solution to many things in life.
While you don't tell us anything about what you are facing down it does seem you just bumped up against your own human limitations. Rest easy, as we ALL have them.
What are you guilty of? You mention that hubby is abusive towards you. Please explain how that makes you wrong in any way?
If anyone is to feel guilt, it’s hubby, not you.
Guilt is a genuine emotion. It is felt by those who have done something wrong and they feel shame or remorse.
Guilt serves a purpose if it motivates someone who has done something wrong to make amends.
That is not what your profile describes. Your profile points the finger at your husband so let go of your ‘misguided’ guilt. There is no reason for you to feel any type of guilt whatsoever!
Yes, I lacked patience with my Mom. No not her fault, TG she had short memory loss. When I start to feel guilty, I push it back because out of 3 surviving kids, I was the only one able to do the caregiving. So, I forgave myself for my lack of patience which I got from my Mom.
If you are doing everything possible for your husband, than what do you feel guilty about? Its time to set boundries. Tell him you will not tolerate the abuse. If he continues to do it, walk away. Don't do for him what he is capable of doing. Ask his doctor if consulting with a pain specialist would help. It might be he just needs the right mix of pain meds. But he can't be abusive if there is no one there to abuse. Get out, even if its just to go sit in a park. Window shop, browse a store. Have lunch with the girls. Go to Church. To the library. Don't isolate yourself.