My husband had a stroke about two years ago and has had several surgeries and other medical issues. He does have rides to doc appointments and to dialysis. My caregiving for him is 24 hours 7 days a week. I am burned out and not sure how much longer I can care for him. Peace, dawn1947.
I do what I have to do, including the job. I do the best I can. We cannot afford a nursing home and wouldn’t qualify for Medicaid. We’d lose our home and I’d have to rehome my animals who are my only comfort.
You are not alone. Check his insurance and see if he would qualify for a health aide a few hours a week. We all believe we can’t do it. And then we go ahead and do it.
Is he a candidate for Adult Day Care? This would be good for both of you, he can get socialization and you get a couple free hours a few days a week.
Senior Services may also help with programs as well.
I am sure others will respond with organizations that will help as well.
You should find a Support Group that you can attend, this forum helps a lot but it does help to talk to real people and possibly build connections with people as I am sure you have lost friends since you can not get out easily to go to lunch, a movie...
I feel your pain in many ways, as I am doing the same for my husband.
The roles changed; We “lost” our partner; we are the navigator of life; we are our husband’s strength.
Having said that, our load is so heavy that we MUST get replenished physically, mentally and emotionally. Some things worth looking into:
** Call your town, call your State’s department of Aging, or various religious organizations to find out if they have
a group of volunteers who can visit
your husband so you can perhaps
take a walk for fresh air or just get away a little, or if they can provide funds for paid help at your house.
**Reach out to friends and ask for specific help like bring a meal or
sit with him
**Call Alzeimers AssociationThey give $1,000 for respite. They will explain or guide you elsewhere
** Ask a good neighbor to give you a break if possible
**Talk or write your frustrations out to release them ( this forum is the best)
** Talk with your husband’s Doctors to see if they have or recommend a Social Worker to help YOU
** Try to exercise and meditate even
15-30 minutes a day. Natural endorphins are produced and give you needed euphoria
** Try starting a “Go Fund Me” Hopefully you will get some money to pay a Health Home Aide to assist you.
** Look into some Adult Day care for any volunteers they may have or at approximately $100 a day they may transport him on a wheel chair and keep him for the day, assuming he can be transported.
Please do make some adjustments before you are totally worn out.
Yes we are in this for the long run but this shall pass at some point. Stay strong.
I said a prayer for you.
Sending you hugs 🤗
Have you explored assisted living and home care?
Hugs to you -- it is so (can't find the proper word) when our spouse/life partner/companion in all things becomes our job. My whole life -- waking and "sleeping" hours are taken up with worries of how I can keep doing this ,, emotionally, financially -- I have tapped all resources as you must. Most are not available to us but a few have been -- keep trying.
My friends are my saviors. Do not give up time with friends. They do ask about my husband, and do mean well. A couple would help if I asked. A couple really do understand and are good listeners. Mostly they help me have a "real" life -- dinners out, a book shared, maybe a movie. They are my salvation without always bringing in the care moment.
I just want to offer support -- it is so very hard -- I cry a lot -- I will say be strong but I get tired of being strong.
Oh this is a depressing post, sorry. Embase your friends --