My narcissistic mother lives on my property and I have had wavered between very low contact and no contact due to her abuse. She needs help both physically and mentally. She is on Medicaid and eligible for home aides but there are none available in our rural area. I’m not POA or guardian. So my question is, would calling APS offer any other resources that she is not already getting through her caseworker? Her caseworker says she is not yet eligible for assisted living. But my mother has reached absolute desperation with no caregiver and has threatened me in several ways. Just not sure if I should ignore it and hope the caseworker takes action or if I should notify APS.
(The living situation is complicated because we built her a cottage on our property and gave her a life estate, meaning she can stay there until she chooses to leave or dies. I got so angry at her last week that I told her I want her off our property. But I think my hands are tied at the moment. I have a call in to an attorney to find out what can be done.)
Best to you and wishing you the best of luck as well.
I did call APS yesterday and there is really nothing they can do to help me. More info in reply to burntcaregiver..
Yes, you gave her a life estate and it's stipulated that she can stay in her cottage until she dies or chooses to leave. That does not mean you have to be her caregiver. Or allow her to make threats and behave abusively to you. Call the police when she starts up with the threats. You are for all practical purposes, her landlord.
You don't have her POA, so you're not responsible for her. In fact, you don't even have to let her in your house or onto the surrounding property of your estate. Her 'property' is the cottage. Not the land it's on or whatever other structures you have on it. If she goes outside her cottage, that would be trespassing.
Don't play her games or allow her to threaten you. Don't do anything for her. Nothing at all. Call APS and tell them she's a vulnerable elder who desperately needs help and that you have no legal authority. Also tell them that she threatens you. They will respond. If they don't, call the police every time she makes a threat. The police will certainly put a fire under APS to act.