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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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For several years before my dad died I’d often fill a grocery bag or two with obviously worthless items in his home and put them in the trash while he was napping. He didn’t have an especially trashy home or dementia, I just knew the job of cleaning it out would one day be all on me (and it eventually was) Nothing I threw away was ever noticed or missed. I would never have thrown away anything useful or sentimental. So, no I don’t find it wrong. Maybe something of your mother’s could be of use to others, plus doing it slowly where she won’t notice will be saving you some of the job later.
No, not at all. Throwing away obvious trash and donating items that are no longer of use to her, but useful to someone else is great! My side hustle is reselling, I would resell some of my grandparents items for them and they got the biggest kick out of the strangest things people would buy and what they would pay.
No it's not wrong. I posted in answer to a similar question that I am slowly clearing out excess from my 98 yo mom's house. Older persons with dementia do better in less cluttered environments also. Just don't take anything she may currently need or is attached to. I sometimes take things like cards that I am sick of hearing her reread as well. She gets plenty of new ones all the time and never notices what is missing.
Not wrong and you will not regret it when she does pass away.
My grandma was mentally sound but in a wheelchair and in poor health. Didn’t leave house much. Every closet in her house was crammed with clothes, many still having tags. Had shopping bags full of wrapping paper from gifts she’d received because “the paper is pretty and I like to look at it.” Guess what, she never looked at it again. She had no idea what all she had. When she died it took two months to clean out her house and everyone wished they’d gradually removed things over time.
No find a half way House where People will appreciate the clothes , Pocket Books, shoes . I gave away My Moms good clothes, sweaters , shoes , coats to a schizophrenic Half way House - these people really need clothes .
This reminds me of cleaning out my MIL’s house and garages to sell the property after she passed. The huge chest freezer full of food (we dated some of it from when our children—now in their 30s—were toddlers). The baskets and baskets of canned goods and beverages, most long expired. We used or donated what we could but it made me sick to throw out so much food. And five dumpsters worth plus countless trips to goodwill of non food items as well. No, I don’t think it’s wrong to dispose of things that are not of any use to them.
Technically....yes it is wrong. These are her belongings and she can do with them what she wishes. And if this is a point of contention it is always better to pick the battles that are important. Not worth an argument
Now that is out of the way.... What I would do is this. If you can box up some of the clothes whenever you can. You can "borrow" some You can say "these need to be washed" Never say you are going to get rid of them. This is a great time to go through closets and box up or move "Spring and Summer" clothes out of the main closet.
Dc, just be very mindful of removing her life right in front of her.
I had a dear friend that watched as her daughter slowly but surely removed her life from the home. It was the saddest thing that I have ever heard and I know my precious friend was gutted by it. Her bedroom had no more personal touch then a hospital room. She was powerless to stop any of it because she was dependent on her daughter. Oh, the daughter wasn't asked or put in the caregiver role, she inserted herself, I suppose to get as much of her parents assets as she possibly could regardless of how it affected her mom.
So, all of that to say, be mindful of making mom feel like she is being erased.
I am already doing it. The food is gone, and a lot of the shampoo, soap, carpet cleaner, and laundry detergent is also gone. I was going through their closet and found around 20 toothbrushes, sample toothpastes, and dental flosses that the dentist gives you after you clean your teeth, still in their goody bags. The house has been empty for a year, and if this stuff doesn't get used up it will go bad.
I'd highly recommend this. Do it slowly and do it gradually. She is living in her home and 96. Reduce, reuse, recycle. Others can make use of her clothing.
Dad passed away 5-1/2 years. Mom is in her house with caregivers. I've been slowly clearing things out for 5-1/2 years. It has taken a huge burden off of me.
You don't have to touch Moms personal things. But closets full of clothes she does not need. My Mom was in an AL and later LTC. I picked out nine prs of slacks and tops to match and a couple of nice outfits just in case we went somewhere nice. Then I got rid of the "Mothers" dresses from my brothers' weddings. She had not worn skirts, blouses or dresses in years so they went. My SIL always sent her things she would never wear, they went. I think when you get started you will know what to keep and not. If unsure, keep it.
When people get older, I think its overwhelming for them to "clean out" so they don't. Mom may actually appreciate it.
Since her retirement, my mom was wearing pants day to day and dresses for Sunday and special occasions. But when she became incontinent and needed help with toileting, I found skirts were much easier to deal with. I bought her a selection of easy, tent type dresses and a couple of sturdy denim skirts. Just saying, sometimes dressing preferences can change.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My grandma was mentally sound but in a wheelchair and in poor health. Didn’t leave house much. Every closet in her house was crammed with clothes, many still having tags. Had shopping bags full of wrapping paper from gifts she’d received because “the paper is pretty and I like to look at it.” Guess what, she never looked at it again. She had no idea what all she had. When she died it took two months to clean out her house and everyone wished they’d gradually removed things over time.
Now that is out of the way....
What I would do is this.
If you can box up some of the clothes whenever you can.
You can "borrow" some
You can say "these need to be washed"
Never say you are going to get rid of them.
This is a great time to go through closets and box up or move "Spring and Summer" clothes out of the main closet.
I had a dear friend that watched as her daughter slowly but surely removed her life from the home. It was the saddest thing that I have ever heard and I know my precious friend was gutted by it. Her bedroom had no more personal touch then a hospital room. She was powerless to stop any of it because she was dependent on her daughter. Oh, the daughter wasn't asked or put in the caregiver role, she inserted herself, I suppose to get as much of her parents assets as she possibly could regardless of how it affected her mom.
So, all of that to say, be mindful of making mom feel like she is being erased.
I am saving a ton of money on toiletries.
I'd highly recommend this. Do it slowly and do it gradually. She is living in her home and 96.
Reduce, reuse, recycle. Others can make use of her clothing.
Dad passed away 5-1/2 years. Mom is in her house with caregivers. I've been slowly clearing things out for 5-1/2 years. It has taken a huge burden off of me.
Go for it. Slowly and gradually.
When people get older, I think its overwhelming for them to "clean out" so they don't. Mom may actually appreciate it.