My grandma has a conservator and gaurdian but when I was boxing up all her paperwork from house I found a purple book with my grandparents name and what they want to wear at their funeral, what music they want played, and in my grandpa's hand writing it says "" IF MY WIFE CANT MAKE DECISIONS ON HER OWN I APPOINT JOHN DOE TO MAKE DECISIONS FOR HER" BUT her conservator and gaurdian ignored me again and didn't wanna hear it and still haven't asked for it what do I do ? Also my grandma is a wife to a World War 2 veteran private first class who passed 15 years ago
But okay, I'll bite...
Who is John Doe? - what is this person's relationship with your late grandfather and your grandma? Is John Doe dissatisfied with current arrangements for your grandmother? Would John Doe even want to be involved in or responsible for her wellbeing?
And who is/are the conservator and guardian? Do you have any issue with the job they're doing?
I'm not sure that her husband's Veteran status has any bearing on who acts as proxy, whether it's a guardian or conservator. However, I don't know all the ramifications of someone who might act on behalf of a Veteran's widow.
Are you asking about getting care, or getting an alternate guardian or conservator through the VA?