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My mom seems to be fine most of the time But when it comes to taking a shower or going to the doctor, all of a sudden she feels dizzy and not feeling good and just wants to go lay down. She is 87 and I just don't know what to do.
Ah, sounds like your Mom is having a panic attack. I know how she feels, it can happen to me.... calming meds have helped, so can being distracted to keep one's mind off of the panic :)
All it takes is one or two times to feel panic while in the shower, and one will feel it all the time there after. For some elders, they start to feel claustrophobic in a shower. If there are glass doors, keep the far door opened about a foot or so. And there is always that feel of falling, so make sure there is a rubber shower mat. See if Mom would prefer to do a bath once in awhile.
Question, does Mom not like going outside to other places beside the doctors?
... but if you're going out for lunch or to the hairdresser she's absolutely fine?
If she's generally okay standing, walking, getting into bed, getting out of bed and so on, then it sounds as if this is her polite, non-confrontational way of telling you to get lost when you ask her to do something she's not keen on.
But she can't not do those two important chores at all, so the thing to do is rule out possible problems and then make the processes as comfortable as you can, and help her through them gently but firmly.
One important thing to check: is she avoiding these two particular items on the agenda because she's worried about a personal or painful problem? Soreness in the undercarriage, a skin condition, that kind of thing?
I'm with CM on this one; both things involve getting undressed and it is possible that something is going on, as CM says, "with the undercarriage".
Some folks on here have suggested taking mom to lunch and then casually stopping by the doctor (you have an appointment, your just don't tell her). Would that work?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
All it takes is one or two times to feel panic while in the shower, and one will feel it all the time there after. For some elders, they start to feel claustrophobic in a shower. If there are glass doors, keep the far door opened about a foot or so. And there is always that feel of falling, so make sure there is a rubber shower mat. See if Mom would prefer to do a bath once in awhile.
Question, does Mom not like going outside to other places beside the doctors?
If she's generally okay standing, walking, getting into bed, getting out of bed and so on, then it sounds as if this is her polite, non-confrontational way of telling you to get lost when you ask her to do something she's not keen on.
But she can't not do those two important chores at all, so the thing to do is rule out possible problems and then make the processes as comfortable as you can, and help her through them gently but firmly.
One important thing to check: is she avoiding these two particular items on the agenda because she's worried about a personal or painful problem? Soreness in the undercarriage, a skin condition, that kind of thing?
Some folks on here have suggested taking mom to lunch and then casually stopping by the doctor (you have an appointment, your just don't tell her). Would that work?