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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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My husband has dementia, cancer, and is addicted to the tv show Blue Bloods! He is constantly asking what day it is so he can look in the TVGuide to see when it is on. I bought a dry-erase board and every day I write on it what the day is, when B.B. is on and the channel number. This helps somewhat......until he can't remember where we keep the board; then it is "where is the board?". You have to be able to laugh or you will cry (which I sometimes do).
I would tell myself that I was in a contest and that the more I repeated something, the more points I got. Just a mind thing to keep sane. lol And if it helps, that stage may end. It did with my loved one. She no longer repeats things at all, but I think it's because she doesn't initiate conversation anymore. So, either way, it's sad.
My husband watches The Andy Griffith Show for hours at a time. I record them for him, and he can watch an episode and immediately watch the same one over, and never realize he is watching the episode that just went off. At least, it's harmless and it keeps him entertained!
For some of us, it helps to repeat (like a mantra) "this isn't my loved one talking -- this is the disease."
It can also help to learn everything you can about dementia and to see the behaviors in the context of a damaged brain.
But it is hard. It is really hard! And frustrating! I doubt anyone can tolerate this with perfect serenity all the time. Cut yourself some slack. You are not perfect.
But if you are going to care for a loved one with dementia you'll need an improved tolerance level to survive. I hope you will get some suggestions here. These are mine: 1) Learn all you can about your loved one's disease 2) Join a support group of other caregivers going through what you are experiencing. 3) Know that the disease changes as it progresses, and the behavior that is driving you nuts now will most likely go away and be replaced with something else. This won't last forever.
Hang in there! Remember the "love" in "loved one."
MsMadge, I know what you mean, my sig other is able to "play along" with my Dad when Dad is showing sundowners.... but for me I find it very difficult as it is too emotional for me.
Plus over all these years of dealing with parents who were very stubborn and who wouldn't dig into their savings to make life easier for them and for me, my patience eroded away :(
Deep cleansing breaths. And lots of them. Breathe and exhale. Repeat. You do not need to answer every time a question is asked. Pause. Breathe. Point something else out like a beautiful tree that's in bloom. Turn on the radio and sing. Steer the person away from the fixation toward something else.
PAgal, Blue Bloods?! OMG, my Dad loves that silly show. He can't follow the plot in the least but he'll sit glued to the tv for the whole show and watch the same one again the next day. It's the damnnest thing........
WindyRidge: my hubby watches nothing but that show. Thursdays they are on ALL DAY!! I record them so that he has something to watch on other days. I think he watches them so much that he doesn't have to concentrate on the plot because he has seen all the reruns so often. He will watch one, then sleep through 3, then start all over again. Day after day after............etc.
Just heard from my moms sitter that everyone but my mom is enjoying an episode of golden girls
Since I picked up a pie and whipped cream for the late night crowd tonight I hope I'm not tempted to point the whipped cream canister in her direction
I have noticed that keeping little mini candy bars (especially mounds) and even peanuts in the shell soothes anyone when they're having a bad day - cracking nuts must be good therapy - keeps their hands busy
It helps to find humor in it somehow which if you're tired or not a patient sort is difficult - depending on the question it can sometimes help to write the answer on an index card or notepad of course then you might have to remind the person to look at the note - ha ha
My good friend always changes the answer a bit each time my mom asks her the same question repeatedly - I've never been one to lie to her but more and more in finding that to be necessary - especially when the question is "when can I go home"?
But as noted above - one day this behavior will change - many folks at my moms memory care facility can't even speak
I always find it a bit infuriating that others can respond to my mother better than me at times - last night for instance when I tried to help her get up out of a chair she snapped at me - when her favorite caregiver arrived she started complaining to her about me saying I'm tormenting her - does she really think that ? Maybe but this caregiver now spends more time with her than I do and lord knows since she's 30 years younger than me probably has far more patience than me too
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It can also help to learn everything you can about dementia and to see the behaviors in the context of a damaged brain.
But it is hard. It is really hard! And frustrating! I doubt anyone can tolerate this with perfect serenity all the time. Cut yourself some slack. You are not perfect.
But if you are going to care for a loved one with dementia you'll need an improved tolerance level to survive. I hope you will get some suggestions here. These are mine:
1) Learn all you can about your loved one's disease
2) Join a support group of other caregivers going through what you are experiencing.
3) Know that the disease changes as it progresses, and the behavior that is driving you nuts now will most likely go away and be replaced with something else. This won't last forever.
Hang in there! Remember the "love" in "loved one."
Plus over all these years of dealing with parents who were very stubborn and who wouldn't dig into their savings to make life easier for them and for me, my patience eroded away :(
Since I picked up a pie and whipped cream for the late night crowd tonight I hope I'm not tempted to point the whipped cream canister in her direction
I have noticed that keeping little mini candy bars (especially mounds) and even peanuts in the shell soothes anyone when they're having a bad day - cracking nuts must be good therapy - keeps their hands busy
My good friend always changes the answer a bit each time my mom asks her the same question repeatedly - I've never been one to lie to her but more and more in finding that to be necessary - especially when the question is "when can I go home"?
But as noted above - one day this behavior will change - many folks at my moms memory care facility can't even speak
I always find it a bit infuriating that others can respond to my mother better than me at times - last night for instance when I tried to help her get up out of a chair she snapped at me - when her favorite caregiver arrived she started complaining to her about me saying I'm tormenting her - does she really think that ? Maybe but this caregiver now spends more time with her than I do and lord knows since she's 30 years younger than me probably has far more patience than me too
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