My 91 year old Grandmother has recently started having delusions that her neighbors are after her and are starting fires in the middle of the night on her roof. She is under doctors' care, who haven't been able to diagnose her yet (this is all still very new). She calls 911 and the fire dept at least 2x a week... I've tried to tell them not to come, but they come and they are angry! This has been going on for 5 months. They keep telling us to put her in a home WELL, IT'S NOT THEIR G'MA AND THEY ARE NOT MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS SO THEIR OPINION is based on them being "put out". She has nighttime care so she's not scared. She still pays her bills, baths, laundry, cleans house, emails me, etc. and does not want a "baby sitter" during the day, which I understand AND respect. But.... I don't know how to keep her from calling 911... Any advise is appreciated!
Here are some ideas short of taking the phone away. Can your grandmother call you or another family member first, if she's thinking there's something going on at night? Can you reassure her that she's OK and nothing bad is happening? Since you say she has a caregiver at night, is the caregiver aware that she's calling? Can she speak to the fire dept or 911 people to explain that there is nothing going on? Or could the caregiver walk your grandmother outside to see there isn't a fire on the roof?
Or as a last resort, can your grandmother's docs give her some medications so that she sleeps through the night? On the Mayo Clinic site, they mention melatonin as a possible aid to sleep disturbances with people with sundowning.
In most places that I'm aware of, the police/fire departments will start charging people for coming to false calls. If your grandmother is like a lot of older folks and is concerned about money, maybe telling her she'll start being charged for the calls may slow her down if she's able to remember that.
You will receive some very outrageous or off-the-wall answers. Just pick and choose which ones apply. Pstiegman was giving you the worst case scenario. Blannie gave you the most helpful answer. Macada gave you an answer that you didn't want since you've been told this several times - and you were seeking New Answers.
My father has the same problem with the phone. He calls all the time the hospital, the clinic, the home care store, the surveyor, etc... He used to call the 911 operator. Out flew MY "respect your elder" attitude. We got into an argument over the misusing of calling 911. I finally drummed it into his head that as long as he DOES NOT call 911, he will have the phone near his hospital bed. But if I find out he's calling 911, I'm taking the phone away. He has not called 911 since. But his situation is very different from your grandmother.
We each have our way of dealing with those of dementia or senility or whatever is in our situation. Just take the answers that you like and respond. Trust me, you have NOT felt some of the posters here on AC who actually attack you. You will know it when you read it. Then I would say, gloves off and go at that poster.
I'm going to tell her she's going to start getting charged... love that idea, hope it works! I doubt it will, but I'm praying!
If she is capable of complete self care, it is would be strange that the only odd behavior she exhibits is the paranoia and calling 911. You might want to delve a little deeper because she probably is not self caring and handling things as well as it appears to you on the surface. She is 91 and dementia symptoms are different in each case.
Before her husband passed Mom's husband (at 85) seemed normal too, then we found out how much money he was sending to different charities he got in the mail, etc.
Mom at 91 seemed to be fine living in a house, on her own. But little by little we began to notice little "quirks". We finally got her to move to AL, and the "quirks" increased with age (writing notes all over the place, moving things around, figuring her checkbook over and over, calling the desk and reporting the housekeeper stole her jewelry, her clothes, her purse. She began to hide her purse and her jewelry.
What I'm saying is, this is the first sign that your family needs to start researching because she will be heading for AL eventually.
Also, if she continues to call 911, there could be consequences, financially for her. It could also mean they will eventually report her to social services to intervene if you don't.
I understand you want her to have her freedom and independence as long as she can, but it is going to mean she needs more oversite from family to protect her.
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