my sibling lived close to my mom and was there for her after my dad past away. i live about 45 mins. from mom's house and didn't get there as often as I would have liked. Although I spoke to her 4 or more times a day. She came to me when she was broke and told me she lent my brother money for bills and frivilous things and he wasn't paying her back...she had no money. When I found out he started paying her $200.00 a month...that stopped when he lost his job. She then decided she was going to move in with him once she sold her house. All the while the antiques started moving to his house before her. The car also got put in his name (for his son). Both he and I are erxecutors of my mom's estate - she has now passed. He told me she told him he didn't owe her anymore money because she brought her meals at night...oh and all the while he decides which antiques are going to his house. Also, his daughter was taken a truck load of stuff from the house to Georgia. Mom never told me about the car, or the calling off the debt he owed her. My brother had no money to help pay for the funeral so my lil brother and me split the expense. Is there any legal recourse?
So Dimm what's the RM situation?
Good information.
We had been leery of RM's, then got offered a "really good deal"--[yeah, right!]
The more we dug into it, the worse it looked...
And not even based on how bloated the Real Estate Market had gotten.
Nope.
This had to do with Clayton Homes, which sells new manufacutred homes, and, with the "magnanimous" generosity of [Warren Buffet?][which mega mogul owns most of the manufactured housing industry?]
Anyway, he's made it "so simple" for anyone 62 and up, to get a brand new mfg home, complete with site development, on property of at least $75K, and do it as an RM.
But...
they will not give out a contract so land owners can take it to an outside lawyer;
their track record of shoddy workmanship looks terrible;
their contracts are worded to prevent anyone getting satisfactoin from the company when workmanship is bad--caveat emptor!
That's just out the gate.
Then once the place is built, an appraiser that is affiliated with that company, or one of their holdings, comes out to evaluate it.
The deal is that, by over-estimating the value, it bloats the contract value, ultimately making it impossible to sell to a relative, nor on the open market---the company evaluated it, so by taking possession of it, they upltimately profit on it, no matter what the market, and they still didn't have to make the repairs they manufactured into it.
Not good--and still perpetrating the games that put our economy in the trenches.
Yep--you got it nailed.
Real Estate is tough item. Unless that house sells for full value, and it is over what is owned the RM, it's a costly process she will not likely get recompensed for.
Guess I was too optimistic when she said there was probably some profit there.
Family "friction" is a disaster from which few recover.
Yep it's not for wimps.
Dimm - what is the situation on the reverse mortgage? Has the lender been made aware of the death and have they sent a letter regarding termination of the RM?
Personally, if they don't know she's dead, I'd hold off on telling them but NOT spend the RM monthly (this goes into the same account as before death if you can) and do this till you enter probate and post letters. Once the property is in probate they are limited to what they can demand and gives you a better negotiating position.
Is the house in a "negative equity" situation? You say there might be a small gain - is that based on current comps on real estate or wishful thinking? I'd find out from a Realtor what the likely sale of the property will bring. You can easily contact 3 Realtors to come to look at the property and do a workup as often they are looking for new business. What I've found is that often sellers aren't aware of the costs involved in selling, especially in today's buyers market. Say the house can sell for 100K but the seller costs run 18K, so you really have only 82K. If it's negative to the RM, you can use this to negotiate with them to accept less and to provide the release documents in a timely manner.
Hopefully the RM value is close to accurate.
Chi - you know both Bank of American and Wells Fargo got out of the RM bidness last year. They were like 50%+ of the market. I bet BoA and WF was bleeding cash because so much of the existing RM were negative equity as they were done in the go-go real estate years before 2005.
And it might be time to sever relationship with that bad brother. Sometimes there is no other way to deal with it--keeping up relations with him after what he's done, is like repeatedly throwing oneself against a brick wall.
IF one is strongly Spiritual-minded, it is possible to turn one's perspective around [eventually] to letting it all go--you never owned those things, so it really is about the "principle" of it.
It might be a GOOD IDEA to get your "bad bro" removed as executor, since he already pretty much cleaned Mom out.
But that only leaves the sale of her Encumbered [reverse mortgaged] house.
But if you can get a bit of profit off selling htat, to repay your out-of-pocket expenses, that is something.
And it still leaves you with grieving loss of relations with family, that that one brother broke to bits.
It is very hard to deal with, and I have seen it too often, and experienced that myself...it is heart-breaking.
Do what you can to get him removed as executor, use bank statements showing he already got plenty, to get that done.
Then do the best you can to sell that house for a profit--I dearly hope it does--tooo often, Reverse Mortgages are "over-valuated", meaning the lender paid out more than the place was worth, leaving it impossible to sell for a profit, nor for any relatives to manage to buy it.
Do what you can to take care of you.
If it means parting ways with the blighter, do it.
Managing estates is not for wimps, and it really highlights why agencies and lawyers make such profits at doing it!
My suggestion is to move on and cease contact with your brother if you choose to do it. You and your little brother have paid for the funeral and burial expenses and that is all you can do. Someday you might find a few "antiques" or tokens show up in your garage. So be it. God Bless you.
Now you have to do an inventory of the estate and file it. I'd include every item that was there including all the items that he and his children have taken. This will require a lot of work on your part to substantiate it but depending on what she had and documentation you could come up with $$$$. Then you file that. You may have it to the point that they owe the estate. That at least will help balance whatever is left to you and the other brother. Probate is open court so it will be there for anyone to see. If you live in a small town, it will make for good reading.
Could embarrass him or he could be the type who doesn't care.
Get statements that show mom;s assets as of the day she died. I'm going to guess that he has taken $ from her account(s). Then file that to show that brother had benefitted from the estate and not as per her will. As in the above, you are creating documentation to show unsuitability (to remove him as co-executor) and that he owes the estate.
The funeral and burial are expenses of the estate and you & your little brother should file those as a debt of the estate and reimbursed from the estate.
About the loan, you are kinda s...out of luck on that if there is no notarized paperwork or legal contract.
Now if there is really truly no $ and no assets (like if the antiques are more flea market collectibles rather than items that an auction house would sell) , then doing all this will actually cost you money as there will be no estate funds.
Is the any $$ left from the sale of the home? Is there medical debt?