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I employed in-home caregivers for both my parents. Before I hired them, the caregiver was me. The postings on here that question whether their care would take more than a few hours a week astonish me. Do you not have any idea? Keep in mind that these people aren't well. They're old and crabby. Also anything that needs to be done for them takes much longer than it would for a well person. Just putting on their clothes can take 45 minutes or more in the morning if they're not cooperative.

Wake them up. Get them their medicine, make sure they take it instead of hiding it in their cheeks. Put them on the toilet or bedpan, hope they can produce something. Answer their phone, take a message. Get them off the toilet. Change their Depends and clothes. Get them to the food somehow. They won't use their walker. You support them, they fall, or almost, You get them up again, get them to a chair. It may be a special chair and you must secure them. Fix breakfast. They don't want breakfast. Give them more pills. Sort out next week's pills. Answer their phone. Check appointments, who is coming today? The PT? OT? Nurse? Doctor? Neighbor bringing cookies that always make the patient sick. Answer their phone. Give them their phone. They drop the phone as you are putting their dirty sheets from the night before in the washer (you just took them off the bed). They talk on the phone. They forget who they were talking to. You wheel them to the TV. They can't hear it. Change their hearing aid batteries. Drop one on the floor. Scramble around looking for it as patient complains they can't hear the TV, what have you done to it? You find the battery, give patient their hearing aids, gets them in wrong ears. You fix it. She complains she still can't hear the TV. You change the channel, the remote doesn't work for her. She wants water. You get water. The neighbor comes with the cookies and brings her own coffee. She spills it, you get rags. Hide the cookies. You then put detergent in the washing machine and start it. Neighbor goes. Doctor's office calls to confirm tomorrow's appointment. You'd like to get gas in the car today and go to the grocery store but can't go out until patient's niece comes to stay with her while you go. Call niece. She can't come today. Patient says you never brought the water. You did, but she forgot. You put the glass in her hand. She wants to talk. You need to take something out of the freezer for dinner, so you talk and then go to the kitchen. You sweep the floor and put breakfast dishes in the DW. Patient wants to watch The Price Is Right. You tell her it's not on yet. She wants to get out of her chair. You help her, then she wants to get back in again. She wants to watch a video, you put it on, maybe you can take a shower while she watches. But then the bug people come to spray the house. Patient gets scared of the bug people, you don't get a shower, you sit down to relax. It's only 9:30 a.m.

Day in and day out.
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Moddie May 2023
Fawnby - you sum it up nicely! And that’s only til 9:30 am! 🥰 ((Actually, if I weren’t taking care of MY mom, I’d be tempted to contact Alexander16 and offer to help care for his mom if it meant being in NYC! My favorite place 💜))
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Holy cow! You are looking for free full time care, cooking, laundry, cleaning and food prep for your 90 yo mother with "memory issues" in exchange for a free bedroom in an apartment?????????? Do you realize the salary this person would demand in ADDITION to a very large bedroom?????? Are you serious or am I missing something here?

Profile:
I am caring for my mother Adrienne, who is 90 years old, living at home with age-related decline.

About Me
I live in Spain, with my wife. I am in NYC until the 6th of June.

I am looking to offer my mother's second very large bedroom, in a 24 hr doorman building on 91st Street and Amsterdam Ave., free of rent, for someone who can keep an eye on her, help with house cleaning, laundry, shopping and some food prep. She is a very healthy 90 years old, but she has memory issues and needs help.

I hope to find help on this site from shared experiences.

You are posting on a worldwide chat forum for caregivers to elderly loved ones. Mostly burned out and looking for support.
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Call me cheap or experienced after running a business for many years, I question the value of live in care. The purpose is to keep them clean ( diaper changes and bath) feed them and make them comfortable. How long does that really take? You may spend an hour or two a day doing these things. What will they do the rest of the day, clean the house? Unless you have a 10k sqft house it should only take an hour or so a week that is what I would paid my house keeper when I had one. If you really do not want to be bothered consider a facility.
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KaleyBug May 2023
They should do all you described and a good care person will interact with them when they are not doing the above. Otherwise like you say in an 8 hr shift they probably do about 4 hrs max of work and get pd for 8. But memory care they maybe get 6-8 hrs care in a 24 hr period and you pay more then their income allows.
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1.. Remove information as to your location.
2. If you are offering free rent in exchange for caregiving you also have to pay someone a salary. "Room and board" is not exchange for work.
3. This forum is not an employment agency. You need to contact a Caregiving Agency in your area. Or Place mom in Assisted Living for her safety. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging and see if she is entitled to any services. If her husband was a Veteran or if she was the VA may be of help.
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We are not an agency. We are an international forum of Caregivers sharing our experiences.

You will need to contact an agency in NYC. And there are laws protecting live-ins. They do not work 24/7. Room and board cannot be exchanged for work. Its included in the contract. They must be paid. You will need someone to fill in when live-in takes time off. An agency will do the taxes needed. If you hire privately, you must deduct taxes and see they get to the correct federal agency. This may mean hiring a payroll company or CPA.
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This is a caregiver support group.
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You need to be prepared to find someone at a moments notice if that person leaves or gets sick.
Overtime?
The live in needs days off and legally cannot work 24/7.
Taxes?
Workmans comp?
WI'll the caregiver be abusive?
Read this too...
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/hiring-in-home-caregiver-affects-taxes-171023.htm
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Hi Alexander,

Try going to Care.com for private hire. Although the interview process from a far is not easy but with patience and much process you will find someone capable. You will definitely need to pay their salary or hourly rate. Homepay.com can also help you to know your rights as an employer. Or going to an agency but those rates are so much higher, $500 to $700 a day for 24/7 in home care. State and Federal taxes is unfortunately a requirement.

There is no way around it if your MIL is not covered with Medicaid. Good luck to you. 🍀
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Alexander16: We are a caregiving forum, offering support for caregivers.
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WOW and WOW. Are you hoping to hire 2 people or just 1 person? How will you do a 40 hour work week?

Does your Mom go to a senior center or senior day care during the day?

First, I'd be worried about theft and making sure she is okay. Is the condo outfitted with cameras? Does your Mom have any friends?

Do the friends or have any advice on where to find someone? I would think you would want a person with impeccable references. Does the person need to be bilingual?

I'm thinking that you would want a nanny, for an older person. Your request is way out-of-my-league.

Sorry.
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