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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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My 3 brothers have passed away and I'm the only one left to take care of my mom. She has vascular dementia. I want to look at photo albums with her but my brothers are in most of the pictures. What do I tell her when she asks where they are?
My cousin, who has Vascular Dementia, hardly ever asks where people are, but, we enjoy looking at photos of deceased family members just the same. One day, she asked where her parents are (They have been dead for many years.) . I hesitated for a second, (I was not going to tell her the truth) and she said, I'm not sure if they are living. Then, I said, they are living in our hearts forever and she looked so relieved. She said yes, that's right and we moved on. You could just say that brother couldn't be there that day, but, you would let him know about the visit.
I wouldn't avoid the family photos. I talk and share things with my cousin, even though, I'm not sure if she really remembers the stories that I tell. I talk about our fun road trips, where we lost our reservation and ended up at some swanky hotel. Or how we got front row seats at a concert, picked flowers at my grandmother's house, got hot dogs at my aunt's store, etc. She loves those stories, but, I have no idea if she really recalls them or not. It's just the sharing and warm feelings that count.
Sagebrush, one can use what is called "therapeutic lies" when taking care of an person who has dementia. Thus, if your Mom ask there are her sons, just make up some excuse that you think she would understand.... like they are busy at home, or on a trip, etc.
I know one shouldn't tell someone with dementia that a loved one had passed otherwise that person would grieve all over again.... and again each time they are told as in their mind they are hearing this for the first time.
Oh how I wished I would have gone through photo albums with my parents to find how "who are these people?". But, of course, so many times old photos had been boxed away not to be found until one's parents had passed.
freqflyer is right. You don't have to tell your mom your brothers have died if you think she'll accept another explanation (they're away on business, they moved away, etc).
You can also pull out pictures from the album that don't have your brothers in them and look through them with your mom thus avoiding the conversation about where your brothers are.
Do whatever you think will cause less stress for your mom.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You could just say that brother couldn't be there that day, but, you would let him know about the visit.
I wouldn't avoid the family photos. I talk and share things with my cousin, even though, I'm not sure if she really remembers the stories that I tell. I talk about our fun road trips, where we lost our reservation and ended up at some swanky hotel. Or how we got front row seats at a concert, picked flowers at my grandmother's house, got hot
dogs at my aunt's store, etc. She loves those stories, but, I have no idea if she really recalls them or not. It's just the sharing and warm feelings that count.
I know one shouldn't tell someone with dementia that a loved one had passed otherwise that person would grieve all over again.... and again each time they are told as in their mind they are hearing this for the first time.
Oh how I wished I would have gone through photo albums with my parents to find how "who are these people?". But, of course, so many times old photos had been boxed away not to be found until one's parents had passed.
You can also pull out pictures from the album that don't have your brothers in them and look through them with your mom thus avoiding the conversation about where your brothers are.
Do whatever you think will cause less stress for your mom.