Hi all, I'm not sure where to post this or where to even go, so if there is somewhere else, I should check, please let me know.
My father is 72 and retired on disability. He is unable to walk and barely able to transfer to the commode. He is a very large man and suffers from lymphedema of the legs. He is on social security and draws under $25k. Currently, most of his money goes to general bills.
We have a person who lives in the house and has generally been taking care of him. My father pays him $400 a month, pays for his cell phone, car insurance, a vehicle to drive, Doctor's bills, medication and, and a place to stay.
The caretaker has lived with him for about 20 years, is not a US Citizen (he has a green card) and has no other job. He has diabetes and blood pressure issues and has been going to a local clinic to see a doctor and get the prescription he needs. We provided him a letter explaining his situation, which allowed him to get the services cheaply.
According to him, the clinic will no longer accept this letter because it does not show where he is paying taxes. As he is capable of working, he must get a job and pay income taxes to keep getting his medicine.
We have talked to a tax lawyer, who has said that Dad will need to start treating the caregiver as an employee and paying things like unemployment tax, taking out social security, and providing a w-4. The "Benefits" and lodging would need to be calculated in his income...
If this occurs, then it is going to cost my father and the live-in caregiver a lot more. As my father has such a fixed income, he cannot afford this, and we will lose his caregiver. We do not want to send him to a nursing home, as he is better off at home.
Edit: The caregiver only helps him transfer to the commode, back, and laundry. we have a service come in to help clean him, and my brother and I take care of his food and other needs.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.
That's where I would have sent you.
I wonder about this medication thing as it seems to be the deal breaker here? There are almost always cheaper generic medications for blood pressure. For diabetes, if we are talking insulin, it is expensive now.
I think at this point following up with the medication problem and how to get it without this horrible cost is the way to go. I would check out what clinics are available for this gentleman; I would think his doctors would know?
I honestly am at a loss her, and reaching, because you have already done what I would advise which is to see an attorney. I can surely see why his advice simply iisn't doable.
Sadly, despite what your father "wants", given his condition his currently way of managing his care is not working, and will not--it seems--work in future. He may require placement. I am so sorry. I worry also for his caregiver who may now end homeless, without real job history, and ill.
In my home state (MN) a caregiver is never considered 'independent", even a PT one. They are always an employee. It's a ridiculous law, but a law nonetheless.
His aging and ailing boarder, with barely any income, will eventually have his own crisis and won't be able to take care of himself, no less your Father. Without citizenship he doesn't have Medicare and won't be able to get Medicaid (I think). He absolutely must talk to an immigration attorney.
I'm not sure what other advice you want... we can't (and shouldn't) tell you to knowingly break laws. There are consequences. Yes, care is very expensive. Is your Father now on Medicaid? If he's retired then he's not on disability anymore. If he went to LTC it would be paid for by Medicaid. Then you and your brother won't need to orbit around him any longer, and his boarder will need to figure things out for himself. He's had 20 years to do that and didn't. That's not your or your Father's problem. It will be messy until it gets sorted out -- but it won't be able to stay the same going forward. One of them will have a health or financial crisis that will force a different pathway. If you help your Dad make hard decisions now, at least he may have some control over his future. If everyone puts their heads in the sand and avoids making uncomfortable and difficult decisions, then you will get swept along in the current and possibly lose all control.
Your Father should maybe start by having a discussion with a social worker to see what his other options are. I wish you all the best as you help him make choices.
I understand that your father has a limited amount of money.
I don’t understand why he and his caregiver would feel that their current situation is beneficial for either of them.
Call Council on Aging in your area. Allow them to do an assessment of your father’s needs. Adjust his care accordingly.
The caregiver is not benefiting from this arrangement. Both, your dad and the caregiver should be looking towards their future.
Council on Aging can help you plan for your father’s future. The caregiver will have to decide what is best for his future.
I know that you want to keep your father at home, but it would be a good idea to look at facilities. You could act as your father’s advocate and oversee his care.