Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My husband does this every time we are in a store of any kind. He will look at something that we have at home and say I like this, we should buy it. I will then say but we have one at home. He will then reply but we need a new one.. If I then say we don't need another one, he will shrug his shoulders and put on a very angry face and walk away until he sees another thing that he likes. This has been going on for about 4 months now, I don't know what causes it. The result is he is then mad at me. He is mad at me almost all the time any more anyway. If I say anything that differs from what he is saying I am wrong and he is right. He acts like why would I question what he says. He will say don;t say that is wrong "I know what I am talking about and don't say I don't" Then he will be angry and sulk for the rest of the day.
My dad is a bit different, he doesn't want to replace things he has but does want to buy things he doesn't need and is a bit of a hoarder. He's always been like that but now I figure it's worse because he's trying to fill the space left by the loss of so many things (independence, my Mom, the apartment he lived in for so many years). The only thing I can think of is to try to find other ways to fill the space--fun activities, things he can enjoy like nice drives, writing exercises, arts and crafts, etc. Hasn't worked for my dad but maybe you can find something that will help your loved one.
Yes, it's common. My cousin would order 50 air freshners at once, for no real reason. She would buy 3 containers, when she needed one. It was frustrating, but she was so stubborn. There wasn't much I could do.
Later on she became quarrelsome, confused, etc. Depending on the stage of dementia, it really is no reason to discuss it with them or convince them to change. They aren't going to get the problem or stop doing it. I'd just limit their access to funds and keep them happy as possible. If they are mobile, they could go to the Dollar Tree store with $10.00. That might entertain them without too much cost.
My dad always wants to buy expensive things. The problem is he has a hard time using things like the computer so he figures he needs a different kne that's easier. Or he wants a new guitar because he got it in his head that his (perfectly good one) doesn't work well. But they can't be a cheap version it has to be the top quality. He always guilts my mom every time she buys stuff saying you always say no to me but then you buy other things. The point is a new one won't fix the problem, the problem is his ability to use them but he can't see that. He also researched things like crazy to find then best one possible. My mom needs to buy anew car but to involve him would madness. Now she feels guilty about going behind his back but he will end up researching it like crazy and driving her nuts. He will also make her feel so bad after she gets it because he wants things. It's like a regression to childlike self centered ways. So hard to know what to do.
Dbalisch, Does your mom understand how dementia works? Maybe, if she read some articles about it, she might realize that it's the disease that causes the bizarre behavior, poor judgment, etc. It's up to us to help protect them from their behavior. We shouldn't feel guilty. We are doing the right thing. When we do the right thing, we should have peace with it.
This is difficult to deal with, especially if they go ahead and buy it. Explain firmly that a new item is not needed. This does not get better, but the focus cancshange, The memory will be come worse, and your loved one may forget to want newer things, and may forget to be angry. Pray for this option!
She does understand how dementia works it's just that he is always upset with her and it wears on her. She can't possibly Satisfy these things so it's an ongoing cycle. I know she's doing te right thing aand so does she. I guess it's just hard to go from being a wife to being a caregiver. Guilt has to be a part of that to some degree when you have to parent your husband. It's all fairly new so I'm sure she will grow and learn. I try to tell her to just give it to him straigjt and tell Him that's how it has to be but easier said then done 😊Fortunately my dad does not have access to the money. I guess it's just nice to know we aren't alone.
Nobody else has mentioned this yet but little white lies work. Tell loved one that he/she purchased one the last time in the store. Or put it in the buggy and remove it when their attention is elsewhere. If they notice, tell him he changed his mind. He remembered he didn't like it when he bought it the last time. Make it his idea and tell him what a good idea it was to have changed his mind. I know in some stages their awareness is greater than it is as the disease progresses. Don't know where your loved one is now so this may not work yet. Just know the little white lies gives them peace and makes them feel they still have some "power". Whatever it takes to keep them safe, cared for and at peace is worth doing. As for me, the caregiver, I just keep putting one foot in front of the other looking for the peace that I am doing the right thing. I know I am...just doesn't always feel that way. But my Aunt is OK for now and I am getting there so I must be doing something right!
It took me quite awhile before I felt comfortable with the little white lies because I always wanted to be honest with Mom. Now the little white lies give us both peace...I tell her what she needs/wants to hear and I see her satisfied with the answer. And that makes me feel good. Above all I want her to be safe and secure and as happy as possible.
Yes Oldestof3 You are perfectly correct. Little white lies are the best way of avoiding situations that could become awkward. I too do likewise. I only tell Mother the good news, or exactly what She would like to hear. I avoid telling Mom the negative stuff. For Mom to be diagnosed with Al/s is bad enough, I want to avoid clashing opinions, and enjoy whatever quality time We've got left Together.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Later on she became quarrelsome, confused, etc. Depending on the stage of dementia, it really is no reason to discuss it with them or convince them to change. They aren't going to get the problem or stop doing it. I'd just limit their access to funds and keep them happy as possible. If they are mobile, they could go to the Dollar Tree store with $10.00. That might entertain them without too much cost.
Him that's how it has to be but easier said then done 😊Fortunately my dad does not have access to the money. I guess it's just nice to know we aren't alone.