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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
She has lost a constant in her life. Is she living in her own home or yours.
If her own, you may want to place her. Dementia does not get better and Dads passing may have caused her to decline. Its hard for a woman not with Dementia to acclimate to no longer having a husband. Throw in Dementia and your Mom is wondering where he has gone. Yes, u told her he passed, she was probably there but she may not remember. All she knows is she is alone and scared.
Once my dad passed away & my mother lost her husband & punching bag of 68 years, her behavior worsened & she took out all her anger & misery on ME. She too has dementia, which was in its earlier stages 6 years ago when dad passed, but she was still mean as a snake at that time & saying some pretty horrible things to me. Nowadays, at 94+ with moderately advanced dementia, the gloves are off and her filter is totally gone. Fortunately, she's been living in the same Assisted Living place the whole time, and now in their Memory Care building since 2019, so my exposure to her is limited.
You say your mother is living with you; now may be a good time to think about other living arrangements b/c I can tell you, dementia & ugly behavior only gets worse & worse with time, never better. If she and your dad had a house together, perhaps it can be sold to finance her stay in Assisted Living/Memory Care. Don't set yourself on fire to keep her warm, that's my advice. There comes a point in time where dementia reaches a crisis stage..........where the care requires a TEAM of people working 24/7 in order to properly manage it! I don't know where your mother is terms of her care needs, but please don't rule out moving her when her needs outweigh your capabilities. The activities alone in AL keep them busy, the doctor comes into the AL to see THEM, the hot meals are served, the list is endless, really.
Wishing you the best of luck and my condolences over the loss of your father.
I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. It’s hard to be a full time caregiver. Your profile says that your mom has Alzheimer’s disease, plus that you have a teenager too. God bless you!
Many people will advise that you set boundaries with your mom. I agree. You do have to protect yourself.
Honestly, I don’t know if some parents ever truly appreciate their children as being fully grown adults. They always seem to view them as ‘their little girl,’ instead of an ‘independent’ grown woman!
So, my advice is to respect and love yourself. Do what you feel is best for you and your immediate family. This may include considering other living arrangements for your mom. You are not abandoning her. You will be seeking out the best care. She will benefit from a staff to care for her. You will benefit from having your independence again. Best wishes to you.
Do you have any other questions for the forum? There are many people on the forum that has experience with Alzheimer’s disease. Please feel free to inquire about any of your concerns.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If her own, you may want to place her. Dementia does not get better and Dads passing may have caused her to decline. Its hard for a woman not with Dementia to acclimate to no longer having a husband. Throw in Dementia and your Mom is wondering where he has gone. Yes, u told her he passed, she was probably there but she may not remember. All she knows is she is alone and scared.
You say your mother is living with you; now may be a good time to think about other living arrangements b/c I can tell you, dementia & ugly behavior only gets worse & worse with time, never better. If she and your dad had a house together, perhaps it can be sold to finance her stay in Assisted Living/Memory Care. Don't set yourself on fire to keep her warm, that's my advice. There comes a point in time where dementia reaches a crisis stage..........where the care requires a TEAM of people working 24/7 in order to properly manage it! I don't know where your mother is terms of her care needs, but please don't rule out moving her when her needs outweigh your capabilities. The activities alone in AL keep them busy, the doctor comes into the AL to see THEM, the hot meals are served, the list is endless, really.
Wishing you the best of luck and my condolences over the loss of your father.
Many people will advise that you set boundaries with your mom. I agree. You do have to protect yourself.
Honestly, I don’t know if some parents ever truly appreciate their children as being fully grown adults. They always seem to view them as ‘their little girl,’ instead of an ‘independent’ grown woman!
So, my advice is to respect and love yourself. Do what you feel is best for you and your immediate family. This may include considering other living arrangements for your mom. You are not abandoning her. You will be seeking out the best care. She will benefit from a staff to care for her. You will benefit from having your independence again. Best wishes to you.
Do you have any other questions for the forum? There are many people on the forum that has experience with Alzheimer’s disease. Please feel free to inquire about any of your concerns.