Does anyone else feel like the little fibs and stories come from what the person themselves possibly feels like were somehow failures?
Mum is ok 80% and with reality but lately I’ve noticed her make altered storylines for events. Storylines that are happier, successful etc.
For instance, since we moved overseas Mum has never owned property. She was a housewife when she was married to my stepdad and then she did work but was renting when they separated. I have no inheritance to gain and been working and saving hard to buy a place. I happened to make a comment on how one of my friends had bought a property early and Mum responded with “Well,.. she was most likely assisted", we (talking about my family) have countless property and you could easily take up one of those but you just haven’t. Few years back she knew very well and was actually sorry that she could not help provide for her children, it is something that has always bugged her. Now she is apparently a multi portfolio property invester.
I honestly don’t care but it’s hard to hear when I’m working so hard towards my goals and she puts it on me that I’m just not taking opportunity/being lazy. It rubs me the wrong way but I try and ignore it.
In her her mind she has now painted a success story where she owns lots of property and I’m just a Paris Hilton that doesn’t know what to do with it. Haha.
She is also a VIP at the local store and her name is at the top of a VIP list for customers. Apparently everyone knows this apart from me! Again this came about when for a long time we’d been discussing the expense of groceries and trying to utilise points / promotions. She again painted a more successful / happier storyline where now there is no worry as we get a heap of discount for being VIP and practically own the shop.
One of my brothers she placed in a care facility looooong time ago as he had a slight disability. She has always looked out for him and advocated on his behalf but by law he is under government care/case worker. Not according to Mum anymore. Apparently Mum has special rights and can get him out whenever she feels like and he can go live in one of the many properties we own. I try tell her not to say this to my disabled brother (as he will believe it and be let down) but apparently I’m being the bad one just not understanding.
Also, we moved to this city with no idea what the future holds and what we would do. I was 18 at the time. Now it has changed to,- I had an important role and we moved here due to that.
The list goes on but theres a telltale sign where I feel like these are hurtful or regrets that she has and she is somehow overwriting them in her mind to give herself comfort? Re-recording past events.
has anyone else noticed similar attributes.
Most of the time shes ok but these topics are randomly triggered I think when she feels she’s threatened that she is not good enough.
She is good enough as it is and has always been loved.
Makes you wonder,.. it is a good idea in life to confront yourself, be in peace with oneself and be happy in your own skin and appreciate what you have. Think Mum has bottled all of this up all these years.
Happy Mother’s Day to all and be comfortable in your own skin as your family loves you!
Mom lived with me a short time. There is no estrangement as such with me and my youngest brother but there is almost 12 yrs between us. During most of his growing up years I was married with a kid. Its one of those relationships we don't see each other for a while but when we do its old home week. Well my Mom got on me that I should call him. I told her there was no reason to call him. But she insisted and I said no. There are two children between us. Never any mention of the sister who died or my other brother who we called her golden boy. (literally he was the only blond) So, why did she feel she had to get me and Howard together? We never had a blow out.
TV and dreams became part of her reality. She couldn't separate them. The brain is a very complex thing. It stores all kinds of things and maybe retrieves them as the mind loses other memories.