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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Violence from someone suffering from dementia is not uncommon. Is you Dad able to protect himself? if he is suffering this abuse then he can not continue to care for her and she should be placed in a memory care unit. Before you do this however consult her Drs to see if there are any medications that can control this behavior. There probably are but bear in mind that this will probably make her very drowsy. Does she bite anyone else or is Dad her sole caregiver? If Dad is doing this alone other family members need to step in and help him. Whether she still knows you or not is beside the point, this behavior can not be allowed to continue even though she probably has little or no control over her actions.
Sharonler, your profile says your mom is living with you. Does your dad live there, too? Or is she biting him when he visits? If he is visiting, don't leave her alone with him, and keep some distance between them (a table, for example). This is not a permanent solution.
Is the biting like a young toddler who tries to put anything in her mouth and bites at everything? Or more deliberate and with the intention to hurt?
Your poor family! This has got to be extremely upsetting. People with dementia often can't help their actions, and sometimes they are very confused about what their actions mean. For example, she may think "I want to kiss this man," and when she gets her mouth close to him she forgets what kissing is. I'm not trying to specifically explain her behavior but point out that in general dementia behaviors may not mean what they seem to mean. I hope Dad understands this concept. Help him not take this personally.
But whatever the reason behind the behavior, and even if Dad understands, it has got to stop. Just because persons with dementia don't know what they are doing does not mean that anyone should accept abuse.
What kind of doctor is treating her dementia? (GP, neurologist, etc) Have you discussed this behavior with the doctor? Are you satisfied that this doctor has experience and training in treating dementia? If not, I'd consider changing doctors. Is your mother now taking anything for her behavior? Anti-anxiety, antidepressant, any pills like that?
Tell us more about these biting episodes.
1) Prevent this from happening in the short run, probably by separating them. 2) Talk to her doctor about her behavior. 3) If necessary, find a dementia specialist for Mom. 4) Follow the doctor's advice. Get a second opinion if it seems too extreme to you. 5) Whatever else you do, comfort poor Dad. This is Not His Fault and not Mom's fault either. Dementia is a very, very hateful disease!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Before you do this however consult her Drs to see if there are any medications that can control this behavior.
There probably are but bear in mind that this will probably make her very drowsy.
Does she bite anyone else or is Dad her sole caregiver? If Dad is doing this alone other family members need to step in and help him. Whether she still knows you or not is beside the point, this behavior can not be allowed to continue even though she probably has little or no control over her actions.
Is the biting like a young toddler who tries to put anything in her mouth and bites at everything? Or more deliberate and with the intention to hurt?
Your poor family! This has got to be extremely upsetting. People with dementia often can't help their actions, and sometimes they are very confused about what their actions mean. For example, she may think "I want to kiss this man," and when she gets her mouth close to him she forgets what kissing is. I'm not trying to specifically explain her behavior but point out that in general dementia behaviors may not mean what they seem to mean. I hope Dad understands this concept. Help him not take this personally.
But whatever the reason behind the behavior, and even if Dad understands, it has got to stop. Just because persons with dementia don't know what they are doing does not mean that anyone should accept abuse.
What kind of doctor is treating her dementia? (GP, neurologist, etc) Have you discussed this behavior with the doctor? Are you satisfied that this doctor has experience and training in treating dementia? If not, I'd consider changing doctors. Is your mother now taking anything for her behavior? Anti-anxiety, antidepressant, any pills like that?
Tell us more about these biting episodes.
1) Prevent this from happening in the short run, probably by separating them.
2) Talk to her doctor about her behavior.
3) If necessary, find a dementia specialist for Mom.
4) Follow the doctor's advice. Get a second opinion if it seems too extreme to you.
5) Whatever else you do, comfort poor Dad. This is Not His Fault and not Mom's fault either. Dementia is a very, very hateful disease!