So mom is 96 yrs old, living in her house with outside help. Her memory is getting worse month by month, and she has lost interest in things. She seems happy to just sleep a lot and watch tv. I visit every Sat & Sun and
call her every day to check in. I'm running out of things to talk about.
She will reminisce sometimes but usually not for long. We talk about the weather and what I'm cooking or may have done for the day and then
that's about it. I ask about her day and it's always the same, I'm ok nothing new here.
Does anyone have any other ideas about what to talk about?
I feel bad but she won't engage in conversation and I just usually chat
on and on about stupid stuff till I'm out ideas. I don't know, maybe that
is ok and I'm just feeling bad because even last year we would talk
for up to 2 hours each night!!
Stories about my kids and their friends. Stories from my job. Facebook posts from my mom's sibling's children and grandchildren. Embellished stories.
I always brought a treat for her to eat, like a brownie or donut and a decaf coffee.
I kept my visits toban hour or so. Always gave her a manicure, hand massage and neck rub.
Hope maybe some of this will give you some ideas.
when I go over, it's the phone visits where I fall short.
I'm realizing though, it's me feeling the loss.
This has kind of happen suddenly, well within the last year.
More so the last 6 months. It's just sad.
Thank you again!!
She's 96!
Yes, there are certainly 96 yo's who can hold perfectly interesting and cognizant conversations! Both my grandmothers were bright and 'with it' inot their 90's. My mom at 91 has a few topics of conversations, and bless her, she tries..but she's tired, her brain is addled as to time and place, to a degree. While I can talk to her for 2 hours if I had to, it would be VERY frustrating and not very much actual communication would go on.
Let her take the lead. I find that even at 65, I am tired of talking to people at times, esp when it's the same old, same old.
If she's fine with you doing most of the talking, then just go on. Take hold of the memories of when she was younger and more aware and let this worry go. I would hazard that she's simply tired.
Think how lucky you have been to have had that relationship for so many years! You've been very, very blessed!
I do treasure all the talks we have had in the past.
Now we just visit a bit and I can tell when she is ready to hang up.
She has said, "I'm just tired" a lot more this year, rightfully so.
It's just new to me so thanks for the assurance.
don't have any friends. She was always my "go to" person.
It is still hard to accept that she is slipping away. I think is why
I'm trying to find ways to hang on to what we had.
Once I recognized it I'm beginning to accept it.
thank you so much for sweet reply.
Did she used to read much? You could read to her, just a few pages each visit, even if her memory is poor. Some folks take great comfort in this.
Make her a cup of tea or coffee. Do you have family photos that need to be dated or organized? Go through those with her and see if she can identify who's in the picture, what the occasion was, etc., write on the back or caption somehow. Beneficial for both of you! Start a jigsaw puzzle together. Make the activity last through several visits. No real conversation required here.
You are having difficulty, no doubt, remembering how your mom used to be as opposed to how she is now. We all change as we age, some more than others.
((((Hugs))))
with the silence. I appreciate your insight.