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She is super frail and I am surprised she didn’t break anything. We made the decision not to call the doctor. I knew she’d be sore but now I am feeling terrible I didn’t take her.


My husband had just had surgery and was having a hard time. Between him and other issues I made the decision not to have her checked out.


NOW I feel I made the wrong decision. She has insurance and Medicare. I am worried doctor will put her in a hospital or nursing hone where she will catch germs.

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It's OK that you didn't take her at the time, I'm sure that you looked her over and didn't feel the urgency, but now in hindsight, you feel that she does need to be seen by her Dr, just to be sure. Remember, we are not Drs, we do not know everything, but you are doing the right thing now, by having here seen to, and to make sure that everything is OK.

Try not to feel guilty, that will not accomplish anything. Just like newborn babies, old people, and especially those with Dementia do not come with a instructions manual, so cut yourself a break, and get her evaluated now, to make sure she hasn't fractured any bones. You were doing your best at the time to prioritize the issues you had going on at home, it's going to be alright! Like others have mentioned, perhaps it's time for Mom to go into a Supportive Senior Living environment, such as a Nursing home, as you've got a lot going on at home.
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((Hugs)) Patticake - If you think she needs a hospital then she is seriously injured and you need to seek treatment for her, delaying will only make recovery more difficult. As for the nursing home, they aren't jails and you can't be forced to put her into one, but are you sure you can still give her the care she needs at home?
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You’re human. You’re ONE person dealing with multiple situations at the same time.
You assessed the situation, determined there was no immediate danger or emergency, and triaged the other situations. You did the best you could at the time. If snd when you see that the situation has changed, or not improved, then you can deal with it. Don’t beat yourself up! Look forward- because that’s the direction we are all going👍🏼
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As usual, cwillie gives great advice. She will not be hospitalized for bumps and/or bruises. If she is hospitalized, there is a need for it. She could have an internal hemorrhage.

Pay attention to what cwille says about placing her. You have a lot on your plate right now. There’s only one of you and you have two people to care for.

The doctor can only suggest that she goes to a nursing home. He/she can’t place her. That’s up to you.

If shes a fall risk, she may need a team of caregivers to supervise her. Not that you can’t handle it or aren’t doing a good job. My mom was in a nursing home for 4 years and she never had continual colds, flu or anything “germ-related”. But she was supervised and safe.
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I feel guilty too Patticake,still,even though Mother has been gone 2 and a half years now.Mother had ,had a hip replacement and was in the hospital rehab 21 days and she had worked so hard with her Physical therapy every single day.When we got home though,the first thing she did was to fall backwards over the coffee table.I should've taken her right back to the hospital,but she begged me not to,so I didn't.I was tired of the hospital too.She said she was alright,but a bump formed on her back and never went away.We joked and called it her "butt bump",but really it wasn't funny at all.
I wish I'd have taken her anyway,even though we both didn't want to go.
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When Mom was in an AL she was taken to the er 4x in 4 consecutive months for falls. She broke nothing each time. I told them to stop sending her without a call to me first. They said she had complained of pain. Yes, right after the fall. Aren't you in pain after a fall. A Dementia patient can't discribe the pain. I asked that they give her a while. If she constantly complains or shows she is having pain, the send her out.

One way they can tell if there is pain is by her blood pressure. If its high, it could be caused by pain. I have a nurse in the family that could check Mom out when the ALs nurse was not there.
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Thank you for your support! I did take her to the doctors and she didn’t break or fracture anything. I am so glad that I know that. Joann 29 I think what you said about her not being able to discribe the pain is accurate. Even though mom’s dementia is relatively mild (?). I question my wording, ha! My daughter and I think her fall and confusion is related to mom losing her last sister and grandson in the last month. Mom can’t seem to accept their unexpected deaths. She now wants me to wait on her as I am doing for my husband who had major surgery. I will remember what you each one said. Thank you again.
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Yes I think I can unless the doctor finds a problem. We neither one like her primary care doctor but he is the one I need to take her to today. If her back wasn’t so deformed from arthritis I’d think she’s just sore. I need to make sure. I just feel bad I didn’t take her sooner.
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Hi Patticake..I had the same thing happen to my mother, waited a couple of days, decided that the soreness was probably not normal, ended up taking her to Er and she had fractured her pelvis in two places. I would definitely take your mom in.
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Patticake, the procedure I'm thinking of is called vertebroplasty. Part of consenting to any procedure is knowing what they want to do and why, that's why it's called INFORMED CONSENT - if you don't understand what they are proposing and can't find info on line about it then they aren't doing their jobs.
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